War Is Hell!

If there is one trait common to GIs, it would have to be War Stories. We all have regaled our buddies, friends, spouses, siblings, and just about anybody within earshot with our heroic exploits. "There I was..." or some familiar refrain signals the beginning of such a tale, which normally grows with the telling. Here at the TG NCO club, we have a special place for the telling of tall tales. So if you have any war stories with a transgender connection, share them with us. Send them by e-mail to SSgt Tina.

Pantyhose on the Flight Line

When I processed in to Minot AFB in North Dakota, I was issued a lot of cold weather gear. I got long underwear, heavy wool socks, a parka, bunny pants, mukluks, arctic mittens, and a facemask. As I would soon find out, all of this stuff was not adequate to ward off the extreme sub-zero prairie winds. That's when I discovered the secret defense from cold wind: pantyhose. At first I didn't believe it. When the guys told me about wearing pantyhose I thought it was one of those rookie pranks they were so fond of, like sending the new guy for a spool of flight line and a gallon of jet wash. But I soon saw that they were serious. The guys would wear pantyhose just under their thermal underwear. I was finally convinced that they were serious when I saw a bunch of the guys standing in line at the BX holding L'eggs. I was advised to get some before the dependent wives bought them all. So I got about 6 pair of tan sheer L'eggs. (Queen size, of course). My first night on the flight line with pantyhose was all it took to convince me. I was a whole lot warmer. Of course, I enjoyed it for other reasons as well. I wonder how many other airmen were enjoying their pantyhose for the same reason I enjoyed mine. Now if only I could have found an excuse to wear a bra or some lace panties! Submitted by SSgt Tina

SRS for Canadian Forces

Submitted by Brianne Tina, as promised, here is the article about the CF (Canadian Forces) plan to pay for SRS surgery from The Maple Leaf, one of our national military publications. * * * GENDER REASSIGNMENT SURGERY APPROVED The military has made a precedent-setting decision to cover the costs of gender reassignment surger, on a case-by-case basis, under the CF medical plan. Although he could not comment on a specific case, Col. Scott Cameron, a general practitioner and Director of Medical Policy at NDHQ [National Defense HQ], said that gender-reassignment surgery, more commonly known as a sex-change operation, is widely accepted as an effective medical treatment for those who suffer from gender identity disorder. The disorder is a rare medical condition found in one in 30,000 men and one in 100,000 women. "We spend thousands of dollars each year treating other psychological disorders like depression. This is no more a voluntary condition than being depressed is voluntary," said Col. Cameron. He explained that after the surgery, most patients function well in their new gender, adding that the military benefits because it retains a trained member. He said the cost of gender-reassignment surgery, which runs between $20,000 and $30,000 [$CDN], will not impede the provision of health care services to military members. "We always have, and always will, provide medical care to our members regardless of the expense." Seven out of ten provinces now pay for the surgery. However, military personnel are not covered by provincial health insurance plans. "We have to tailor our benefits to those of the province. Our members should not be at a disadvantage because they are in the military," said Col. Cameron.--- * * * Well, this is definitely a precedence-setting move, however, reaction has been negative at best, which is to be expected. In letters to the editor, most complain about the lack of coverage for laser treatment for nearsighted personnel. Kind of comparing apples to oranges, isn't it? I don't know of anybody who suffers from depression and lack of self-esteem because they were nearsighted. But then, most military personnel I've met weren't exactly enlightened on the subject of gender dysphoria. See ya! Brianne Tara Tina comments: I don't know if this is properly a War Story, but it certainly deserves to be told.

Now this is no shit!

