Check out archives:
- One; From the beginning to April 6,1998
- Two; April 19,1998 to June 3, 1998
- Four; August 3,1998 to the October 12, 1998
- Five; October 12,1998 to December 23, 1998
- Six; January 1,1999 to August 22, 1999
- Seven; September 19, 1999 to Feb 11, 2002.
-Eight; Feb. 24, 2002 to present.
Back to Ryan's Rant of the Week
June 6, 1998 June 16, 1998 June 22, 1998 June 30, 1998 July 8, 1998 July 16, 1998 July 22, 1998
Well I finally found a topic for this week's rant. Actually my mother: Carole Fea gave it to me yesturday when she and my father stopped by to say howdy. Now it might seem out of character for me to say something like this but I sorta' half believ this. You know how heterosexual people are always saying "Those Gay people, why do they want special rights?" And the gay community is always replying with "We don't want special rights. We want equal rights!" Well I've decided that I want special rights.
I don't just want to be able to get married to someone that I love and get tax breaks. I don't just want to be able to walk down the street holding hands with my boyfriend (if I ever have one again). I don't just want to be able to go to work and have an open ineraction with my co-workers and not have to worry about being fired. I want more, that's right I want it all baby!
"More?" you say. What else could I possibly want? I want the special rights that heterosexuals have now and I want them not to have them when I do. That's what I want. I want to be able to beat the living daylights out of a straight couple just for walking down the street and get away with it. I want to be able to open a business and only hire gay people and if a breeder does happen to sneak through the interview I want the right to either harass or fire them without severance pay. I want the right to see movies, tv shows, commercials, and all other forms of media communication be from my sexual orientation's point of view. I want to see the definition of a family be exactly want I think it should be: "a man, his husband, and their children just as the good Lord intended...Halleluia!" I want to be able to get away with insulting hets in comedy acts and in the presence of friends and family. I want the right to get away with that because its just the normal thing to do. I want the right to tell my friends and aquantances "Hey, my sister is straight! Get off of their backs man, heteroes are people too! Some of my best friends a heteroes. Well sure I think that a heteroesexual has the right to work but they shouldn't be allowed to raise their own children. What if the kids ended up just like them? Or suffered humiliation and teasing in school because their parents were opposite sex? Its just not natural...I mean I don't understand it; why would a man and a woman really want to do that sort of thing together anyway?"
Those are what I want just for a little while. Maybe a week or so, well I think we could stretch it out until about a month but then I would start feeling bad for those poor oppressed heteroesexuals and we'd have to give them equal rights. Cause you see like some people, and I think most other queers will agree, I don't like to see anyone suffer. What I can't understand is why the heterosexuals can. Anybody got any idea what they're thinking. Probably like "its always been like this." or "Well its just easier for us this way." that's the one that I think is the case. They get away with stuff that they never would if people saw each other as equals. And hey if they need to feel better about themselves by oppressing us I say "FUCK YOU BREEDERS!" Either treat us with respect and equality or we're going to have to take over. And then you can be the ones that have parades and straight pride weeks and have special presentations in exclusive theatres.
Well that's this week's rant. Was it too militant? Special thanks to my mother for giving me the idea. She rocks!
My e-mail is ryan_fea@hotmail.com
Have you ever turned to someone that was talking about problems in the local gay and lesbian community group and said "I don't want to be involved with this. I don't like getting caught up in politics." Have you ever stopped to think that this is a sign that you don't care much about yourself? I mean don't "politics" in the community and the world at large affect you too? Sure you aren't getting hurt right now by a problem in the community like gossip or discrimination or imbessalment by an employee of a local non-profit. But you know what? You stand a good chance of being affected by it eventually. I promise you that.
Now I say that because you'll have to pay higher taxes to compensate for the loss of funds or your reputation will be hurt by the gossip or you'll get called a racist or sexist name by someone. If it isn't you it'll be one of your friends. Like your best pal will get barred from the community center because they asked too many questions. You might have to see a youth group suffer without a qualified leader because an applicant was of the wrong ancestry. You may see people who you thought of as friends feel alienated and leave the community for good. These are just the local and direct ramifications of your staying out of the "politics" in the community.
Think about the extremes in this scenario. Imagine that the local community center has to close because its lost funding and governmental support because of the unchecked imbessalment. Or if gossip and racism in the community causes someone to become so overwhelmed by distress that they commit suicide. The same can happen if the youth group leader is not properly trained to deal with self-esteem issues for adolescents. An improperly treated youth can very easily become depressed, hopeless, and suicidal.
This all because you didn't want to get involved.
