Chapter
3
Preparing
for Stage
The rehearsals continued on schedule and I was happy with the progress I was making in my role as Shakuntala. I must clarify one thing though.
Although, I am a female impersonator by profession, I am not gay. I have always loved being male and loved only women. I am also not transgendered. I just play female roles on stage. At home and everywhere else, I am completely male.
A week or so before the play, during the daily rehearsals for achieving a feminine appearance, Krishna asked me to sit on my shorts while she examined my body very closely.
“What are you looking for?” I asked her. “Hair” she said. She wanted to make sure that I was not hairy in any way. Luckily I was not, so it was ok.
“But,” she said, “Remember this – a woman does not display any hair anywhere on her body except on her head. I was just making doubly sure that you were completely hairless”.
By now, the entire play had been practiced nearly a hundred times in school and I knew the dialogues by heart.
Krishna wanted to get some voice training done to me. Although, Krishna had not been on stage, she was intelligent and imaginative enough to be able to judge what would make me look and sound convincingly female.
She first asked me to recite a few of my lines of dialogue. A few minor corrections to my intonation, stress points and the note on which I spoke brought a complete change to my style of dialogue delivery. My teacher noticed this immediately the next day and complimented me for it.
Krishna also wanted to know how many scenes were there in the play. There were essentially three scenes – one where Shakuntala met Dushyant, the second marriage scene and the third where Dushyant and Shakuntala are seated on their throne.
That meant that I needed three sets of clothes – one that of an unmarried lass, one a bridal ensemble and one a regular saree blouse set. Krishna did not want me to change too many blouses during the play. She suggested that I should go for a black blouse which I could wear for the first unmarried lass scene and then the purple coloured blouse in the bridal scene and a turquoise green blouse in the throne scene. The advantage she explained was that if I wore a black bra that day, it would be invisible under all the three blouses. A white bra would have been visible under the black blouse in the lass scene.
So, the next day, Krishna arranged for a black bra of my size. When I reminded her about the other two blouses, she said, “Don’t worry! All that is being taken care of!”
Two days before the play we were to start a complete dress rehearsal. I had to be in full costume for the rehearsal. Vijaya was also asked to be at hand to attach my hair, although I would not have full makeup. I would however have some basic makeup like bindi and lipstick. Vijaya was concerned from one other point of view – time.
The first makeup session had taken nearly 30 minutes to put on. She wanted to make sure that the change from the lass make up to bridal make up was significant without requiring much time – after all it had to be done during the play itself.
The dress rehearsals went well except for one or two mistakes I was persistently making. Frequently my pallu would leave my breasts exposed in a very un-lady-like fashion. Krishna noticed that and told me to take greater care about. I did not know how I would remember.
After we returned home, Krishna had me change into my costume again. I had worn a saree so many times, that I could wear it all by myself now. When I adjusted the pallu to cover my breasts, Krishna told me one secret which women employ to know if they are indecently exposed – the use of air currents.
When a midriff is exposed, then any breeze that may be present is felt on your skin there all the time. She said, “If you feel the breeze anywhere on your body, then you know that you are exposed there. So if your pallu is improperly positioned, then you would immediately know that you are exposed. Use that to your advantage”.
One other thing she taught me that day – something which I was going to use many years later when I played a coquettish character on stage. She took a necklace and put it round my neck. Also before pinning the pallu to my blouse on my shoulder, she tugged the middle part of the paalu ever so slightly so that the middle portion which passed directly between my breasts was tighter there than that part near the edges which passed over my nipples. As a result my breasts were more prominently defined. She said, “If you are a very modest or shy girl, then you will not do this. You don’t want every man to stare at your breasts like he’s never seen it before!”
On the day of the play, I woke up very early. I could not really sleep well that night. As soon as I had finished my bath, prayers and breakfast, I joined Krishna in her room. She had already readied a small suitcase in which she was placing all the clothes I would need for the play.
Right at the bottom went the Saree, matching petticoat and blouse for the throne scene. Then the clothes for the bridal scene. Then all the jewellery and then the clothes for the lass scene. Finally on top of everything went the black bra, the wig, hair piece and a hair dryer. (Krishna had paid a princely sum of three hundred rupees to Vijaya to purchase the wig and hair piece for me.) The make up articles were to be brought by Vijaya.
The play was scheduled to start at 4pm. We were to meet in our home at about 1 pm to start my elaborate make up. I was to be fully dressed for the first scene from home itself. For the other scenes, I would change in the green room. As such there was much excitement in the school because word had spread about my extensive preparation for the play.
