Chapter
4
First time on Stage
Our car and the driver, Nagesh, were waiting near the main entrance of the house. The driver was Saroja’s fiancé. So he was probably in the know.
He did not smile or giggle or make any funny sounds when he saw me accompanied by Vijaya, Saroja and Krishna walk towards the car. If anything, he stared somewhat fascinatedly!
When we were all seated in the car – as the only man in the car besides the driver, I would have normally sat next to the driver, but in my present dolled up condition, I preferred to sit in the back seat flanked on either side by Krishna and Vijaya while Saroja sat in the front. The other reason was that the rear windows were darkened so I would not attract any attention if we were to get caught in a traffic jam.
During the journey, I noticed Nagesh staring at me through the rear view mirror. “What is it?” I asked him in Kannada in my Shakuntala voice. He audibly gasped, “Nothing, sir!” he said, “But what happened to your voice, sir? It is so woman-like.” “Oh nothing!” I replied in my normal voice “I was just practicing!”.
Nagesh then turned to Krishna and told, “Madam, Sir looks exactly like a lady. If I had not known that it was Sir, I would definitely have thought it was some new lady friend of yours!”
I liked that very much. It simply meant that at even such close contact, I could pass for a little girl.
Soon we reached the school auditorium. There was a fair sized crowd already assembled. Nagesh navigated the car through the crowd and stopped near the rear entrance which led directly to the rear of the stage and the green rooms. With Krishna on one side and Saroja and Vijaya on the other and Nagesh clearing the way for me, we quickly walked to one of the two green rooms and locked it from inside.
Each person who wanted come into the green room had to identify himself or herself before the door was unlocked. My teacher and the director of the play came in twice. She was very happy with my appearance. “I am sure I will be asked where I found this ‘heroine’ in a boys only school!” she said laughingly.
I called her aside and made two requests – one my name was to be announced as “Radha Baliga” and not as “Radhakrishna Baliga”. The second request was to warn all children that any teasing meted out to me in the subsequent days was to dealt with strictly with severe punishment. She agreed wholeheartedly to both those requests and said that the matter of the punishment came up for discussion between her and the school principal. The school principal had assured her that he would refer to this in his speech which was after the play.
It was approaching 4 pm and all of us were getting nervous as the play was about to begin. Krishna came to me and held both my hands and said, “Don’t worry! Everything will be all right! You have rehearsed well, you are very well made up and your dress is also perfect. What could go wrong?”
That was when I felt like crying, “I am scared what Appa will say!” I blurted out.
“Don’t worry! I talked to Amma about it last night and she has promised that you will not get into trouble with Appa because of this performance. Remember this – Amma knows about all the purchases we have made for you – bras, blouses, sarees, jewellery, everything! And she told me that she was willing to go along with you even after this if you give a good performance. Appa, if at all, will appreciate you because he is the patron of the temple Yakshagana Mandali also and he knows how difficult it is to get realistic looking male actors to perform in female roles. If he likes your performance, he might even recommend you to the Mandali for any young girl’s roles, but only if you are interested.”
Just then, my teacher knocked on the door and I was called to the right wing from where my first entry was. Just before I stepped out, Krishna called me in once again and told me something which I have always remembered. She said, “It is not enough to just be well made up and perform well on stage. Even as you approach the stage, walk like you would walking on stage – like a young girl as I have taught you. And until you are dressed like a girl, walk and behave like a girl. It makes others around you comfortable. And.. Best of Luck! You will be a perfect Shakuntala today”.
“Thank you!” I said as I stepped out of the room. I took my first few short steps towards the wings, when Vidyashankar who was playing Dushyant approached me and said, “Radha, if you were a real girl, I would have fallen in love with you! You look so beautiful!” “Thank you!” I said in my most Shakuntala like voice.
To which Vidyashankar said, “I knew you could do it, but now when I talk to you on stage, I will be talking to Shakuntala and not Radha playing a female role!”
I could not ask for a better compliment and positively blushed!
****
The play itself was a great success. And yes, the principal did make a mention of severe retribution in his speech.
I did see Appa in the first row of the audience. He did not in the least bit appear to be angry. In fact Amma and Appa were smiling encouragingly at me all through the play. After the play, Amma and Appa came backstage and to talk to me. Krishna and Saroja were also present. Appa was smiling and he said, “Radhakrishna, I am proud of you. You were brilliant on stage. Would you like to learn more about acting on stage? I have always allowed my children to learn whatever skill they wanted to learn. If you feel you want to learn acting, I can arrange to have you trained in your summer vacation in the Yakshagana Mandali.”
“Let me think about it” I told Appa. “I understand my son. Right now you must be completely tired out from your stage performance! We will now leave you to have some rest here,” so saying Appa turned.
“Appa,” I called. “Yes” he turned.
“Appa, I want you to know that were it not for Krishna, Saroja and Vijaya here nothing would have been possible.” I said.
“I know my son. I was kept informed of everything that you all were upto. Your Amma kept me in the know all through. I was worried only of one thing – that you should not become the laughing stock of your school. You know it is difficult to get rid of any such image once you acquire it!” He said.
He turned now to Krishna and said, “Krishna, you and Saroja and Vijaya have worked hard at this thing. I know that the principal is going to call Radhakrishna on stage to give him a special prize.” Turning to me he said, “Radhakrishna, it is customary that when an actor gets a prize or an award of some sort, he acknowledges the efforts of all who have helped him give the performance. I want you to promise that you will call all of Krishna, Saroja and Vijaya on stage to share your success!”
