I was born and raised in Rochester, a mid-sized city in Western New York which has a midwestern flair to it, while, at the same time, being close enough to the East to take some of its flavor from the Northeastern coastal cities. To me, Rochester is a great place to grow up and to live. Sitting right on Lake Ontario, it has a wonderful beach and some beautiful places to just go and think for a while. Besides my family--all of whom live around the Rochester area--I miss the lake most of all now that I live in Hartford, Connecticut.
I went to college at the State University of New York at Albany, where I attained both a bachelor's and a master's degree. I loved my education at SUNY-Albany, and have many fond memories of my experiences there, one of which was meeting my ex-wife, a beautiful and caring woman. I can't imagine anyone else being a better mother to my two children. We dated for five years and were married for another five before I finally figured things out for myself. She was the first person I told about my sexuality, and she stood by me for several years while we tried to find a solution in which we could stay together. We couldn't, and we have been divorced since early in 1994.
My two children visit with me every other weekend. Both of them are happy and healthy, full of life, and always ready to laugh and find enjoyment in every minute of their lives. I couldn't ask for two more wonderful children. The fact that they are there and that they love me has been the one thing that has seen me through the harder moments in my life.
I have a Mother, two brothers, and two sisters who live in Rochester. I am out to all of them. My family's history is fraught with issues and difficult times, but that is a story for another time and place. Suffice it to say that, through it all, we have remained remarkably close and supportive of one another.
With regard to work, I am thankfully employed in the field of my studies, and to date have been rather successful in positions which are motivating and satisfying (for the most part!). The "University of Hartford" in my home page is a link for more information about the University. It is a beautiful campus in West Hartford, Connecticut. I work in the Division of Student Affairs.
I must admit that I have found gay men to be somewhat of a disappointment in terms of relationships. The stereotypes of rampant promiscuity and the inability to commit have, in many cases, proven to be true in most of the people I have met. But not all. The whole issue of sex and its meaning has been a struggle for me throughout the years. Elsewhere on this site is a page which goes into more detail about what I have learned in this regard.
Do I have a partner? Yes, there is a man in my life. I have been involved with a man named Mike, who has been my friend and companion since I left my wife. Without question, I love Mike. We have had more than our share of struggles in trying to define our relationship, each of us with our own personal issues to resolve. We went through many hard times, yet kept coming back to each other time after time. I have always hoped that this fact was an indication of something. It has been a story of misplaced hopes and trust, of misunderstanding and miscommunication, of constant definition and redefinition, and it has been very difficult at times. Over time, we have learned to reinvent the rules of relationships (having broken many of the traditional ones!). Yet we keep trying, and, so far, have persevered. I have learned that life is unpredictable when it comes to love. In the meantime, I'm out there, in Hartford, looking to meet a lot of friends! I'm a nice and friendly guy, willing to talk and to dance with just about anyone who is not a psychopath, so talk to me if you run into me!
Well, there you have it! A brief version of my life story. Perhaps I'll add more as time goes by, or perhaps you can e-mail me any questions you have. I'm frequently asked many questions about my life and my experiences. I've created a FAQ page which outlines these questions and my own personal answers to them. Click on the link in my homepage if you're interested!
Thanks for reading. I guess I'm kind of full of myself for even thinking that others would be interested in my life, but, hey…..it's free space!
Peace,
Matt