"Hello, are you gay?" , is not something I am liable to go up to someone and ask. I hope you don't either, unless you want to get slapped for your trouble and become a social pariah. So how do you go about finding people who have similiar interests?

It's certainly not easy. You can go to places where there are more likely to be people who aren't offended by the question. Visit gay bars or hang-outs, local clubs or groups associated with alternate lifestyles. The people here are at least more tolerant. Does that mean they are gay? No. Are they more likely to be? Possibly.

Even then, how do you proceed? Well, unless someone is blatantly "out of the closet", it can take a little investigating. There is of course, the infamous "gaydar" but even that is not fool-proof. The solution is very simple and unfortunately often overlooked, especially in our heterosexual society where the pick-up line is king. You get to know someone first.

Say, "Hello." Make nice. Be friendly. Find out who this person is and if you WANT to get to know them better.  There is nothing wrong with old-fashioned courting and flirting. You can often find out if the person might be interested or not without being abrupt or offensive. At the very least you may save yourself heatache. You may even make a new friend. Who couldn't use a few more of those?

Someone you know is less likely to be put off by your advances, even if they are not interested. A foundation of friendship can also lead to stronger and more fufilling relationships. Even if you are not looking for a relationship, you might want to get to know the person you might be jumping into bed with. It's just a suggestion. :-)
 
 

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