|
02/29/2004 Previously, I had written much about my early thoughts and Erika's coming to being, her development, and how my feelings had changed from a "simply" a crossdresser to straddling, if not crossing, the line toward transsexualism. Today, I often still feel I'd rather live my life as a female. However, I've become more comfortable with living the dual life I currently am. That is, living/working as a male while having as much fun as possible as Erika when the time allows. I've come to realize, at least at this time, that a transition would be very difficult - if not impossible. Sure, financially a transition is difficult not only with regards to the money involved in a transition, but the good likelihood of losing my job in an industry not very conducive to accepting females in high positions - and potential future under- or un- employment. But, my relationship with my family is far to important to me to put them through the pain if I transitioned. These thoughts are not typical of most transsexuals who feel the undying need to transition regardless of loss of their jobs, family, and friends. So, I probably should classify myself as a transgendered male who would LOVE to live life as a female, but is not currently in so much pain of living as a man that I MUST transition. Could that all change? Possibly. But, for now Erika will just have the time of her life when she can! |