WTC announces

CARMELA SOPRANO APPOINTED FIRST CHAIRWOMAN OF THE WTC GOVERNING BOARD; CIVIC LEADERS "OUTRAGED"

WEEHAWKEN, NJ (September 27, 2002) The Weehawken Theatre Caravan announced today that Carmela Soprano, wife of the famous local waste managment executive Tony Soprano, was appointed the first Chairwoman of the WTC Governing Board, a position she will hold for 10 years. "The Sopranos have been great friends to me since my troubled days in Atlantic City, and I'm glad that Tony wanted Carm to have this position" said WTC spokesman Cotton Eye Joe. Local civic leaders who have violently opposed this move, calling it "outrageous," spoke critically of Mrs. Soprano and her husband calling them "dirty, WOP, gangster bastards." No matter, most industry analysts feel that this decision was a no-brainer due to the added revenue the Soprano family can bring to the struggling WTC Spokesman Cotton Eye Joe with new WTC Chairwoman Carmela Soprano at the announcement ceremony in the Weehawken headquarters of the WTC

Theatre group as it hopes to build a new theatre space. "Let's be honest -- we're really struggling just to make ends meet. Mr. T wants his own cart, Bob (Denver) wont show up unless we provide 8 bottles of Evian water at every f***ing rehearsal and we've got all those goddamned legal bills from the Travis Ligue incident to pay for. Plus we want to be in our new theatre space before the spring musical. We need cash, dollface. Tony can make life a helluva lot easier for us. You tell me -- where the hell else are we gonna get it?" asked a WTC source who spoke on condition of anonymity. Get it they will -- word on the street has it that with this appointment (and the undisclosed capital he has invested) Mr. Soprano will hold a 51% stake in the WTC. "You know what this means," a local civic leader added, "forget Shakespeare -- they'll be doin' nothin' but 'Tony and Tina's Wedding' for the next decade."