Ok...here's the deal....I had a lot going on in my life for a while from around the  Begining of October, to the present that I did not want certain individuals reading about on my website, so i stopped making entries.  I plan to very soon (within the next week hopefully) begin adding entries again.  I may remove all the entries that are currently here (or move them to a page of there own linked to from here) and start over fresh...in the meantime, feel free to read about what I have here right now.

Monday, September 4, 2000

3:42am--at the new desk in my room

Ok...so I realize it's the middle of the night, but I've worked hard at getting a personal website started over the last couple of days and I decided I can't let this page go a full day without actually putting something on it.  So this is my first entry.

It's been quite an interesting day, I am of course referring to Sunday.  Chris had to work today, though he spent the night last night.  He tries not to drive any more than he has to because he doesn't like driving, so I had to get up early and take him home so that he could change and drive himself to work.  (early for me is 11am because of my shift at work)  Taking him home was a good thing though, it gave his mother and I a chance to just sit and talk for a bit, and it also gave me an opportunity to work on my website using his DSL instead of having to deal with the shitty dial up I have here.

I came home and spent some time doing not much of anything but hanging out with my mom and Alex, then mom and I decided to go shopping.  We only had a couple of small things we needed to get, but of course we spent more than we'd planned.  I ended up buying myself a new desk.  When we got home I helped my mom around the house with some things and by the time I was finally able to get around to getting my old desk out and start assembling the new one it was 10pm.  Well, 5 hours and half a pack of cigarettes (remind me that I really must quit smoking) later I was able to get online with my desk on my freshly assembled desk and check my email and deal with other such things I do on a daily basis.  I really should be in bed now, but I decided to do this entry.

Ok, well I'm off to bed now.  I'm sure I'll write more soon.  Till then, au revoir.

3:54pm--bored at work on Labor Day

Ok, well here I am at work bored out of my mind.  It's labor day, like anything is going to happen today.  Oh well, at least I'm making double time and a half to be here.  I'm not sitting at my own desk, guess it's back to sharing a desk with Felicia for a while, as it's become obvious that the hard drive on my computer is on the brink of death.  Here's hoping that today won't seem to drag on forever.

Wednesday September 6, 2000

1:22am--just home from work, should be in bed

Monday at work was a really long long slow day.  I didn't think the day was ever going to end.  Tuesday was a bit better, things were really slow tonight, but it seemed to go by faster.  I really should be in bed, I have to be at work at 8am for meetings all morning.  Ah, the benefits of Corporate America, get home at 1am and have to be up at 6am to be to work by 8am the next morning.  Fortunately I only have to be in to work that early every other Wednesday.

Things should be picking up at work pretty quick here.  Just as soon as the Olympics start we'll be working our asses off just to keep up with all the emails coming in from a major Olympic website (I can't say which one because of a non-disclosure agreement I have with work that prevents me from disclosing our clients) But that's what happens when you work at a company that does the customer support for other internet companies...oh, for anyone that doesn't know I work at eAssist.com.  I just wish that our other clients were a little bit busier.  Oh well, such is life; and a couple of our clients seem like they'll be busy just as soon as they start doing some marketing.

Well, I really should be getting to bed now, as it is I'm not going to get enough sleep.  I'll write more soon.  Till then...

Thursday September 7, 2000

9:16pm--another slow boring day at work

Well, here I am at work again pretty bored.  I got my work done, but we just haven't got any transactions coming in from any of our clients websites today.  I rest assured that though the group I work in in the company is operating at a loss, the company is bringing in enough to deal with it through our other endeavors, at least my job security isn't threatened by the fact that we're so slow.  I know that a time will come not so far in the future that I'll only be able to update my website from home.

I relish the fact that I am able to use AIM and MSN messenger at work to communicate with my friends, otherwise surfing the net gets really old real quick.  I have a couple of friends that I talk to on a really regular basis that help the slow times go by more quickly.

One of my co-workers was watching the MTV Video Music Awards live over the internet tonight.  Don't you just love technology?

I had some car problems yesterday, but they seem to be all taken care of (I hope).  I had almost completely run out of coolant in my car and had it steaming pretty bad and overheating.  Really stressed me out until I figured out what was causing the problem and was able to get some more coolant in there.  Fortunately filling it with water was able to get me all the way home.  I hope that I haven't got any leaks in the coolant system, cause I really can't afford automotive repairs this month; especially when I'm planning on trading it in around six months from now.  Everyone keep your fingers crossed for me that I don't have any problems.

Monday September 18, 2000

11:52pm--What a week...

Ok, so it's been over a week since my last entry...and what a week it's been.  Last Monday, on my way home from work I got a flat tire.  When I tried to change it I discovered that there was a lug lock on that tire and I didn't have the key.  I ended up having the car towed to the dealer that was about half a mile away.  

I stayed with Chris all week because we carpooled (that's why I haven't made an entry in over a week...been busy at work and haven't been home much).  Since my car was already in the shop, I had them check on some other problems I've been having.  I determined that I couldn't afford the long list of problems that they came up with ($1300 worth...on a car I paid $2000 for a year ago...I don't think so)  So I headed in to work with the spare on Friday, with the intent of having the spare replaced on Saturday.  I got about half way to work and the car overheated far worse than ever before.  I ended up leaving it there and getting someone to take me the rest of the way to work.  I got a ride back to my car on Friday night and it got me home without any problem.

