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Part II - Paradise
July 1997 - December 1997 |
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- Jul 4th
- Independence day. Arrival in Sydney. I gave myself a cheer as I drove across
the bridge.
- My sister, her boyfriend and another friend where having a party when I
arrived. There was alcohol and various other substances, but I was tired and
just used liquid stimulant. Some other friends of theirs turned up and it turned
into a BIG party. I was tired and half joined in. One of the friends sat and
talked to me for at least an hour about what I was going to do. At first I
thought, "How many people has my sister told?", but then I thought, "Hey! Why
does that matter?" and just got involved in the conversation.
- Jul 5th
- Making appointments. I went to see a local GP. He wrote a referral to a
shrink. It was rather amusing, because he wrote on the note that I was
distressed about my condition. Rubbish. He was distressed, I was calm.
- I can't get to see the shrink until the 19th. This means I can't get to see
anybody else either until that date. I will spend the time having a bit of a
rest.
- I did go to the registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages to find out about
changing my name. They said to come back in three months, because that's how
long I had to be an N.S.W. resident for.
- Jul 19th
- The shrink. I decided to not hold back. I didn't want to talk too much about
the past, so I gave him the potted 30-40 minute talk about "why?" I'm doing
this. He listened to me and made some notes. When I had finished he asked me
some questions:
- Q: What will you do if I say I won't help you?
- A: You and I both know I'm serious about this. I didn't make this decision
blithely. I'm an intelligent adult and I fully and completely understand what
I'm about to do. I won't be discouraged if the first person says 'no'.
- Q: Do you understand about the surgery? The loss of some functions.. Did you
know that 40% of surgery causes an inability to orgasm?
- A: Yes on both counts. I also know that there are surgeons elsewhere who
claim over 90% success rates.
- Q: Are you prepared to forgo any serious relationship and possibly sex for
two or more years?
- A: (Smiling wrly) I have so far..
- We stared at each other for a little while and then he wrote a referral note
to Professor S. I rang him and to my surprise he had a vacancy on the 20th.
- Jul 20th
- Went to see Professor S, supposedly the top endocrinologist in N.S.W. I went
in and sat down. He took the referral and read it. He then asked me a few
questions. I really began to think that this man might take away my hope if I
answered wrongly. We chatted together for about ten minutes or so. He then told
me to get undressed and lay on the table. He then proceeded to examine every
part (And I do mean *every* part) of my body. He had the bedside manners of a
bull walrus on steroids. I felt terrible at the end and sat meekly while he
pulled out a pad and started to write. I just sat and looked around. He then
handed me three scripts and started to tell me stuff about them. I was only half
listening as whole focus in my life revolved around these little bits of paper.
I actually had the authority to buy the magic. I felt humble, scared and elated
all at once. I walked out of the place after giving a blood sample in a trance.
I wanted to jump for joy and tell everybody.
- Of course I raced around to the chemist and I thought I was going to faint
when I finally had the little box and pill bottles. The chemist was very kind.
She asked if they were for me and when I said "Yes", she looked at me and
smiled. A really nice smile. I could feel myself squirming with eagerness.
- Home and the big moment. My sister and her boyfriend were in the kitchen. I
picked up a glass of water and said "To a new life!" and took the pills. My
sister gave me a big hug.
- Aug 12th
- Finally I've cracked and bought a PC. I refuse to run Micro$haft rubbish, so
I lashed out and bought a copy of RedHat Linux. After a lot of fiddling around
with video cards and CD drives, I now have a machine and got on-line to the
'Net. First stop was to send email to a dozen or so people to give them my
e-address. It's my belated birthday present for Kims Birth Day.
- The first thing I used it for was to write a long letter to my aunt, uncle,
K and A. I told them how much I loved them and how much I needed
to do this and hoped that they would still want to know me.
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