Is bisexuality the same thing as promiscuity? NO! Many bisexual people are involved in monogamous relationships. It may be with a man or with a woman. A bisexual person can even abstain from sex. I know; I've done it. Bisexuality is not defined by the relationship or relationships a person is in. It is not defined by the relationships a person has had, either. Bisexuality IS defined by the attraction of an individual to members of both sexes.

Sometimes I feel a little wierd. I am an open-minded, sexually adventurous female. I have permission from my partner to see whoever I wish and to do whatever I wish. We are not swingers, but we know, in the long run, that we are not what the other needs. I have this freedom, because:

1. he is my best friend, not my boyfriend or husband
2. he trusts me to play safely
3. he trusts me to be honest with him
4. he wants me to find what I need
5. he expects the same freedom in return

I have had several lovers, my share of one-night stands, and the sexual confidence to do whatever pleases me. I have no problem if my current lover is seeing someone else, provided he also follows the rules above. Of course, we decided this before our relationship started. I would not be so understanding if my girlfriend/ boyfriend/ husband, suddenly decided they wanted to see other people. I am a dedicated creature.

I do however face a conflict from time to time. My current lover is wonderful. He is my best friend, great in bed, and I care about him a lot. He is male, though. I often fantasize about taking a woman lover, or even having a woman join us in bed. I don't know if I would really want the latter, but it makes a great fantasy. I want a woman to make love to and he is encouraging me to find one. So why am I having such a problem?

Maybe, I just haven't found the right woman. I could probably do it, could probably handle two lovers. I have before. Part of the reason behind this exception is that my second lover would be a woman, not a second man. It makes a difference to me. I probably couldn't see two women either. I think it is a matter of them meeting different needs.

I would not see having a male lover and a female lover as being unfaithful. I would be faithful to both of them. I would not start a relationship with a man or woman who would not be comfortable with a preexisting relationship. If the partner I was with, wanted to have an exclusive relationship, I would not seek out another.

Ideally, I would like to be the center of a triad. A little selfish of me, I know. I believe in the concepts of polyamory and think it could work, but it always comes down to the question of theory versus practice. I agree with it and it could work, but could 'I' do it?

I guess that leaves me, knowing what I want and trying to find it... SWF seeks.... *laugh* Really, I hope to find a woman who is willing to put up with me and that we could be happy together.
 

Note: For information on Polyamory, please visit the links page.
 
 

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