It was 1977 and I was on my first WestPac on a fast attack submarine. We'd been at sea and under the water for 48 days, had been doing something that was extremely stressful involving another sub from a (now defunct) foreign power and had achieved an overwhelming success. It was time to celebrate, so a "beauty contest" was announced. Each division was required to enter a contestant. Now generally the most junior member of each division was coerced into "volunteering". There were several people in Engineering who were more junior than I, but Engineering had won the last four contests and was determined to win yet again and the consensus was that I would have the best chance of taking the crown. I resisted, for form's sake, but was actually eager to do it. Of course I already had sexy lingerie and my own make-up... on the sub, haircuts are NOT required while at sea, and I hadn't had mine too long before we even left port, so I was able to get a fairly fem style by combing everything forward and curling it with hair gel. Being electricians, we had access to the sound system and a strobe light...so when my turn came, the lights went out, the music started, the strobe came on and there I was in my bra, garter belt, nylons and panties. The music was "The Stripper", and I bumped and ground through the entire song to cat-calls, wolf whistles and shouts of "Take it OFF!" The honor of Engineering was upheld that day. In presenting me with the crown and scepter, the captain remarked "This was the best beauty contest ever, the only thing that troubles me is...where did the lingerie come from?" Fortunately, that cracked everybody up and I didn't have to answer. I don't think the Captain was really TOO worried though. He sat me on his lap and didn't let me get up for a half an hour! Loree Thomas

This is Petra Cumming's story about her own experience with transition in the Canadian Armed Forces.


The Canadian Armed Forces will pay for a members SRS only if that member is already a member, meaning that they will not pay for a TS who joins while in transition. The person must already be a member before being diagnosed with gender dysphoria and beginning transition.

My own experience with the process was a little frustrating. Even before they approved funding I had already started asking questions about how the Forces would handle it. I did this through the Zenith Foundation, with no reference made to my name. The letters received back were very vague to say the least. That was close to 4 years ago. I waited and bided my time until I couldn't wait any longer and came out to my superiors 2 years ago, before the announcement was made about funding.
My superiors and the medical staff involved were very helpful and supportive. My lieutenant arranged for me to see the appropriate people, and made sure that it was kept under wraps for the time being. My Medical Officer (MO) was also very helpful, and stated to me that she would help me with any problems that may arise from me being transsexual.
Getting hormones and even seeing a gender clinic was excruciating. It was a while before I went to a clinic, and the Forces never did prescribe the hormones. I had to pay to see a civilian doctor in order to obtain them. In Canada medical coverage is paid for by the provincial governments, but in the Forces we are not entitled to it. Ours is supplied by the Federal govt. The Base Surgeon waffled on the issue of hormones, much to the dismay of my MO. On November 7, 1998 I received a phone call at home from the Ottawa Sun newspaper. They wanted to interview me for an article. The next day we did it and the piece was printed Nov 9th. Now everyone knew, and I no longer had to hide. All the squadron officers had an information session that morning on what was happening, and informed all the members of my decision. I was quite pleased with the way they handled it. Many members were quite shocked that I, of all people, was transsexual. Apparently more than one jaw dropped. After the info session a few came up to me and told me that they thought I had guts, and one said to me that I was the bravest person he met. Many though would not even look at me, let alone talk to me. No one ever verbally or physically assaulted me, but I know a few people were ticked. Had I not had health problems (my back), and others I would have stayed in the army. I enjoyed it, and it was part of my life for 13 years. I know that my short time "out" at the end also changed a few people's perceptions of the transgendered. More than a couple have told me that their views changed after having a better understanding. As one Master Corporal told me, "You never really appreciate a situation or understand it until it happens to you or close to you."

Submitted by Laura. 

