| NEW STUFF
HOME NEWS |
CAUGHT! |
Day 9 ? |
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Two weeks of Bondage...
| NEW STUFF
HOME NEWS |
CAUGHT! |
Day 9 ? |
||
Two weeks of Bondage...
| This page is about the very absolutely most scariest part of bondage... | Thinking
in new ways! |
This is about long term bondage, and visions, and understanding. |
This
is why you won't hear much from me
for
another whole week!
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It's 3am here. Rob is asleep and j is at home and i've got things to say...Rob knows i'm up so it's ok. That sounds like something a slave would say, doesn't it? Despite the fact that i'm a little bit tied up right now i'm not really a slave am i? i'm just me, a slave at heart, but not really a slave. Sir Joe once called me a "wanna-bee" and i guess he was right after all. In a way the realization that i'm not really a slave kinda depresses me - until i think about what a slave really is.
We banter about many words in bondage and next to "Master" the word "slave" has to be one of the most popular. It gets confusing when we use words like that. We claim to be into bondage, and we're not. The real meaning of the word bondage is bad to the core. It means to place in restraints basically. That's not the dictionary deffinition, but it close enough. What we are really talking about is "Love Bondage" and that's a whole new ball game. Love Bondage means tying some one up for enjoyment - the enjoyment of both people.
When you've been tied up for nine days it seems important to make some distintions that normally would be overlooked. i'm guessing at this - i've never been tied up for nine days before, y'know?
As much as i hate to tell you all, i'm not a slave - not a real one anyway. As bad as that seems it's really a good thing. While it might sound romantic to be a real slave i'm sure that if you think about it you'll have to agree that it would be a pretty bad thing. Maybe that's what all the vanilla types get upset about...
So anyway, i just felt the need to state the obvious. i couldn't sleep because i have less than a week before the adventure closes down. i feel like i've learned a lot so far and since i passed day seven i feel like i am learning something big every day. i feel a lot more clear on why i have this fascination for the D/s side of Love Bondage. Well that's wrong again... (sigh)
i don't like to be the groveling slave. Hold on a minute, because we are talking fine distinction here. i do like to grovel (sometimes) and i do like to be the slave, the love slave. What is the difference? "The groveling slave" brings up conotations of someone being forced to grovel, they have no choice. i do have a choice. i have allowed Rob to tie me up and do anything that he wants to do to me during these nine days - or have i? Remember the thing where he carried me out in the woods and pretended to be someone else who raped me? i got kinda upset, didn't i? Rob was willing to stop my incarceration as soon as he found out i wasn't very happy. Like i've said before, the sub always has control of the situation (kinda.) If at any point Rob truely believed that i was unhappy then he would have stopped the bondage and hoped that it was enough to make me happy again. i really believe that and that is the reason why i will let him keep me tied up for just as long as he wants to.
i felt the need to share that with you.
Maybe i need to explain even that. The first six days went along the same vien as when j and i did this before - except it was a guy who had me tied up (and that makes a BIG difference in many ways, but i don't want to get into that right now.) Like before, as i approached the seventh day i began having problems with aches in my arms. They had been put in position not nomally used because my hands were tied, chained, or handcuffed behind me so much more than normal. It was to be expected - and Rob eased me through it as best he could. i talked about hitting the wall and then finally busting through it. At that momment i was well on my way towards the fabled "Stockholm Syndrome." That's a bad thing that can feel like a good thing. You are so grateful that no one is hurting you at the momment that you kind of fall in love with them. That's not a very good reason to fall in love, is it?
- i am NOT a slave, not a real one.
- i CAN be a slave - that means i am capable of doing it
- i CAN be accepted as a slave - that means i have someone who is willing to let me pretend to be a real slave to them (Rob.)
Being a free person IS better than being a slave and being able to be a slave, a love slave is better than being a free person because you have all the abilities of a free person PLUS the ability to be a love slave. Add to that the ability to be acepted in the role of a love slave and you have the zenith in love bondage anyway...Tomorrow when i read this again i may wonder why i spent my time typing out such drivel, i don't know, but right now it seems important. Maybe this will say something to someone out there who needs to hear it - that's what i'm hoping for...
Ok, you have suffered long enough. i have some really really really great news - BUT i can't share it just yet. i'm waiting on permission (as a free person pretending to be a slave and respecting the privacy of another free person - who just happens to be a Master - Love Master, i mean. Stay tuned and maybe i'll be able to post it tomorrow. You are absolutely gonna LOVE it! Something really really really special - did i mention that you are going to love it? Well you are!
Kisses
shevette
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ps: i will TRY to keep a diary of this event. i already know that i will may not come out of this singing like a medowlark. i know because i've been able to do this before...
