By Anne

Disclaimer: The auther does not own the characters from Hercules: the Legendary Journeys. Those characters belong to MCA/Universal and were used without permission. No copyright infringement intended and no money was made.

This is for everyone on the list but especially Queenie, Martine and Ruric who were so hospitable (and inspirational!)

"Ow, Hephaestus, ow, what are you DOING?" Iolaus yelled as he wriggled fruitlessly against his bonds. Pretty pointless to struggle, he knew, when you've been chained face down over a table by the God of Blacksmiths himself, but when had he ever given up without a fight?

And certainly the manoeuvres in which Hephaestus was engaged would have provoked anyone to rebellion. Every so often he took a strip of leather, wrapped it around or laid it along part of Iolaus' body, then tied a knot in it and laid it down beside its fellows on the floor.

Every touch seemed to get more intimate and the latest had been the most personal of all, along and around the hunter's most prized possession (Editor's note: not the amulet).

"Hmm.." remarked Hephaestus, impressed, "looks like we might have to stop calling you The Little Guy."

Iolaus tried again. "Stop fidgeting!" snapped Hephaestus, "I'm trying to measure you. I'm making a little gift for you,"

Irritation, curiosity and fear warred within Iolaus. Curiosity, as usual, won out. "Err, what is it actually that you're going to make?"

"Should I tell you? Will the suspense of not knowing be worse than the horror of the truth?" The scarred god grinned. "No. It won't be." He leaned over and stroked the hunter's blond curls. "They won't be calling you Loverboy anymore either. I'm making you a chastity belt!"

"What? No! You can't!"

"Why not? I'm a god. I can do what I like, pretty much, and I intend to put a stop to your carry on with my 'Dite,"

Iolaus took a deep breath and tried not to panic. "Firstly, chastity belts are for women, secondly, Hercules won't let you, and thirdly, because I am not carrying on with your 'Dite!" His voice had risen to a shout. "I'm in love with Hercules and I'm a one man woman, er, a one man man and I am not attracted to your 'Dite!"

Hephaestus stood back and looked at him consideringly. "Let's take your arguments one at a time, shall we? Number 1 - chastity belts were made only for women in the past, but I'm the God of Smiths and I'm going to invent the male version. Number 2 - when Hercules hears what you've been getting up to he'll want to put you into a chastity belt himself. Number 3 - Strife told me exactly what had been going on between you and her - and as for you being faithful, well, everyone knows you've got a woman in every human habitation from here to the ends of the known world! And probably a man as well!" he finished triumphantly.

"Listen Heph," the glare Iolaus got from the god told him that his attempt at familiarity was not being well-received, "sorry, Hephaestus, listen. Strife is the God of Mischief, right?"

The glare intensified until you could have fired, well, a male chastity belt in it. "I know that," Hephaestus replied through gritted teeth.

"So, he lies, doesn't he? That's how he creates his mischief!"

"He doesn't always lie. Sometimes he creates his mischief by revealing the truth that some would like to keep hidden, and that's what's going on here. I've seen you looking at her and, more to the point, I've seen her looking at you and she is the Goddess of Love - she can have who she wants."

"But I want Hercules! I admit that before Herc and I became lovers I might have had *some* interest - OK, a lot. But since then..." Iolaus' voice trailed away as he thought of something else. "Um. This chastity belt. Who's gonna have the key?"

"Key?" Hephaestus was really enjoying himself now. "Oh no, Iolaus, you've got it all wrong. There won't be a key. This chastity belt is gonna be a permanent fixture!"

"Strife?" said Hercules.

"Yeah, strife, that was it," the young serving-girl he was interrogating

said to her friend.

"Strife, right. Yeah. Definitely."

"Just that? No more?"

"Look, that was all we heard him shout, OK?" The girl sighed and rolled her eyes. "We've got jobs to do, gratuities to collect..." she stared at

Hercules meaningfully. The demigod dropped a few dinars into her grubby hand but as she was about to tuck the money into her ample cleavage, her

friend reached out. A brief tussle ensued but just as Hercules was ready to lose patience and drag them apart an amicable settlement was reached and they returned their attention to his questions.

"Where were we?"

"Strife," said Hercules resignedly.