I have lots of the 'no shit' types, mostly related to the Gulf War, but lots of folks have those. Rather than play bar-room one-upsmanship, I've got an ironically funny tale of military life. It always cracked me up when the folks in my unit would get talking about gays in the military. They would rant and rave about 'compromising the mission' or 'destroying morale' or 'hurting military readiness' IF they let gay folks in. What I found so funny was how pervasive it was, right under their noses. It all started when I was still pretty green, an E-2 at his first assignment not more than 4 months out of basic training (I tested out of my tech school). We were living in co-ed dorms (isn't the air force great?), and I had made it a point to get to know some of the girls living upstairs. My TS feelings hadn't crystallized yet, I just knew I wanted to be friends with the girls more than most of the guys. Anyway, one of them had gotten pretty drunk a few days earlier and admitted to me that she was very attracted to the girl who lived across the hall from her. I was surprised but understanding and I later realized that her confession would in fact become a pivotal moment in my life. Back to the story- my roommate was dating another of the girls upstairs. It was a brief fling on both their parts, and one night they both came up to me and said they wanted to break it off, and could I help them tell the other person. My roommate said it was because he wanted to date someone else, but she said it was because she was really a lesbian and was only experimenting with a guy for the first time in her life. I was surprised that she had confided in me, but she just said that she had heard that I was easy to talk to and understood that sort of thing. Well, it turned out that my drunken friend was spreading it around that I was comfortable with the gay thing, and very soon I was a friend with every queer folk within 60 clicks. It was a great crowd, very tolerant, liberal, and fun loving in a place where intolerance and pig-headedness ran rampant. What really struck me though were the numbers. My unit was about 200 folks. I personally was a friend with not less than 8 people who walked down the gay side of the street. That's about 4% - not a big percentage, but a whole lot more than the 'none' that most of the rest of them assumed. Don't forget that this is just gay folks. Crossdressers kept an even lower profile, but I know there were a few. So now you're wondering, what's the point of this odd little tale? Well, that didn't come for another year or so. We all know about the rampant abuse of alcohol in the lower military ranks. Well, one of my colleagues had driven his BMW up an embankment while intoxicated, and the First Sergeant was calling in several of his friends to ask about the party he had attended just prior to his accident, including me. He asked me if I thought the airman in question drank a lot. The answer was yes, but I hedged with the reply 'Not any more than anyone else in the dorm.' We ALL drank alot. The funny part came a few hours later, at a gathering of 'family' me, their token straight (little did they know). We were talking about the interview and speculating what would happen to the guy, when someone piped up that it was a good thing they didn't ask me if he was gay (he wasn't). In any case, my reply would have been the same: "Not any more than anyone else in the dorm!"

Submitted by Nyssa.

In 1984, I was attending technical training at Keesler AFB (Biloxi MS) and I volunteered to work at the in-processing section. One of my duties was to meet the bus with the new trainees and escort them to their temporary barracks. As I was locking up the office one night, I found an extra bag of luggage which hadn't been claimed by any of the new trainees. I took the bag to my room (as luck would have it, I didn't have a roommate at the time) and went through it to find out who was missing their clothes. As I opened the bag, it was obvious that a female Airman was missing her uniforms. After further searching, I was able to determine which Airman the uniforms belonged to and what base I needed to send the bag to in the morning. Since it had been awhile since I had been en femme, I couldn't resist the temptation and selected a blue uniform blouse and skirt. I was ecstatic that the uniform fit and posed in front of the mirror until I realized that the CQ orderly would be making his rounds soon. I reluctantly undressed and put the uniform back in the bag. In the morning I sent the bag on its way and now I look fondly at my first experience as a female Airman. An interesting note was that the CQ orderly room had a board where they would post the uniform of the day. After the in processing squadron got transferred to the squadron, the right side of the board listed 'uniform blouse and skirt'. No one seemed to notice that the board made no mention of sex, so technically anyone could wear the uniform.

Submitted by Nyssa.

My next adventure as a female Airman came about when I was stationed at Ramstein AB (Federal Republic of Germany). A female NCO that I admired always changed into civvies at the end of her shift and left her short sleeve uniform blouse, neck tab, and skirt hanging in the office. During my shift I would go into the office to write the daily reports and would ensure that the door was locked securely. I took advantage of the situation and stripped out of my fatigues, put on panties and hose that I bought at the BX, and finally would put on her uniform. I would also pull out a pair of pumps out of my backpack that I bought in a German clothes store. For the next couple of hours I was in heaven and didn't mind having to write all those reports. I fantasized that the military had changed and I was allowed to live my life as a female Airman and loved my new job as the office secretary. I eventually was allowed to move out of the barracks and found an apartment in the German town of Rodenbach. Since the conversion rate was very good at the time, I began frequenting the German stores in Landstuhl and started my feminine wardrobe. I got bold one day and went into the military clothing sales and bought my own uniform. In the rest room, I marked the skirt hem length and turned it over to the tailors shop. When I got the skirt back from the tailors, I brought my new uniform in to work and was delighted that I could wear my own clothes while doing my office work.

Submitted by Nyssa.

While stationed in Texas, my life as a female Airman became more important me. I bought lots of feminine lingerie and wore it under my fatigues. One day I would wear a camisole and tap pants set and on another I would have on panties, hose, a bra, and a teddy. There were several occasions when my supervisor patted me on the back and I was sure that he could feel the straps under my uniform. Each time this happened, it would be weeks before I tried it again.