After the problems with the car on Friday I decided that I absolutely HAD to replace the water pump on my car (one of the recommendations of the dealer...and something I had planned on doing with my next paycheck anyway).  I figured if I replaced that, I could deal with the other minor problems for 6 months until I have the money for a down payment on a new car.  So, I took it in to be taken care of.

I got a call when I was supposed to be going to pick it up and they told me that they got it all fixed, and started it up to let it run to make sure that the car doesn't overheat.  When the car got warmed up the new pump started pouring out water.  They told me that they would have to take it apart the next day and check out the gasket (which they replaced the same time as the water pump) and if the gasket was good then the interface between the water pump and the engine was warped.  The only way to fix that is replace the engine.  So, I figured that I'd most likely have to take my car in next weekend and trade it in for a used car rather than get the new one in six months like I want.

Well, fortunately they called me today and told me that it's ready for me to pick up tomorrow.  I asked what the deal is and they told me that they took it apart and checked it out and that there were some loose bolts on the new water pump....My Goodness...can you say MAJOR WEIGHT OFF OF MY SHOULDERS!!  I'm really glad that this all worked out the way it did.

So...that sums up the week in my regular life.  On the work front, I've been recruited to be in charge of a special project.  As I've said before, I work for eAssist.com  and I'm now in charge of about 23 temps that we've hired to answer emails for one of our clients (again, I can not say who because of my non disclosure agreement, but I can say that it is a MAJOR Olympics information site.  If you really want to know who it is read the press agreement here http://biz.yahoo.com/bw/000918/ca_eassist.html)  Needless to say if you've read the press release, this is a major responsibility.  I've been very busy at work.

Well, I must get going now...until next time... Ciao Bello

Wednesday September 27, 2000

1:59pm--Adjusting to MAJOR changes...

Yet again, it's been over a week since my last entry.  So much has changed.

Last Wednesday on the way to work, Chris and I had a talk.  He told me that he felt that we'd be better off as friends.  I agreed with him.  We tell everyone it was a mutual decision.  He may have initiated it, but I know it is for the best and didn't disagree with him when he brought it up.  Even though I know it is for the best, that doesn't change the fact that it hurts.  We're trying to stay friends, what else are we supposed to do...we work together and see each other 4 days a week at work.  Besides, we've invested far too much time in each others lives to just walk away.

The hardest part about trying to stay friends is getting it through his thick head that no matter what he might do, nothing will hurt me more than finding out he's lied to me will hurt.  He's been telling me little lies about the state of his current affairs, and that hurts.  All I want is for him to be happy, and I really hope that we are able to remain friends.  I don't mind that he is already seeing someone else, that falls into the category of just wanting him to be happy.  I do mind that he lied to me about it.  That hurts more than anything else.  I know he is just trying to protect me, but after all the time we were together I can tell when he is lying and I don't like having to drag the truth out of him.  I think that given a little bit of time, after we both adjust to the changes of being just friends he'll reach the point where he doesn't feel that he has to lie to me anymore, I just hope that it happens before he tells so many lies that he's destroyed our friendship in the process.

I'm adjusting ok.  I am making some new friends now.  The first weekend was the hardest...after spending every weekend with Chris for the past year and a half it's a sad day when you realize that you don't have any other friends anymore.  Chris is just certain that I'm getting involved with someone else, but all I want right now is to make some good friends.  I'm not ready to jump into another relationship just yet, and besides...when I am ready for another relationship I've already got someone special in mind from my past whom I've always known our paths would cross again someday.

Ok, well I best get to work, it may be a slow day here today but I do have some responsibilities to tend to...my 15 minutes to pour my heart out to the world are up now.

I'll try to write more frequently.  Until then, if anyone reads this, please feel free to use the email link at the bottom and send me your thoughts, or your heartfelt support and understanding for how I'm feeling right now.

Monday October 2, 2000

5:44pm--Life seems so full of changes lately...

Ok, well here I am at work.  Surprisingly it's a slow night yet again.  Trying to stay friends with Chris is proving to be more difficult than I had imagined.  I can accept that he has a new boyfriend, and I can accept that he dresses like, talks like, listens to music like, and even eats like (he's decided he's a vegetarian now) his new boyfriend.  What I have issues with is the fact that he's really developed quite an attitude problem towards me.  He's become an outright asshole in the way he talks to me and the way he treats me.  My friends tell me that he's always been that way, just never towards me.  I guess what it all amounts to is that I'm just like any other person to him now...nothing special.

Things are a little different at work as well.  The Olympics project is now over.  The day before the Olympics Project began, I had a talk with my supervisor about some shortcomings I had been having, and now that the project is over and I am back on the floor, I am actually working on the floor and have given up my prior position for the time being.  It has been put on the records as a probationary period.  My Supervisor told me he thinks I am a great guy, I just wasn't ready for the extra responsibility, that I had too many other things going on in my life at the moment to be able to give the extra responsibility 100%.  I think he is right, and I am glad to just be working here still.  I think this is a great company and I love not only the people, but also the environment.  I just need some time to get the rest of my life in order, and when the time comes again I am sure I will be able to prove that I can handle the responsibilities of moving up again.

Life is full of changes...I guess we all just have to learn to go with the flow...to roll with the punches.  Any words of support or anyone who just wants to say that they've been there before and know how difficult life can be at times, I always appreciate hearing from people...my email link can be found at the bottom....oh, and if you're cute and single...send a pic along too.  :)

Till next time, Au Revoir

To contact me, email me at nicolai78@yahoo.com

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