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KIDS! i asked for some articles from different people to see how they deal with the kids or how they think they would deal with the kids. i'm getting married and i thought this was something to think about... Here is one of the responses i got... Here's a letter i got from our site friend, BK99. BONDAGE AND THE KIDS

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Dear Lady Shevette,

An interesting question you propose. What to tell the kids if they should happen to wander in while Daddy has Mommy squirming in a tight hog-tie? It's a question I've thought about from time to time myself.

The simple answer is to do what my parents did when they were alone: Lock the door! However, that doesn't deal with the long range question of how, or if, you introduce the concept of bondage to the kids. Let me say up front that I don't have kids and I don't claim to be an expert in raising them. I can only refer to my own childhood for such matters.

However, if I had kids, I wouldn't hide it from them. I've always thought that the more open and honest you are about things with your children, the more well adjusted they become. If you find your son playing cops and robbers with his sister and has her tied to a chair, don't freak. Make sure they understand about safety and let them play. If one of the kids spots you and Rob indulging your bondage cravings, explain that you're just playing. They'll understand. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for.

After puberty, though, it becomes a whole different ballgame. From personal experience, I know that any affinity with bondage becomes linked inextricably with sex the moment puberty hits, at least for a guy. If your child has felt comfortable with playing bondage as a child, he or she will probably continue such feelings as a teen. But it's up to whoever instructs that child in sex to reiterate safety and to impress upon that child not to take advantage of a bottom sexually. If, on the other hand, your child hasn't demonstrated any affinity with bondage before puberty, but shows it afterward, you absolutely must make that child understand that he or she isn't freakish or perverted. This society has such negative attitudes about such things that it can severely inhibit or damage the social or sexual growth of a child if he or she feels bad about feelings that child can't help having.

My first memory of responding to bondage was at age 4. I have comic strips with bondage scenes that I saved that predate my puberty. But my feelings toward bondage were never encouraged or accepted by my family. My father gruffly dismissed such feelings as "weird". My sister saw bondage as inherently demeaning to women and anyone who liked it a potential sexual preditor. My mother might have understood, but I never had the courage to ask. As a result, I thought for years that I was some sort of sick freak and hid my feelings away and it only got worse when I hit puberty and linked bondage and sex in my mind. It was only in the last fifteen years, when I got away from my family and on my own, and I discovered through books like John Willie's "Sweet Gwendoline", magazines like "Bondage Life" and web sites such as this one, that I wasn't alone in my feelings and that I wasn't corrupt, I was finally able to accept myself for what I am. But I lost a lot of time and a lot of opportunities for happiness in that period.

Because of this experience, I would never discourage bondage play in my children. Instead, I would be open and honest about it and always teach them that, if played with respect for your partner, it can be a hell of a lot of fun. And teaching kids how to have fun is one of a parent's more enjoyable responsibilities.

I hope this helps,

BK99

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