Submitted by Nyssa.

My Pentagon tour is when I became comfortable with being a female Airman and tried to incorporate Nyssa into my daily life. I plucked my eyebrows, shaved my legs, and manicured my nails. I got rid of all my male underwear and began wearing panties on a daily basis under all my clothes. Whenever I felt the need, I would select a bra from my dresser and wear it under my BDUs. At first I was afraid that someone would notice something wrong with my uniform and I would be outted. Instead, I found that the BDU was great at hiding the lines from view. There were several occasions when I sat in my female friend's office in my feminine best. When my best friend didn't notice the change, I got conformable with my feminine self and stopped worrying that I would get caught.

Nyssa has informed me of an article about CD's in the service. I am adding a link to it here.

http://www.tgguide.com/Library/bbs/cdinserv.txt

 

This was submitted by Joney, who was court-martialed for crossdressing.

I will tell as much as I can, but my case is still in appeals. It was just accepted for review at the Court of Armed Forces Appeals. I hope they overturn most of it. Otherwise, I will have to sue the Army in Federal Civil court for wrongful prosecution. I hope it does not come to that. It will be very public if it does. I was a victim of a politically motivated witch-hunt from the highest level. My former boss was Gen. Hugh Shelton, who was being considered for Chairmen, which he is now. I will write more when I feel like typing a several page report. You can see an abbreviated and edited story in my bio. I will write more when I can too. Until then, keep in touch. My case is in appeals and anything I say will not effect it, but I'm waiting to put out everything when appeals end. I hope they will correct most of the conviction. We shall see. I don't want those still on active duty to be affected by it as the military cross referencing anything I say to them. The witch-hunts still continue. I will answer questions from anyone. Hugs, Joney Joney sent me this update. Today, my conviction was upheld by the Court of Appeals for the Armed Forces. Despite the coached testimony, witness tampering by the OSI, and possible command influence, the five civilian judges, most whom served in the military, upheld my conviction and dishonorable discharge. I have found that no TG legal or political organization is willing to help, as they weren't prior to my court martial. I can't figure out why I could expect a court to over turn an military ruling, despite the obvious truth. I guess I will remain forever, a convicted child molester. Being a TG has cost me a lot, but I will still continue to help others the best I can through Cross Dressers Anonymous (CDA) and Trans Gender Expressions, and of course, my web site. Feel free to ask me any particulars. I am now free to speak out. Hugs, Joney

Submitted by Samantha

I was a Hospital Corpsman stationed at the Bethesda Naval Hospital in the late sixties. I had had an affection for feminine attire since early childhood and had always been in the closet. My new wife knew nothing about it as I was sure that marriage would make it go away. One day my wife was away I dressed in her clothes (alas, the days when I could fit into them!) with makeup. First time dressed in a long time. She came back early and saw me. She went berserk - screamed and cried - complete hysteria. I might add that as I remember she was dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt - go figure. Anyway she decided to leave me over that one incident. I talked her out of it with the understanding that I seek psychological help. A Navy shrink - yeah right, I thought. I figured they'd throw me out. That's what they did with homosexuals back then - the proverbial section eight. I was straight but I didn't think it would make any difference. I went to a Navy psychiatrist who just smiled and after getting assurance that I wasn't gay told me that it was no big deal. That it was to quote him, a "quirk in my personality" and was of no harm to anyone unless they made it a problem. Just keep it secret from the Navy. He said they'd toss me. He also said he'd like to see my wife. I had wanted her to go with me the first time but she insisted that it was my problem - not hers. She refused to go and did not accept his evaluation. We never got along after that even though I promised not to dress. I continued in secret and never got caught again but we divorced several years later. When I got married again later on I didn't inform my new wife because I had such a fear of potential problems. She turned out to very supportive and we now make a great team - but that's another story. I'll bet that psychiatrist was a rare breed for the Navy both back then and now.

Submitted by Kathy Louise Silvestri

I was king of the "homesteaders" as they say. Except for West Berlin (87-90) and TDY missions, I seldom wandered far from "Home of the Airborne"! I worked about half my career on the "green" side and the other half on the "dark" side in Spec Opns. This enabled me to "hide" from the assignment branch...LOL! Jewel of all was living in West Berlin during the end of "The Wall". Ms Kathy loved it there!

