The early years: 1997-98

Some people find it hard to believe that I'm recently out, but the truth is that I only admitted to myself that I'm gay in June of 1997. I had run from the truth for a long time. I tried to hide in the church and kept myself too busy to think. When I got the time sort things out, it was a rather startling discovery.

The first month, I was as close to suicidal as I've ever been. I was having a terrible time reconciling who I am with what I believed. I didn't see any way out, but I'm glad I stuck around.

I spoke to all kinds of people on just about every side. Some were discouraging, and some just perplexing, but most people were really encouraging. Wonderful people and happening up on Mel White's Stranger at the Gate may have saved my life. His story made me laugh and made me cry. It didn't reconcile my loose ends, but it did help me know I wasn't the only person in my predicament. I highly recommend it.