Think about all of the heterosexuals out there that don't want to get involved in politics and speak out against the descrimination against gay and lesbians. That job that you didn't get last year or the fear that you have holding hands with your significant other in the street that's because of people that don't want to get involved in politics.
My e-mail is ryan_fea@hotmail.com
Have you ever noticed that, in our modern contemporary North American Society, in order to be considered a role model someone has be beyond reproach? Morally, ethically, in character and in action. We must be someone that has no faults or at least visible ones.
Isn't that strange. The people that we all want to be like have to be free of imperfections. Something that we all have but don't want to admit. Even if we have traits that aren't really faults or imperfections we do have the little habbits that aren't considered the best of behaviour that we don't want anyone to know about.
This of course passes onto our role models. Either we do it by denying that they have them, or not allowing them to let us know. Or they take it upon themselves to cover it up. This is a very dangerous thing to be going on. If our role models, the people that we are trying to be like, are perfect then we're under an extreme amount of pressure to be perfect too. This can cause great losses in self-esteem and confidence when we realise that we aren't perfect and that we will never be perfect.
Since there aren't many role models who will admit to being simply human we have continued pressure to be like them. This is really stupid. Like no one in polotics, or religion, or parenting has ever done something inappropriate. Please!
Does anyone out there think that all priests are really celebate? Or that all poloticians are honest? Or that every parent is responsible? Yeah right! I mean really. Okay here's an example. Every week people seem to be turning to this page in order to read my little words of wisdom. Now if you can spell you already know that I am not perfect but there's more. Now I am not going to list out every way that I am bot perfect but I'll give some examples. For instance I tend to ramble once in a while. Oh I also tend to complain about things from time to time. I also am very self conscious about how I look. I am constantly checking my hair and washing my face and fixing my hair or talking about my hair or how I look. I'm sure its very annoying. I also forget to call friends from time to time, and I tend to take my own sweet time updating this rantings page. Hell, if you've read my personal growth page you know I've had a really hard time dealing with the relationship issues in my life.
Well, now that you know I'm not perfect I suppose you won't ever read this page again right? I think you probably don't really care. But I'm still writing and you're still reading. Gee I guess people that we listen to and sometimes even look up to don't have to be completely perfect. And maybe that means that we don't have to be perfect either? Huh. If some of the role models in the world knew about this they might live easier lives knowing that they don't have to hide so much of themselves from everybody.
Well this rant has been about role models and since I'm writing it I guess I'm trying to play a role as a role model so I'll give to suggestions that you might want to apply to your life...if you want to its your choice.
The first is don't put so much pressure on yourself to be like that perfect guy or gal down the street or on t.v. because they probably have just as many little imperfections or quirks about them as you do.
The second is really if you think that you might end up being ashamed of something in the future don't do it in the present. What's the point of doing something if you'll just regret it later. Think it through. Try considering if you'd be able to tell you mother or best friend about it afterward. If you can well good then you can live with it. If not maybe its not right for you.
My e-mail is ryan_fea@hotmail.com
Well tomorrow is Canada Day and there are many things going on. Did you know that Canada Day is July 1st? Well you do now. We here in Canada do feel a certain level of pride about where we come from and the divesity of our nation. I myself take a great level of pride in sayong that I am a Canadian.
The great thing about a Canadian is that no matter where I go I will always be from a country that is considered to be one of the best places to live and one of the friendliest in the world.
I am equaly proud that this week is Gay and Lesbian Pride Week here in Saskatoon. It took some doing to get it started a few years ago. Many peopel had to work there asses off just to get the city council to accept and endorse this event. But they did it and I thank them for it.
I think that the Pride Week Day in The Park being on Canada Day this year is great. We can help to celebrate the diversity that Canada is by celebrating the diversity of the Gay and Lesbian community here.
Now Canadians are rather subdued in showing pride in anything when you compare them to most other countries. But we are proud. Sure we aren't so blatantly obsessed with our nationality as say the Americans seem to be but we do love our home land. Personally I think that we of all countries have the most to be proud of. Many of the greatest inventions in the world have originated in Canada. The U.N. Peace Keeping Force, fiber optics, Disney's Toy Story, good beer, basketball, many advancements in medicine, the best hockey players in the world, the fastest man in the world, and the further development of friendliness. Not to mention the word "EH?"
Now I think that we should get down and boogey. Party our brains out and shout it from the mountain tops "We're here! We're queer! And we're Canadian, Eh!"
