TG Humor

When I first drafted this home page, I had a pretty heavy tone. Discovering or at least deciding that one is "TG" is definitely heavy and coming out to say it is scary. For me, it was scary both to ackowledge to myself that I have some gender issues that won't go away and to say so on the web, because there are still plenty of bigots out there who hate and want to harm people who do not fit certain molds. If anything, we TGers are mold breakers, or at least we've been fashioning interesting new molds.

All that aside, I'm a funny guy (hey, I heard that--I meant I like jokes) and I think the TG world is just as full of humor as any other, so here are some tidbits I've come up with. If I inadvertantly offend anyone, I apologize now and also ask that you take this in context and realize that I'm not attacking you. And after all, until genders blend a lot more, a male wearing contemporary female clothes will always be fodder for humor.

You May Be a Drag Queen

Shamelessly borrowing from the comedian Jeff Foxworthy (who is actually paid to be funny and often is to boot), the Verdeville Transgender Institute has compiled the following list of symptoms that may indicate that you are a drag queen. This list is the result of exhaustive research and countlesss interviews. (And I'm Daisey Fuentes' cuter sister.)

If any of the following are true, you may be a drag queen...

You know your dress size.
You remember the difference between Memorial Day and Labor Day because you can wear white after only one of them.
You understand Ally McBeal.
You look at a centerfold of a gorgeous model and wonder where she got her shoes.
You recognize that the clothes on the Home Shopping Network are ugly.
Your SO tells you about a sale at Macy's but gets the dates wrong and you correct her.
You intentionally get in the slow line at the supermarket so you can leaf through Vogue and Cosmo.
You hear about a drag race and wonder how they can run without breaking a heel.
You hear a reference to Attila the "Hun" and wonder if he and MacArther had more than the military in common.

Limerick(s)

Limericks are a poetic form that just won't die and for good reason. In a smattering of lines you can tell a joke and have it rhyme too. I've enjoyed writing them over the years but only recently decided to turn to TG themes. I'm sure this section especially will grow.

She's an Amazon down to her toes.
And she wears the most stylish of clothes.
Yet it isn't her dresses
Or the cut of her tresses
That I note, but the length of her hose.

Joke(s)

This may be by far the lamest part of this page and that's why it's at the bottom. If I've kept your interest this far then I figure you're desperate--otherwise, you'd have surfed on by now. But since you're still here, the least I can do is try to keep entertaining you.

An old fart needs to replace his television. Accustomed to being frugal, he responds to an ad in the local want ads. Several hours later, someone knocks on his door. He answers the door and is shocked to see a pair of transvestites, each dressed to the nines. "Can I help you?" he manages to mutter. "I hope so hun. You responded to our ad for black and white TVs, so here we are."