Submitted by Elizabeth Medina

Ok this is a somewhat tragic story that I would rather not have to tell! However, It is relevant to the military/TG experience. I have always been aware of my transsexuality, even if I did not categorize it as such until fairly recently. By 1990, at age 23, I had become aware of the trans community, had visited a new shop catering to TG's, and had a small collection of transgender Tapestry magazines. I took two of these with me the plane to Georgia in August 1990 since I figured it would be my only connection to the TG world. In November, with Desert Shield soon to become Desert Storm, drinking and last minute partying was a weekly affair - heck, it probably would have been that way in any case, but the uncertainty of the future made risk taking even easier (I'm sure most here can relate.) Anyway, on the way home from a bar, I saw a TS street worker. I knew sex was a risk, but I was excited by the chance to be with a t-girl sexually as well as to share my secret; we did both. I was elated... until a few weeks later when I got a strange and bad flu and began to worry that I might have caught something. Fortunately, I was not tested for HIV again the military since they had done that in August, but when I came home in February I did test, and did learn that I had acquired HIV that November night. I said this is a somewhat tragic story because HIV has caused much grief over the last ten years in the friends I've lost; but still, I am healthy and I am in a position to be able to help other HIV positive trans women. Interestingly, I have met other HIV positive ex-service members. One gay male I know was a commander in the Navy! Such a small world! P.S. If you are dealing with HIV issues, you can write to me - I will respect your privacy and must do so by law since I work at an AIDS agency. :)

Jane Cox sent me this wonderful story.

Here's a true story which was related to me about 15 years ago by a retired gentleman. He would have been in his 70's at that time and departed this earth about 7/8 years ago following a stroke. I'll call him Ron. I met Ron through a business neighbour, SJM, who would join me for morning tea each day. Ron would visit SJM every few months and would join us for a cup of coffee. He was a jolly chap who had obviously been a larrikin in his time, and always had interesting stories to tell. On one particular day, Ron was telling us about his exploits during the Second World War. He was in the Australian Air Force and stationed at Darwin in the Northern Territory. Apparently, the Americans had personnel at the base also, manning bombers which would conduct bombing raids on Japanese encampments in nearby occupied islands. I can't remember the type of bombers he mentioned, but they were of the type with machine gun turrets fore and aft. He commented that it was not an enviable job to man these turrets, especially the rear turret in which the occupant was "washed out with a hose" if he was unlucky enough to be shot. He didn't have any problem volunteering to man the rear gunner's turret on occasions on bombing runs. I'm not sure whether he did this with the consent of the bombing command, or whether he would exchange places with the rear gunner in some clandestine arrangement. He commented gleefully to me "I liked the rear gunner's turret because you could shoot at the bastards on the way in, and you could shoot at them on the way out also!" You may wonder why I am relating this story to you. Well, one day during morning tea, Ron sat with one leg crossed over the other, and you know how the leg of your trousers rides up to show your socks. Only his trousers rose up just above the top of his socks and I could see he was wearing patterned pantyhose beneath his trousers. I didn't say anything, and he didn't notice that I'd noticed. I was firmly entrenched in the closet myself at that time, so the thought to discuss the matter of crossdressing with him never entered my mind. He was a truly beaut bloke and I miss him. Regards Jane Cox Perth, Western Australia

Here's a cute story submitted by Christine Beatty.

Before I knew I was transsexual (1985) I crossdressed fetishistically, including in the barracks in 1979. At "Willie" the barracks were a single roommate situation, and at one point mine was on a different shift: the perfect opportunity to climb into something lacy and see-through. However there were two occasions when he returned early from his shift. Two occasions where the sound of his key in the lock inspired a sufficient adrenaline burst to drag the chest of drawers in front of the door, peel off my lingerie and stuff it in the locker, and pull on some shorts and a T-shirt. Both times he believed my story about the odd relocation of the dresser. Thank Goddess I hadn't started wearing makeup at that point!