There should be a great cry for pride in our nation and celebration that ours in not a melting pot nation. Ours is a country where differences and diversity are the basis of our society. Now I don't mean to diss the states with that melting pot statement, but we do have many differences because of our view points on diversity. There does seem to be an affect on the populous. We are renouned for our kind and friendly nature. I think that Dennis Leary pointed that out in an act that I've seen him do many times. "Anyone whose that friendly...there has to be something up."
Now I think that there should be a little more pride shown about that difference from the states. I do believe that if you look hard enough you can find historical recounting of the one and only war that occured between our two countries. Now unfortunately for the States we won. That's why they don't teach it in the schools there but we did (apparently) set the White House on fire a while back. The government of Canada has been asking for ideas for images of Canada's greatest moments for a year 2000 coin. I was thinking about sending in a drawing of the White House burning nut I didn't. That would have been rude, eh? Although that would make up for our flag being hung upside down at the world series a few years ago. No we didn't forget about that.
So no offense to any other nation but I love being Canadian. Canada rocks, eh! The other countries of the world are nice too though.
My e-mail is ryan_fea@hotmail.com
I have what many would believe to be a running joke with a friend of mine about taking over the world. Whenever we talk about it people seem to react like its a fun and entertaining concept. This has gotten me thinking. Shouldn't it be taken a little more seriously when people talk about taking over the world.
Sure its a grand concept that would be nearly impossible to accomplish, but still the idea of one or two people dictating the future of an entire planet is really quite frightening. Its happened before when the world was less complicated that the fate of whole civilizations were decided a very few people.
Really that's what's going on right now and no one seems to mind. I guess that's because we feel like we still have some input into what happens. But do we really? Elected officials rarely pay any attention to our requests once they are in office. The multinationals never listen to the demands of the people. The internet is slowly, but surely becoming the main source of information and comuncation that we have. These are all indications that we as individuals are losing our "vote" in what happens and our fates are being placed into the hands of people that we don't even know. People that we'll probably never meet or even know their names.
My plan for world domination is quite simple. I intend to let people get to know me and who I am. Then I'll simply ask them if they'd mind if I ran the world. Usually people say they don't mind because they know that I would be open to input and suggestions. But, you know, after a while I might not listen if one or two people say that they would have a problem with me running the world. Sure at first I'd right off the objection of those who simply have a problem with gay people. Saying that they are just blinded by their bigotry and don't see the abilities that I have in public administration. Then I might get a little more rationalizing saying that they just don't know me well enoughto write off my claim to power. Then people who voiced a strong objection to my rule would start disappearing one by one until I have eliminated all those that oppose me and I rule the world with an iron fist.
Its happened before. I mean Hitler didn't get many objections at first. He was well liked and most of those that gave him his initial start thought he was well qualified and quite stable. Then he got a little power hungry and people started to die. That was when the rest of the world stepped in and he was out.
Now a days though, people might have a little bit of trouble ousting a dictator who rounded up all of the weapons and took over control of the world's armies. And since I would lay cliaim to comtrol over the internet...in a good way (not being pushy but a nice and benevalent net master) I would then control everything. Including the little machines that you do your banking with and pay your bills and pay for you last trip to the mall with.
You see I've thought this through and I don't think that anyone would really mind me taking over. But that would be up to you of course. What do you think? Should I take over?
My e-mail is ryan_fea@hotmail.com
The tale of a slacker:
I would like to take my space this week to discuss the topic of slacking off. Yes the fine art of doing absolutley nothing and getting away with it. Oh I realise that you think that this is a pretty funny topic but really its not.
Slacking off is an important factor in our modern society. We have to each take our turn slacking off every once in a while or else we'll burn out. I say this not by my own standards but by the modern contemparary north american standards. You see according to our society you have to be productive all the time...unless you're slacking off. That's when you get a break. You've heard it "Oh you're taking the day off? You slacker!" Of course the fact that you haven't had a day off in ten years doesn't have any bearing on the title of "Slacker" that has just been so loveingly place on your head.
I myself preferr to slack of as much as possible to make up for all the work I get done when I actually do something. Sure I wait untill the last minute to do my papers and the APA style of writing ends up poor. But the writing style is always praised. And there is always a comment about "Good Insight" and such. So I may not be able to quote other people all that well but man can I give a catchy title and a bit of thought to something.
You see the art of slacking is 90% relaxation and 10% rationalization. Once you've done the slacking off you have to make an excuse for it. You can't get away with it unless you have an excuse. "I can't lift that I have a bad back" Or "Sure I didn't do it but I didn't have the materials required." Or I had a previous engagement. Those are only a few of the many excuses people will use to get out of something. The classic being of course "I have a headache." That one applies to so many of life's little avoidances.
