Chapter
6
Engineering College
After I completed my schooling, I gained admission into a very prestigious engineering college at a place called Suratkal a few kilometers from Mangalore. In those days, Engineering was almost an exclusive preserve of boys. There were very few girls in Engineering College. Further competition to get admission into Engineering College was very tough. So when I got admission into an Engineering College, I was the only one from my High School to have done so.
It was very strange to be transported suddenly from one’s protected home to a hostel. From being waited hand and foot all day, I was suddenly required to discipline myself. I had to wash, dry, fold and press my own clothes, keep my room clean and so on.
Engineering College was also where I met my wife to be - Vidhya. She was in the same class as mine. At first, we were not too friendly with each other. It partly stemmed from the fact that both of us were always in competition with each other for securing the first position in class. But soon, we found ourselves together on class assignments and I found Vidhya to be a very intelligent, mature for her age and generally a nice girl.
Academic pressures had already caught up with me when I was preparing for the qualifying examinations before admissions. I realized I could have a little more time everyday if I were to grow my beard. Even after the examinations and into the first year of Engineering, I kept my beard on. (My sister Krishna thought I looked very handsome, but then Krishna likes men with beards!)
One of our assignments required Vidhya and I to conduct a Civil Engineering Survey of a part of our campus. We were given the choice of which part of the campus we wanted to survey. The part we agreed to was a somewhat secluded part of the campus. It would require us some three days to complete the survey.
But at the end of it, Vidhya and I had grown really close to each other. Very soon, we were talking to each other on all sorts of subjects under the sun. It was not too long that we realized that we were madly in love with each other.
We also found that we were physically drawn to each other too. But hostels in Suratkal were segregated by sexes, so we could not live together in the same hostel. We had to work out a stratagem to work around this restriction.
At the same time, we wanted that we would not do anything that would make our families ashamed of us. I was of the opinion that we should make to each other a long term commitment. That meant being engaged to be married.
Both Vidhya and I belonged to highly conservative families. They would not brook any elopement. Further, as the only son of my parents, it was going to be my responsibility to run the family business. So the only way out for me was to involve our families in our romance.
Vidhya was terrified of her father’s anger. But at the same time, she knew that her father would approve a marriage to me because my family was so highly respected in Mangalore. The way out seemed to be for me to have my family formally approach her parents for her hand in marriage to me.
I decided that I would use Krishna’s services for the purpose. As is always the case, Krishna and Amma were very close to each other and trusted each other implicitly.
One day, I asked Krishna to come over to Suratkal so that we could travel together in the family car back to Mangalore for the weekend. It was one of the very few weekends which I spent away from Vidhya. In the car, I told Krishna that I wanted to tell her something. Krishna told me to wait until we stopped at a roadside eatery where we could be afforded privacy from our driver.
So at a small restaurant which typically dot the National Highway north of Mangalore, we stopped for some snacks. During that break, I told Krishna all about Vidhya. Krishna liked what I told her and she said she would help me. There was however one condition which she put before she could help me. Krishna wanted to meet Vidhya first. Perhaps she wanted to assess Vidhya as my future wife. I agreed to this.
So the next weekend, Krishna was once again in Suratkal, but this time she reached there on a Saturday morning instead of a Friday evening. The plan was to have Krishna spend the entire day with Vidhya. Vidhya was also briefed about Krishna’s mission and was agreeable to that.
So that Saturday, Krishna spent the whole day with Vidhya. They went off on a picnic together to Jog Falls. They spent some time on the beach nearby. In other words, Krishna just seemed to want to get to know Vidhya well. At the end of the day, when it was time to go back to Mangalore, Krishna said nothing but just winked at me.
I was worried. Silence from Krishna meant that Vidhya’s “assessment” could go either way. When I met Vidhya the next day, she was equally unforthcoming. All questions were answered by her with a “Uh! Huh!” or a “I don’t know!”.
Things were certainly not going the way I wanted them to. And during classes also, I was quite short tempered and foul mouthed! On Thursday of that week, Krishna called long distance from Mangalore. She said that Amma wanted to talk to me person to person. When I asked for details, Krishna told me that she had no details – just that Amma wanted to talk to me. I asked Krishna if she had told Amma about the trip the previous weekend. Krishna replied that she had and said somewhat mysteriously that Amma wanted to talk to me in connection with that.
So the next day, when our car arrived, I was on all pins and needles as I climbed into the car. Alone in my thoughts, I must have imagined all kinds of things a hundred times and more! Finally, I said to myself that whatever happened, happened for the best and it was best to let things happen – at least in this case! Nothing was going to change by worrying!
I reached our home late on Friday night and there was no time to talk to Amma. The next morning, Appa had an early breakfast and Krishna, I and Amma were left to ourselves at the dining table. Amma told me that Krishna had spoken to her about Vidhya and wanted to hear a few more things from me.
I told Amma that since Krishna had spent nearly a day with Vidhya, Krishna knew everything that had to be known about Vidhya. Krishna could brief Amma about Vidhya. “And she did” completed Amma. But there are certain things that I want to know about Vidhya from you.
I said, “OK, please ask me questions and I will answer as best as I can truthfully!”.
All of us – Krishna, Amma and I - moved to Amma’s room and for the next two hours Amma quizzed me on a host of topics about Vidhya. There were times when I could not answer a question or two and I said so. All questions for which I knew the answers, I answered as completely as possible.
At the end of it, Amma said, “I think I am convinced that you are genuinely fond of the girl. Krishna was also fulsome in her praise for Vidhya. Would you like me to talk to Appa about it?”
I said, “Amma, I know I have done nothing wrong. I am fond of a truly nice girl. I would like that I do nothing that would bring shame to either of our families. But I am still worried about what Appa will think!”
“You don’t worry about that,” Amma assured me. “When each of you children were born, your Appa and I had decided that in respect of alliances for your marriage, I had to first approve of the matches and then Appa would inspect. Although Appa would have veto powers, he would mostly go with what I decided because he trusted my instincts. So you don’t have to worry. But before I meet Vidhya myself, I would like to keep Appa informed. I have a plan of action in my mind and I will be talking this over with Appa.”
“Amma, I want to assure you one thing. I want to complete my engineering degree before I marry. I would also like Vidhya to complete her education before marriage. Further, I would not like to do anything that would bring shame on Vidhya or me or on either of our families.”
Amma was very happy with what she heard. Later, Krishna and I were talking about the previous Saturday’s picnic with Vidhya.
Krishna told me that she had told Vidhya about my stage roles and how feminine I looked in a saree! Vidhya wanted to see some pictures of me in a saree and made up. I begged Krishna not to show these pictures to Vidhya because if they were to become public knowledge in Suratkal, it would be highly embarrassing! Krishna promised.
I returned to Suratkal the next evening in our car.