“Of course I promise Appa!” I replied.
And yes, I was given a special prize that day for my role of Shakuntala. When my name was called out, I walked out as demurely as taught to me by Krishna and while accepting, I did request that I wanted to say something.
In my Shakuntala voice, I announced that all my success today could be attributed to the efforts of Krishna, Saroja and Vijaya without whose help, I would not have been able to carry this role off. And I said that I wanted them to share the limelight with me now and requested them over the microphone to come and join me. The applause which rose at the time was almost deafening!
****
The day after the play, I resumed my usual studies which were a lagging little. However by the time the year end exams came by, I had caught up and as usual I passed the exams at the top of my class.
Summer vacation had now started and I had a lot of time on my hands. I was wondering how I could fruitfully spend it when I remembered my father’s words on the Annual Day.
A thought crossed my mind that I could give being in a Yakshagana Mandali a try. So I raised the topic with my father the next day. He agreed with alacrity to my request and said he would talk to the Manager of the Mandali immediately.
A couple of days later, Appa called me to his room one evening and introduced me to Annaji Rao. Annaji was the Manager of the Yakshagana Mandali of the Temple of our Family Diety. As the chief patron of the Mandali, Appa had immense clout and influence in the Mandali.
“Radha, I know you performed the role of Shakuntala on stage in your school. I heard of a lot of praise for it from all who had witnessed the performance. Sir, has asked me to let you be in our Mandali to learn the finer nuances of female roles on the Yakshagana Stage. Are you really interested?” Annaji Rao asked me.
“Of course I am. I assure you, it will not be a waste of time for you.” I told Annaji.
“All right then, can you come to the rehearsals tonight. We are putting up a play a fortnight from now at Kumta at the Rathotsava there. The play is based on the Ramayana. You could be Sita’s sakhi. A sakhi you know is a lady who is always around the heroine. She is the heroine’s confidante, friend, comrade-in-arms in all the tricks the heroine uses in the play. There will be a page or so of dialogues to learn and practice. You have about 10 days. Will you be able to do it, my son?” Annaji asked.
“One page of dialogues will be easy to learn and remember. I should definitely be able to do it. But Appa, the play is to be presented in Kumta which is about 100 kms from here. How can I go there?” I asked Appa.
Appa said, “Don’t worry! As such the Mandali is traveling in a special van to Kumta. And I am sure there is space for Radhakrishna in it.” From the corner of my eye, I could see Annaji nodding his head vigorously.
That night at about 7, I went to a room at the rear of our Temple. There were a six other persons there. I was introduced to each of them. Shambhu was the hero playing Rama. Shankar was the co-hero playing Lakshman. Rajamani was playing Sita whose sakhi I was to play. The other persons were the Director, the Lead Singer and the Chenda (drum) player.
The Director welcomed me and introduced me to the others in the room. Each had heard about my role as Shakuntala and were fulsome in their praise for it. Rajamani was especially effusive – perhaps his experience helped him to appreciate my performance better.
We started off with a small prayer and as the youngest in the group, I touched the feet of each of the elders and sought their blessings. The rehearsal went on till about 9 pm after which we all dispersed. Rajamani sought me out and asked me if I had some time to spare.
He invited me to his home which was on the way back to our home. In his home, were his wife and two children, a five year old and an eighteen month old. After the introductions and a cup of milk (I was still too young to be offered coffee), we retired to his room. Rajamani wanted me to look at his collection of clothes so that I could buy those what I needed in addition.
He pulled out a big trunk from under the bed and opened it. On top were some 15 wigs and hair pieces. Rajamani had been a Stree vesha (female character) actor all his life and had played all kinds of roles. He was also a stree vesha actor in non-Yakshagana theatre.
One by one, he pulled out a set of clothes that I would need for the sakhi’s role. It so turned out that I had all what I needed. The only things that were missing and I needed were the jewellery.
I chose what I wanted and set them aside. Next Rajamani taught me my first steps in Yakshagana dance. The dance by the female characters is completely different from that of the male characters. It is supposed to be sensual in nature. Having observed Yakshagana plays from a very young age, I could easily replicate the steps. But somehow, I was not feeling very comfortable with the entire concept of Yakshagana plays. I thought that the plays were far removed from reality especially because of the elaborate make up that was required by each of the characters.
I expressed my reservations to Rajamani and he concurred too. He admitted that the prime outlet for his creative urges were the non-Yakshagana theatre. I requested him to allow me to participate in such theatrical activities. He agreed to help me out.
The performance at Kumta was a complete change from that in my school earlier that year. As the son of the patron of the Mandali, I was accorded privileged status and did not have to do many of the chores which other freshly inducted actors would have done.
We returned from Kumta the day after the performance and the Mandali was already preparing to leave for Manjeshwar for a second performance of the same play four days later.
After my return, I met my father and expressed to him my reservations about being in the Yakshagana theatre. I suggested that I could be a female role actor in the non-Yakshagana Mandali of which too, my father was a patron. Appa was reluctant to allow me to become an actor. So he said, “Let us see. Not this vacation. Maybe next year”.
So that year, I stayed at home and learnt music instead.