"Yeah, that's what he said. I'll tell you something strange, though,"

At last, thought Hercules, a clue.

"He didn't sound distressed,"

"Or dismayed," her friend chimed in.

"Or disturbed,"

"Or depressed,"

"I get the picture," Hercules at last managed to interject. "How did he sound?"

"Surprised,"

"Shocked,"

"Staggered,"

"Thank you, ladies," Hercules realised he would get no more useful information from those two. "You've been very helpful,"

"Byeeee" they chorused. "And by the way," said the first girl, "give our love to your friend,"

"Yeah," laughed her colleague, "we thought he was cute!"

Great, thought Hercules, that just about makes my day. So my 'lover' spent the night before his disappearance chatting up serving girls, did he? Just wait till I get my hands on him...

In pursuit of that admirable goal, he soon found himself in one of Ares' more lavishly-appointed temples.

"Tack-y" he murmured to himself as he scattered a carefully arranged display of golden ornaments. "Hasn't anyone told this guy that less is more when it comes to ornaments?"

He ripped a silken curtain from hem to hem. "He doesn't even know that *brown* is the new black! Oh no, maybe that was last week. Maybe this week it's grey. Or is it white? Or..."

A pair of muscular hands seized his throat and he found himself staring into the cruel yet handsome countenance of his most fearsome half-brother.

"Bro," Ares breathed, "perhaps you'd like to explain what you think you're doing to my temple,"

"Well, apart from critiquing your sense of interior decor..."

"Hey, it went down well enough with that scribe from 'Greetings!', the most popular scroll in the kingdom,"

"Exactly,"

Ares' hands tightened around Hercules' throat.

"I'm looking for Iolaus," the demigod wheezed."He's missing and I heard that Strife was involved so naturally I thought of you,"

"Oh, your little boyfriend," Ares laughed. "Well, I haven't got him. I'm not interested. Not in your little friend. Not in you," he moved back marginally.

"No, of course not," Hercules grinned, "That's why you throw me to the ground and roll around in the dirt with me on a frequent, regular basis, is it? Because you're not interested?"

"No, no," Ares dropped him and backed away, hands in the air. "I'm not, I can't be, you're, you're, *good*...." his voice dropped away to a whisper as his horror grew. "I've told you before, it doesn't mean a thing!"

"Strife?" said Hercules.

"Um, he told Hephaestus that 'Dite was, y'know, with Iolaus," Ares was still distracted.

"Why?"

Ares stared at Hercules. "He's the God of Mischief? It's what he does?" he said blankly.

Hercules laughed to himself as he left for Hephaestus' forge.

"Easy peasy lemon squeezy," he observed. In Ancient Greek, of course.

While Hephaestus busied himself with the finer points of chastity belt manufacture elsewhere in the forge, Iolaus was making further attempts to escape, wriggling energetically in his bonds.

Arriving at the forge, Hercules stood out of sight and watched him for some moments .

"I could watch this all day," he remarked at last (Editor's note: so could I).

"Herc!" Iolaus cried joyfully. "Quick, get me out of here! Hephaestus could be back at any minute!"

"Uh huh," Hercules remarked, keeping his distance.

"Herc, you don't understand! He's going to put me in a chastity belt! Permanently!"

"Is he? And why is he going to do that?"

"Because Strife made up some silly story about me and Aphrodite!"

"It's a silly story, is it? I seem to remember a time..."

It's difficult to be flirtatious and charming while practically upside down, but Iolaus did his considerable best.

"Herc, I am not attracted to Aphrodite. Not under any circumstances, not any more. I love *you*. And you love me, remember? It wouldn't be much fun for you. You're always telling me how much you love my ass..."

"And I do," Hercules moved to the table and draped a caressing hand over the body part in question. "But I'd still have that hot, sweet little mouth..." He moved to the front of the table and pressed his fingers against Iolaus' lips.

Hercules knelt before his lover and gave him a slow smile before leaning in for a kiss.

"I heard that!" Aphrodite materialised, her normally sweet face bearing a surprisingly ferocious expression.

"What?" said Hercules.

"Unquote: I am not attracted to Aphrodite, not under any circumstances. Quote"

Iolaus groaned. Could things get any worse?

"It's quote, unquote," said Hercules calmly.