My favorite excuse to not do school work is that if I actually applied myself I'd make others look bad by bringing up the class average so drastically. It almost makes it as a good excuse since I get above average grades by just attending class. Of course I could do the same by not attending class reading the text and showing up for exams but I'm a people person and I thnk that student loans requires me to show up anyway. So what the hell.
Anyway I don't feel like writting any more....I mean I'm developing a nasty case of tendonitis so I should stop typing now.
My e-mail is ryan_fea@hotmail.com
This week I want to revisit a topic that I covered in my first ranting, which unfirtunately I deleted before creating the archives.
This weeks topic is a pox on the gay, lesbian, and bisexual community. Gossip... This is the nastiest of all forms of internalised homophobia, when it comes from within the community.
He said she said games of mud slinging and slander have torn far too many people out of our community. Especially in Saskatoon. People talking about others that they hardly know and usually are just jealous of. I know its happened to me one too many times.
I want to relate my personal experiences with this vicious part of the community. When I fisrt came out I was 18 and pretty. (I have to admit that I have always felt that I was attractive, but I'm not just a physique). So of course I was considered fresh meat like most young and recently out people. I was persued by several merely because of my looks and a couple for my confident nature.
I was an 18 year old who was unafraid of conversation too. I was comfortable talking with my friends in the local cafes about anything. This, of course, quite frequently included the topic of sex. So I was, of course, labeled a SLUT. Not because I was having sex with anyone...since I was a virgin until I was 19 and a half, but because I was comfortable talking about it so I must be doing it. I would go somewhere with friends and go for a walk with someone that needed to talk or go to visit a friend at their place and all of a sudden its all over the place that I'm having sex with them.
I considered this to be an example of mass internalised homophobia. The assupmtion that all gay men do is have sex and are unable to be just friends with anyone has been something that the gay community has condemed the straight community and religious right for ever since the gay rights movement started. This however doesn't stop us from doing exactly what we wish they wouldn't do. It is homophobic to think that all gay men are incapable of controling their labidoes and yet the gay community does it all the time.
We can't even get away from this vicious system of information mutaion in the gay health service industry. For example while I was volunteering for the local gay and lesbian health services working on the youth group leadership team, I started dating a guy from outside the group. Please note that he had had nothing to do with the group before meeting me. I had asked him if he'd wanted to come to a meeting. He said sure. This was after we'd already been seeing eachother so he and I had a good raport during the meeting. We didn't announce the relationship during the meeting so people thought that I was flirting with him. This bothered some members of the group...especially when they saw us out for coffee the next day and we were being quite friendly.
So instead of asking me about it members of the group complained ot the Executive Director of GLHS that I was using the group to get dates. The executive director was of course conserned, which is logical (would you want someone to use your yuouth group just to get dates [I wouldn't]) so he brought up the concern that I was a sexual preditor at OPY (Out and Proud Youth). I asked him what he was talking about he told me that I siad to have picked up my then current boyfriend at OPY.
This of course bothered me, so I informed the ED that I had brought my boyfriend to the group. That I could see much better ways of finding men than volunteering for a youth group for two years and that I was offended by the accusation. My boyfriend was a bit uncomfortable with going to the group for awhile after that. I told the person that filed the complaint that he was being ludicrous and obsered and that the next time he wanted to accuse someone of anything he should ask the people involved before jumping to a conclusion.
The very idea that an attractive young gay man has such little control over his hormones is insanely homophobic. Sure I talk about sex a lot. Everyone does. But does that mean that we're doing everyone that walks by? No! Not that its anyone else's business if we are.
I have to admit that I am not pure and inoccent in all of this. I have spread the occassional piece of info on someone else but its been a long time and usually it was osmething that they told me they didn't mind haing spread around before I said it.
Rumours and the back stabbing that comes with them hurt individuals and the community at large. If everyone has to worry about every little thing that they say or do then this world is swiftly approaching a serious problem. I don't believe in keeping secrets but I also don't think that we need to document and colour commentate on other people's lives. If you want to document someone's sex life ask them about it. Or document your own. And if someone tells you about something don't go assuming that there's more. Not everyone holds back on details. I know I usually don't unless its about my feelings.
Speaking of feelings. Have you ever thought about how you would feel if you knew that someone was saying the things about you that you just said about your community's cutest guy? Or that guy who gets perfect grades but whose looks don't measure up to your standards? Or the girl that just can't dance to save her life? Or the waitress at your favorite cafe?
Gossip...let's cut it out or just start keeping computer files on everyone and judge them once a week for princess points.
My e-mail is ryan_fea@hotmail.com
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