Heather invited her mother...  over for dinner. During the meal, her mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Heather's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of Heather's sexuality and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two women  interact, she started to wonder if there was more between  Heather and the roommate than met the eye. Reading her mom's thoughts, Heather volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Suzy and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Suzy came to Heather and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the  beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do  you?"  Heather said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter  just to be sure."

So she sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you  'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, Heather received a letter from her mother which read: "Dear Daughter, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Suzy, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Suzy. But the  fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now."

 Love, Mom

Why can't lesbians go on a diet and wear makeup at the same time?
You can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face.

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