"Whatever," Aphrodite hissed. "I'm the Goddess of Love and I don't take that from anybody!"

"Listen, 'Dite, um, Aphrodite," Iolaus was not going to make the over-familiarity mistake again, "I think you're the most beautiful *female* I've ever seen. But I'm in love with Hercules now, and it's him I'm attracted to. If I were to be attracted to a woman, or a goddess, you'd definitely be the one."

It sounds pretty unconvincing, even to me, Iolaus thought, but you never know. We're not dealing with the Goddess of Wisdom here after all.

"OK," she said.

Demigod and hunter exchanged cautious looks.

"Meaning?" said Hercules.

"OK, I forgive you. I might even go so far as to talk Hephie baby into forgetting this chastity belt gig. But there's one *little* thing I want you guys to do for me first,"

"I knew there'd be a catch," sighed Hercules. "One *little* thing?"

"I wanna watch," she replied.

"Watch what?"

"Y'know. *You*. You *two*."

They stared at her disbelievingly.

"Getting it on. Getting it on down. Doing the wild thing."

"Just run this by me again. You want to watch us having sex. Yes?" Hercules said, hoping that there was the faint possibility of a misunderstanding.

"Yes," she said decisively.

"Why?"

Aphrodite shrugged. "The idea kinda turns me on, y'know?" (Editor's note: we know)

"Um, Herc. Can you get me out of those chains?" Iolaus muttered.

"Sorry, Iolaus. They were made by a god, so there's nothing I can do."

"Same for the chastity belt?"

Hercules nodded.

"Looks like there's nothing else for it, then."

"What?" Hercules hissed. "Look, Iolaus, apart from anything else, she's my sister!"

"Oh, wow, Hercules, don't be so, like, boring," Aphrodite intervened. "Half of our family is married to the other half,"

"I've always thought that explained a lot," replied Hercules grimly.

"Come on, Herc, you can't tell me it doesn't turn you on. Just a little bit..." Iolaus murmured to Hercules. "She's the Goddess of Love and she wants to watch us?"

"OK, Aphrodite," Hercules gave in. "You name the time and the place and we'll meet you,"

"Here. Now."

Herc and Iolaus looked at 'Dite and then at each other.

"Uh uh. Can't do it."

"Not on."

"Fine. I'll just leave Hephaestus to get on with it then, shall I?"

"But 'Dite, this isn't a very romantic spot," pleaded Iolaus.

"Of course it's romantic," she responded briskly, "the Goddess of Love is here,"

"Hephaestus might be back at any minute!" objected Hercules.

"Better get moving, then - unless you want the Hefster to watch as well..."

"No!" they shouted.

Hercules was still kneeling on the floor before his lover.

"Well, Iolaus?"

"Do it for me, big guy," whispered Iolaus with a grin. Hercules could never resist that particular look on the hunter's face and leaned in for a kiss.

"I'll do it for you, all right..."

Hercules moved to the end of the table where the hunter's feet were tied.

"Uh, 'Dite?"

The goddess regarded him quizzically.

"What?"

"There's nothing I can do about these chains and I thought that maybe you..."

"Nah," Aphrodite smiled, "I think I like him like that,"

"But what about his clothes?"

"OK, those can disappear!" She laughed and suddenly Iolaus was naked.

"Hey! I liked those pants! And my vest!"

"Stop worrying - you'll get them back. *If* I like your performance..." She pulled up a chair a short distance from the table and made herself comfortable. "Well?" she addressed her brother. "What are we waiting for?"

Hercules leaned over his lover and began to nuzzle the back of his neck while murmuring in his ear.

"The things I do for you! Who else could find themselves in this..."

"Position?" Iolaus giggled quietly. He felt the demigod's weight on his back and Herc's hands slid under his body and down to his hips. Iolaus began to move against his lover, pulling at the chains that held him to the table.

"Whoops! Forgot something!" exclaimed Aphrodite and Hercules broke off to glare at his sister as he realised that he, too, was now naked.

"You may continue," she said smoothly.

"If anyone can do it, big guy, it's you," murmured Iolaus, as Hercules returned his attention to his task. "You've never let me down yet," the hunter gasped "and I can feel that you're not gonna let me down now..."

