DON'T FIGHT!

Not a time to
fight!

Sometimes you fight the good battle and sometimes you've got to know when to pull back and rest up....

This is a letter from a long time visitor and friend of the site. We had been discussing things bondage when i admitted that i was approaching burn-out - not burn-out from bondage but burn-out from all the things i had been trying to get done - after all, i am only one slave, right?

Here's the first letter where he asked about some work he had requested:

Hi Sir Xxx!

Dear Master Chris' slave shevette

I'm starting to wonder. Have I done anything to annoy you?

Heavens no! Gee whiz, why would you ever think that?

First, you haven't published my story, second you haven't answered my request regarding help to redecorate my site.

Oh! ...i mean besides that? Giggle

The story: i think it was great and i'm very flattered that you took the time to write it and send it to me. i am also flattered very much by the fact that you thought of me. It gives me a very warm feeling way inside. In case i didn't thank you before please let me thank you now. It was a very sweet (and erotic) thing to do, thank you.

Redecorating: Hmmmm... something i'd love to do and i do owe it to you - but time is my enemy! i could promise to do it, but i don't know how long it would be. i don't know why but i don't seem to have the time i used to have. Recently i have gone a whole week without checking mail - and i love the mail i get! i don't know what's wrong - tho' i have a sneaking feeling that i'm approaching burn-out...

It's understandable if it's lack of time, which I flatter myself by hoping. But if the reason is that you don't like my stories, or my approach, please tell me so. Maybe I can change, maybe I can't, but at least I'd know.

It is me, Sir, not you. You are still A#1 in my book! i need to reread the story but from what i remember it was well done and definitely erotic.

Oh wow this sounds a bit bitter, but I'm not. I really love your stuff and ways, but... I realize that you get alot of mail from alot of people and I don't believe I'm better than any of the others. It's just that when you answer I get the impression that you like our correspondence and then suddenly you "disappear" for some time.

That's my fault. i'm afraid i've been doing that to everyone lately. i think the key is my drawings. i have to do a particular number of drawings as i receive a certain amount of bondage. When things go fast i get frustrated because i can't draw the things i need to illustrate and when things are slow i'm drawing so much that i can't write. i think i need someone to discipline me! May perhaps that is why i am a slave. i don't mean to be bad...

Just help me to sort this out so i can start pleasing you, or if that would be the case, stop irritating you.

You never irritate me, honest! Please me? Tie me up and torture me until i am a puddle on the floor....

By the way, I've proposed to my girlfriend, and she agreed! Hope you have had as wonderful a time and got the chance to rest and play.

O'm'gosh! Sir Xxx is getting married! Wow! That's wonderful Sir! i am so proud for you! Ahhhh.... i really envy your girlfriend..... (sigh) Oh, i so happy i could cry! Best of wishes. Yas!

i guess i just have to do those pics now - as a wedding gift! Will there be a bonding ceremony too? Public or private?

Send more info on what you want for the pics AND your URL in case i can't find it and i'll get busy when you do, promise! If i don't then you can spank me!

Yours Jxx (name maimed)

Happy kisses
Master Chris' slave shevette

This is the reply he wrote to me...

My dear Master Chris' slave shevette!
Thank you for your reply. I'm relieved for my own matter, but concerned about you.
Let me tell you a little story about myself... I'm a doer. Or at least I've been. I've been doing lots of different things all the time. I 've had work that has taken alot of me, the last ten years or so I 've been managing other people with all the responsibility that comes with that.
In short I've been very active, able to do more than twice what others do. But the last year I have been lacking my inspiration. I've been tired all the time, and I've had problems finding out what I really wanted to do. I simply didn't know anything that felt fun anymore. I mean i could name things that would be fun to do, but I didn't feel it inside... no feeling of longing or lust.
And then the other things... I lost my sense of proportions. My perspective... I couldn't tell small from big. Anything I had to do felt huge. Every small detail felt very heavy. I felt i was out of control, hunted all the time.
Unfortunately I am a survivor that succeeded in hiding this. I locked it all inside me, trying to wait it all out. Only my closest friends saw what was happening, but they couldn't reach in... I waved them off, smiling making jokes...
My stomach has been chaotic for the last ten years or so, my heart has been performing double beats. I've been almost unable to sleep. And it all accelerated this autumn.
My hands started to go numb, my shoulders felt like tensed steel wires, my chest felt like the muscles where three sizes small for my ribs, I felt like suffocating from trouble to breathe... and so on.
Finally I reached a point where it felt as if all the strings that keeps a human together, body, soul, will, guts, feelings, everything snapped. It was awful. I was driving my car down the highway and had to pull over, sitting there crying for more than half an hour, Then I got myself together enough to let my girlfriend into the drivers seat. After that I fell asleep for what felt like the first time in months.
Now I'm glad it wasn't a heart attack, and that I'm still alive, but I'm only a fragile shell of what I used to be. I realize that I have to change a lot of things in my life if I want to get back to an active and happy life. If I don't change... I'll die in heart attack or similar...
I got quite a scare and I still after three months feel very tired and very weak. I was only sick at home for a week, because we had to cut down staff in the company where I work and I felt shit not being there then.
Anyway, what I want to say with this letter is that I know some about burn out.And it's no game. If you fell you're heading towards one. Break. Now. What ever you're doing, is not worth you loosing your life or your capability to live it, and that is what is likely to happen if you don't take care.
I write this, 'cause I like you a whole lot and I think I know a little about the burden you carry. I wish I could say I didn't want to scare you, but the truth is I want to scare you. Not to make you feel uncomfortable, but because I want you to change your life if that is necessary. I want you to turn in time, before you hit the wall, because I know from my own experience, and from the doctors who have battled me and from some people I have met the last few months that burn out is hell and the way back is so long so long.
Take care.
How ever, I will post some photos and sketches for you if you feel you can take the time to draw things. But I beg you, if you don't feel you have the time, let the next mail wait. Don't let it press you, cause i really wouldn't want that.
Yours Jxx (name maimed)

Rest! Yep, he's gotten my attention! i can see what he is talking about coming. i'm still in good health, but in order to stay that way i know i will have to slow down. i guess i would already be burned out except j keeps an eye on me and has on several occasions tied me to the bed so i would have to rest. i'm not claiming to be a dynamo, but i run about as fast as i can at just about all times. Remember this when you write, i may not answer right away or sometimes not at all. It's not because i don't appreciate the letters i receive (quite to the opposite, i love all the wonderful mail people send me), it's because i am only one slave trying my best to do as much for the net as i can. i am driven to promote bondage!

i want to publicly thank this man. i will find a balance and for those of you out there who are burning the candle at both ends, please heed his advice.

i am thankful for his advice and all the good advice i have received from everyone. i am thankful that i am a slave with so many people to guide me. i feel truly blessed and i will do those pics and all the other things i have been doing - only a little slower...

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