At about 11 am, Krishna called me to her room. She had me strip to my shorts and once again she looked my back and chest closely. She looked especially above and below my navel for any hair. I had a few hair slowly starting to grow above and below my navel. She went to her cupboard which had a number of cosmetics and pulled out a small cardboard carton from which she pulled out a pink bottle which had a lotion of some kind. With a spatula which she had stored in the carton of that cosmetic, she applied it on my skin around me navel where the hair was most grown.
“What’s that?” I asked her. “Hair remover” she said. “What does it do?” I asked. “Removes hair, stupid!” she said.
“How does it do that?” I asked. “Just watch”, she said somewhat mysteriously.
After a few minutes of silence, she went once again to her cupboard and returned with a few pieces of cotton. Using the cotton, she wiped the cream clean from my skin. To my utter surprise, I found all the hair had come off with the cream! I asked to look at the bottle. It was my first introduction to “Anne French” – a well known brand of hair removing cream in India.
Now my tummy looked just like a girl’s. Next Krishna pulled out a few bottles of nail polish. Holding them close to my hand, she chose one of the bottles and kept the remaining back in her cupboard. As per instructions given three weeks earlier, I had let my nails grow. She took a nail file and shaped them to a beautiful almond shape. Finally she applied three coats of nail polish on it – each subsequent coat only after the preceding had completely dried. It took us nearly one and a half hours before all this was completed. Krishna suggested that I should have my lunch in her room itself – it would look odd if I were to walk out with my nails painted. I opted for a light snack instead of lunch – just a few idlis and sambar. The advantage of eating idlis was that I could eat with a spoon and not have to use my fingers to eat.
Krishna insisted that I had another bath before the make up started. So I decided to shower in Krishna’s bathroom. I noticed that Krishna had left her clothes out to wash. Curiosity got the better of me and I picked up Krishna’s bra and examined it closely. I could not make head or tail of what was written on the label – something like “Maidenform Princess 32C” and so on. I was tempted to try it on just to see how I looked with a real girl’s bra on me. I picked up my vest and briefs and rolled them into a two balls and stuffed them into Krishna’s bra which I was now wearing. I realized that my chest looked significantly bigger than the bra which I was wearing during all the walk rehearsals. The bra otherwise fit me perfectly. The only difference seemed to be 32C instead of 32B. It was my first introduction to the Cup size of bras.
Realising I was losing time, I quickly showered and wiped myself dry and was about to unlatch the door, when I realized that my vest and briefs were still balled up. Oops! Almost! I shook them loose, tossed them on Krishna’s pile of clothes and walked out.
I was already wearing my briefs and had my bath towel tied around my middle. Krishna handed me the two short saree petticoats which I wore one on top of the other. Krishna told me “Tie the petticoats as tight as you can – you don’t want any accidents on stage do you!” and she giggled! I smiled too!
Then she gave me a dark blue coloured Saree petticoat which I wore on top. On top of this, I wore a printed petticoat which was of a style that most unmarried girls wear in South Indian states. The blouse is covered with a semi-transparent piece of cloth of about one and a half metres, which ends on the left side of the wearers back. I was going to wear a similar dress in the unmarried lass scenes.
As I was putting on these garments, Saroja and Vijaya had joined us. Saroja and Krishna now helped me wear the new black bra. The shoulder straps needed adjustments on this one as it was the first time I was wearing it. I, however, noticed one difference in this bra. The bra was already padded.
Vijaya noticed it too and said, “Good work, Krishna, that you bought a padded bra – gives a better shape to the bosom and you need less filling up”. And indeed, Saroja needed only one handkerchief on each side instead of two which she used with the white bra. I also noticed that my breasts looked significantly larger than before. I asked Krishna as to whether the black bra was the same size as the white one. She said, “Yes and no”. “What do you mean?” I asked her. She said, “A bra has two sizes – one the bra size and one the cup size. A bra size is dependent on your measurements below the breast. The cup size is dependent on the difference between the measurement on the breast and measurements below the breast.” I did not understand.
“Let me show – but wear the bra first and pad it up”. Once I was done, she had Saroja bring the tape measure and with it she measured me below my breast. It was 28 inches. Now she measured me on the bra where I was most padded up. It was 33 inches. She said, “Add 4 or 5 to the first measurement to get an even number. 28 plus 4 is 32 which is even – that is your bra size. The difference between your breast measurement which is 33 and your chest measurement which is 28 is 5. For a difference of 3 inches, we use a ‘A’ Cup. For 4 inches, a ‘B’ Cup. And for 5 inches a ‘C’ cup. In your case, I had to decide how big breasted I wanted to make you. I chose C because on stage, most women like to show themselves better endowed than they really are. So is it in your case too.”