Hercules' hands caressed the hunter's hips.

"Let you *down*?" The massive hands of the demigod reached the hunter's cock and squeezed. "No, Iolaus, I'll never let you down. One way or another..."

Hercules suddenly hesitated.

"Er, 'Dite, we could do with..." A small flask appeared in front of him.

He removed the top of the flask to find a pleasant-smelling oil. He poured it onto his hands, then coated his erection with it, humming with pleasure at the sensation.

"It's good stuff," said his sister, "I know about these things. I am the Goddess of Love, after all,"

Hercules placed one oiled finger at the entrance to the hunter's ass, then pushed gently. He added another and pushed a little further, finding the hunter's pleasure centre and causing Iolaus to wriggle and gasp.

"Oh, yeah, Herc, come on, lover, yeah..." Iolaus was incoherent, though not speechless, with enjoyment as Hercules' other hand returned to his cock. Hercules positioned himself and then slid smoothly inside his lover's ass.

"So good," he murmured, "so sweet," He bent his head and nibbled at the nape of the hunter's neck, then realised that his sister was kneeling in front of them both. She grinnned at him, then began to stroke his lover's face. Iolaus opened surprised blue eyes to realise that Aphrodite was leaning in to kiss him.

You would expect the Goddess of Love to be a good kisser; she was. Iolaus was lost in rapture as the demigod and his sister made love to him together. Hercules was moving back and forth inside him, stroking his cock and nipping at his neck and shoulders. 'Dite's tongue explored his mouth with a delicious thoroughness. Suddenly, however, she moved away but she was back in a second - this time she had parted her robe and, instead of her mouth, she offered him her breast. As he suckled on her, she stroked his hair with one hand and thrust the other between her thighs.

Iolaus, overcome with feeling, could last no longer and came with a muffled groan. The exquisite sensation of his ass tightening on Hercules' cock caused the demigod to follow him into ecstasy, rather more noisily. Moments later, Aphrodite joined them with the loudest climax of all. Lying on the floor, she smiled up at them.

"I thought you were just gonna watch?" gasped Hercules. Iolaus was beyond speech or thought.

"Yeah, but when I saw you two in action I couldn't just sit there, could I?" She stood up and immediately she was her usual self - not a hair out of place, robe immaculate. "You were pretty impressive, guys, I must admit. Anything I can offer you? A little present?"

"Apart from squaring things with Hephaestus, removing these chains and returning our clothes?"

Aphrodite grinned at them and inclined her head slightly. Following her gaze, Hercules saw a pile of familiar clothing on the floor. Then he heard Iolaus give a soft gasp. The limp body of the hunter was slipping out from under him as the chains pinning Iolaus to the table disappeared.

"And you can consider the Hefmeister sorted,"

Hercules locked his arms around his lover's waist and considered. "A lifetime's supply of that oil would be good,"

"I bet. Sorry, guys, that stuff's at a premium even for us. Hey!" Aphrodite had what she considered to be a good idea. "Have this!"

Around her neck and down her back flowed a cascade of pink feathers, carefully arranged to hide none of her charms. She unwound it from her neck, then arranged it around Iolaus' oblivious head.

"Thanks a lot, Sis." Hercules said sarcastically. "That'll be very useful."

"No problem," Aphrodite took his remarks at face value. "Later, guys!" She drifted off through the forge in search of Hephaestus.

Hercules leaned over his lover and dropped a brief kiss on his sleepy face.

"C'mon Iolaus, time to go home."

Iolaus opened his eyes and smiled at Hercules. "Umm, Herc? What am I wearing?"

"I have no idea, but it's a present from Aphrodite,"

"Oh. Does it suit me?"

More aesthetic judgements. Hercules looked at him as they both dressed. "Pink isn't really your colour. You look better in blue. Blue silk, maybe." But there was something uncomfortably familiar... "You don't have any relatives who teach dancing? Nah, forget it, forget I said anything. Let's get moving and you can tell me what you've been up to while I was away."

"Yeah, Herc, as a matter of fact, I've got a great story for you," Iolaus began as they walked away. "It starts with Salmoneus in a gold lame thong...."

THE END

E-mail the author at A.T.Costigan@Bradford.ac.uk