Hmmm..I have had a good day with a large plop of clarity entering in my brain. Its interesting how perception becomes what we want it to be when none of it really happened...I am trying not to berate or yell at my self for being the biggest fool on this planet..and so far i am ok..but when you hurt someone including yourself by being such a misunderstood ass how do you forgive..i am trying to do that by remembering and going on..All i can do is not repeat the past. and then hope those i have hurt including myself forgive me and go on...:)