So saying, she handed me a new black blouse which I wore all by myself – I had got so much practice by then! Saroja reached on my shoulder and pulled out a strap on the blouse. Deftly, she passed the strap under the bra strap and attached it to a press button which was stitched on it. She did the same on the other shoulder. Krishna explained that such an arrangement kept the bra strap on the shoulder safely and invisibly under the blouse instead of it peeping out on my shoulder.
I also found that my blouse fitted me perfectly. I spent a few moments caressing my chest from side to side – Krishna noticed and said, “Yes, I am sure it feels nice”. Krishna called me closer to her and tweaked my chest once and made a face and said,"The shape is right, but the feel is hard! Anyway, what do you care!". I blushed!
Now once again it was time to lie down on the bed. This time, the make up was to be more elaborate. Vijaya started by cutting some of the straggly hairs from my eyebrows to the proper size. Vijaya had already been instructed that no make up or alteration which had long term effects could be done. That effectively excluded removing hair from my eyebrows to achieve a good shape. But my eyebrows could be skillfully cut to get a good shape while retaining an essentially male appearance.
Vijaya first cleaned my face with a liquid which Krishna explained was a skin cleanser. All oiliness disappeared immediately. Next Vijaya poured a few drops of a skin coloured creamy liquid on to a sponge and spread it evenly on my face. The effect was of this was to cool my face suddenly. All this while, I was lying down with my eyes closed. I did not know then but I dozed off and had a good nap of some 15 minutes. By the time I woke up, Vijaya had completed the eyelid and cheek makeup. I was also smelling differently – the result of all the cosmetics on my face. Vijaya had also applied something on my neck and below till the edge of the blouse – I could feel their cooling effect.
Now she applied an eyeliner to shape my eyes. She also pulled out her mascara bottle and applied copious amounts of mascara on my eyelashes. It was now time for my hair. (Vijaya normally applies lipstick and the bindi at the very end to prevent smudging.).
I sat up on a stool. Vijaya first combed my hair back and sprayed a little hair spray on it. She held the comb in place until the hair spray dried. To be doubly sure, she had Krishna using the Hair dryer on my sprayed hair to dry it really dry. The hair stuck to me scalp like a second skin.
Next she tied the black strip of cloth just above my forehead and knotted it tightly on my nape. She took out the wig from my suitcase and brushed the hair neatly. She shook it once or twice to check whether the hair fell in natural curls or not. When they did, she place the wig first on my head. With my own real hair firmly pasted to my scalp with the hair spray, it was easier for Vijaya to insert the clip on the wig under the black strip. Holding it in place with her left hand, she combed the wig while it stayed attached to my head. The image was one of a mother combing her daughter’s hair. After Vijaya was satisfied that my hair was perfect combed on my scalp, she inserted a number of bob-pins in to set it properly. But then it was a short haired wig. So she took the second hairpiece which she skillfully attached to the base of the wig. With a comb and brush, she blended the hair from the wig into the hair of the hair-piece so that the whole arrangement looked like my head had long hair growing from it. She later proceeded to braid the hair into a long plait. As she reached the bottom end, she picked up an ornament known as a paraandaa which is commonly used in North India.
A paraandaa is composed of three strings which of the same thickness as drawstrings. These strings are however black in colour and are tied to one another at one end. At the other end of each string, there is small cloth ball. The cloth ball is not solid. Instead it has a solid core of knotted threads with threads radiating to the outer periphery somewhat loosely. The whole effect is to give a very soft feel to the balls. In addition, the entire paraandaa arrangement gives a little weight to the loose end of the braid. The result is that the braid swings more when the hips are moved from side to side. Indian men find this very sexy.
Once the paraandaa was attached to my hair, Krishna produced a couple of Gajras which are flowers which are strung on threads. Using two bob-pins, she attached them to my hair. It was now time to wear my half-saree. A half-saree usually worn by unmarried girls, is infinitely easier to wear than a full saree. Within half a minute I had worn the saree and Saroja was pinning the pallu on my shoulder. Saroja also arranged the pallu with pleats on my shoulder.
Now Krishna helped me wear bangles, a necklace and clip on earrings. She also gave me a pair of silver anklets to wear. My toenails were already painted so my feet looked quite dainty.
By this time it was nearly a quarter past three. It was time to go to the school auditorium’s green room. Krishna picked up my bag which had my two changes of clothing and some other things like a hair net which was to be used on my bun in the throne scene. As I walked to the door, all the preceding three weeks of training instructions passed through my head, swinging my arms to swing my hips, swishing my plait from side to side, voice, adjusting my pallu to cover my breasts properly – all of it.
I felt I was ready to become – Shakuntala.