This story was submitted by Nikkie Michaels

no shit, there i was.... i was in a little bar in seoul korea on new year's eve. and while i am chattin with a bunch of my army buddies (i was in a hot little black dress and skyrocket heels) and of course many of those buddies were gay. so i spy this super cute (alas, stunning) brunette over in the corner on the other side of the bar! well, i have always been attracted to girls (as most of us are) and i am super gregarious so i watched her for a few mins and then went over to chat her up. as i got a little closer, i lost a little of my nerve cause the closer i got, the more spectacular she was. so out goes my hand and i introduce myself to her and low and behold, another officer in the us army! a BOY officer! hey, needless to say we were friends from that moment on! aint the whole world just so tiny and fun. part two of the story is that later we attend the army birthday ball and we are in black tie (boy uniforms of course - rats) and as i am standing there, these three lieutenant colonels walk over to me and my friend and say hi nikkie and marissa! holy crap! who are these guys using THOSE names! well, guys we party with on occasion in town but not so frequently that we knew them by name - nor the fact that they were field grade officers. i have found that the military is actually quite tolerant of the GBLTG community. the last comment i would make is that if you enjoy this side of your life, get out there - outta the house! the whole world is your oyster and you wont understand how wonderful it is until you are accepted for who you are. in my many years of partying enfemme, i had two gentlemen be rude, both of whom apologized after i chatted with em for a while. you go girl!

This war story is submitted by Katie D.

Here is one story from my past it is mild compared to some I have read. I swear to God this is a true story, and could provide dates and locations. First off I knew I was a female or wanted to be since about age 4 off and on. I had hoped that the military would get it out of my system. Little did I know I had joined the new Air Force. I was stationed in New Jersey back in the late 70's early 80's. Where I was stationed they had no barracks, so we were all put up in apartments in town. There were less than 100 of us assigned to the place. The apartments were furnished two bed room two bath with a cute little kitchen. I would have apartment mates on occasion but most times I had the apartment to myself. I was a dumb Airman and came out to a few of the people I worked with no ill effect. I think it was all so natural and they seemed to except me, I never tried doing any dressing at work. Of course my underwear came from the female side of the store. At the time the military was big on the golden flow drug tests and had bigger fish to fry. The don't ask don't tell issue had not truly started yet. Well there was a female airman that lived a couple floors above me. She knew about me and used to help me dress so we could go clubbing together. She was sort of butch and would dress like a guy when we went out. I could shop right across the street at a shopping mall and I had a lot of clothes. Of course I had to be careful where I kept my pretty things hidden at. I purged prior to getting assigned to Korea. It was so great to have such an adventure at my first duty station after tech school. I never got kicked out for being a female in a guy's body and retired at 20 years. Now I don't cross dress . . .. I got rid of all the guy clothes a few years ago. Tee Hee

 

 

Submitted by Marie Jessique:

I joined the military very young; My recruiter was very desperate, and I had just finished High school 2 years early. I served proudly but with youth came foolishness and got myself banged up a lot, which gave me service-connected VA benefits. I began transitioning, when a friend who was a vet (and ts as well ) told me that she was able to get some stuff done at the VA. and so I went, started seeing one of their shrinks, and they provided me with a very good treatement program through transition. I had a very good rapport with my endocrinologist, but he was curious of my past military background...I convinced the billing office to allow me to get an orchidectomy if I paid for all costs...

The big day arrived and there we were with the anesthisiologist and staff....my endo was also in the surgical staff and he was doing a good job of calming me down as I am terrified at the sight of needles. My endo walks up to my side and says in front of everyone, " ladies and gentlemen, the Army did an excellent job of making an outstanding young men out of this person ; we are here to undo the damage".....with those words ringing in my ears, I fell under the effect of the sedatives...

P.S. that was many years ago, but I still use the VA as my primary care providers---wouldn't trade them for any HMO out there.

Submitted by Dawn:

I dressed off-and-on for the 20+ years and, like most of us, I hid it from the military, my wife and my kids. Why hide it? I was the typical jock and Big Man on Campus. I had an image to uphold. Little did people know that the images that danced in my head were of me in skirts and blouses instead of fatigues. Strangely enough, my dressing became an issue that cost me my CIVILIAN DoD job. A secretary saw me out in a club and immediately informed the wing commander.

Updated January 25, 2002 

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