2. All people are homophobic to some degree, regardless of their sexual orientation. Gay people are frequently their own worst enemies.
3. There is enough diversity in Provincetown, Massachusetts, to make anyone feel at ease there, and this is a good thing. It is a credit to the Portuguese people who live there that such an accepting place exists on the earth.
4. Despite the threat of HIV contraction, many gay men continue to have unprotected sex.
5. Homosexuality is like one of those "hidden picture" puzzles. Some people never see it, but those who do can never look at the puzzle again without seeing the picture.
6. The world is absolutely LOADED with hidden pictures.
7. It doesn't matter whether it's a choice or not to be gay (though it isn't), and it doesn't matter if the cause is biological or environmental (though, in most cases, it's probably both).
8. Every time I see a straight couple holding hands in public I feel oppressed, except when I'm in Provincetown, when I feel that it is safe to do the same.
9. God does not hate me because I am gay. Neither should you.
10. Being gay is not unhealthy. Living in a world which doesn't accept it is.
11. A question: why is it that gay people are frequently blamed for causing so much harm to society when we are the ones who fear getting beaten up and killed?
12. Another question: when straight couples celebrate their tenth (or any other) anniversary, is it simply a celebration of ten years of sex between the two of them? Answer: of course not, because the relationship is about much more than that. Gay couples are the same. The constant focus on sex among homosexuals is degrading, dehumanizing, and offensive.
13. Sex among homosexuals is not offensive. Stay out of my bedroom, and I promise to stay out of yours.
14. History is full of examples of gay people's contributions to society. Even if it weren't, we would still have a right to exist.
15. Some gay people are real jerks. Too frequently, our entire community is defined by these people.
16. Why is it that a man in Rome who wears a dress tells me I can't be gay? (My apologies to the people I may have just offended, but I wanted to point out the irony.)
17. Being gay and getting AIDS are two different subjects. While I fear the risk and recognize the need for education, I don't like constantly talking about it any more than you would like to talk about contracting cancer. Similarly, I am not an expert on AIDS simply because I happen to be gay.
18. You make choices on a daily basis which either enhance or detract from my happiness and the happiness of every gay person around you. So do I.
19. "Gay" does not equal "happy." Isn't that ironic?
20. I don't hate or fear women, and both my father and mother were loving parents. I was not abused as a child, and I had no secret fantasies about any male member of my family.
21. I live a LIFE, not a lifestyle.
22. I don't recruit straight people to be gay. I do, however, encourage straight people to accept homosexuality.
23. If a gay man finds a straight man attractive, why isn't that a compliment? After all, it's not as if you HAVE to sleep with everyone who finds you attractive. If a woman found the same man attractive, but he wasn't interested, would he still be offended?
24. I still like it when women tell me I'm attractive.
25. Although it's very important, being gay is not the most important thing in my life. My children are.
26. Monogamy does not seem to be an important factor in many gay relationships, and this fact doesn't seem to impact the love between the couple. Call me a prude, but I haven't figured this one out yet. Maybe it's because I don't want to.
27. Not all gay men can dance. But I can! (So ask!)
28. Not all gay men can cook, or sew, or make FABULOUS floral arrangements. Not all male hairdressers are gay, and not all male interior decorators and fashion designers are gay (but I would suspect it!).
29. Not all gay men are effeminate. Sometimes this is because that simply is not who they are, and sometimes it's because they go overboard to act "butch." I avoid the latter.
30. Many gay bars are in the more dangerous parts of the city.
31. When you come out to people who you know well, most of them don't shriek in horror, faint, run away, or beat you up, but some do. Nevertheless, I would say it's worth the risk.
32. Gay men and lesbians don't have as much in common as most people seem to believe. Think about it.
33. (Tongue-in-cheek, and not entirely true, but true enough) If you're gay and attracted to a really nice-looking guy who obviously spends an enormous amount of time making himself look pretty, act like you don't care. He'll want you. If you totally ignore him, he'll want you to be his lover. It will drive him crazy to think he went to all that trouble to be disregarded. However, unless you're willing to keep the act up forever, don't count on a long-term relationship.
34. "Faggot" is a fun but terribly offensive term, with a horrible epistemology. I shouldn't use it, but I do.
35. Not everything I see in gay pride parades makes me proud.
36. Many gay people who display a pink triangle don't know it's awful history. As a symbol of perseverance, I'd choose the triangle; as a symbol of pride, I'd choose the rainbow.
37. I cried my way through Longtime Companion, had to seek therapy after Torch Song Trilogy, laughed my way through Jeffrey, and thought my way through Love! Valour! Compassion! (although there was a range of emotions for this one: laughter, sadness, anger, and--I'll admit it--even lust! Ramone is, I believe the word is, HOT!). I have yet to see Beautiful Thing. Many thanks to the gay men and lesbians who struggled before me for making it even possible for such movies to exist!
38. Some gay men have come close to turning "cruising" into an art form.
39. By being supportive of the gay community, Disney has not abandoned its commitment to family values--it has enhanced it.
40. I know a woman who won't take advantage of the domestic partnership benefits offered by her lover's company for fear of losing her job in her own company. Two steps forward, one step back.
41. A priest, in interviewing me for my annulment, found it necessary to explain to me that my children were still legitimate in the eyes of God. Thank you very much--I'd hate to be the father of my illegitimate children! I know he was only trying to be helpful. Whatever.
42. The same priest told me that the Roman Catholic Church would still accept me--even though I'm gay--as long as I didn't act on it. He likened it to a woman married to a disabled spouse. Right after I figure out the monogamy thing in #26, I plan to tackle this one.
43. I don't buy Cracker Barrel cheese because I believe they have anti-gay policies. I always buy Kodak film because I believe they are supportive of the gay community. I don't believe this will make much of a difference, but I feel better just the same.
44. Not all gay people are miserable and suicidal. It is possible to be gay and to be happy. I have to believe this.
45. I loved "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert." I hated "To Wong Fu."
46. Believe it or not, I'm gay and I have no tattoos, nothing pierced, and no dresses in my closet.
47. Drag: I still don't get it, but I love to watch it!
48. I still laugh at gay jokes. Maybe I shouldn't, but I do.
49. There IS such a thing as "gaydar." (Gaydar is a sort of sixth sense which aids gay people in identifying other gay people.) It is not always 100% effective, though.
50. I think everyone should see the AIDS quilt at least once in their lives.
**BONUS** Only ignorance allows one group of people systematically and institutionally to hate and to discriminate against another. When the truth is known, and a group is recognized for all a group ever truly is--a collection of individuals--then misunderstanding, ignorance, and fear melt away. What a world it would be if fear of another group did not prevent us from learning about one another, if fear did not protect our ignorance, if fear did not fuel our anger, if we stopped allowing ourselves to let fear prevent us from becoming the caring and nurturing people we could be.
Once and for all: none have to fear homosexuality. It has always been, and it always will be here. Harm has come to homosexuals from those who would have only heterosexuality, but homosexuals bring no harm to anyone simply by loving those of the same sex. There is no great "sin" in the simple desire to love.
Well, that's how I feel. If you disagree, then build your own web site!