TOP TEN FRIVOLOUS LAWSUITS BROUGHT AGAINST AOL

America Online is the target of more criticism than ever since its
decision to adopt a flat rate plan. What with the unilateral 
decision to enroll everyone in the higher basic rate and the interminable 
busy signals caused by people staying online longer, the Virginia-based
online giant is ticking people off...and sending them to their 
lawyers. You've heard about some of the lawsuits that are flying at Case and
company, but here are some that you may have missed:

10. Malicious littering of magazines and mailboxes with sign-up disks.
9.  Negligence in allowing Microsoft and Prodigy to beat them to a 
flat monthly rate schedule.
8.  Cumulative psychological trauma brought on by the relentlessly
    cheerful "welcome" message.
7.  Coaster Advisory Board claims unfair competition.
6.  Woman in Florida sprains shoulder hurling AOL disk into trash; 
sues AOL for medical bills.
5.  The official portrait of Ted Leonsis is culpably flattering.
4.  Mental injury caused by the tedium of Steve Case's monthly letter.
3.  Permanent tinnitus caused by modem signals that AOL software 
won't let you mute.
2.  Failing eyesight and wrist strain caused by unrestricted chat 
room access.
1.  Mental distress caused by discovery that Trixxxi in Flirt's Nook 
was really a man.