Chapter 9
Blunder!
I checked my appearance in the mirror before I stepped out of our hotel room.
Vidhya said to me, “You look beautiful!”
“Thank you!” I said.
We had decided to go to an Indian Restaurant called Taj Mahal because it was near the hotel where we stayed. When we stopped to return our room keys, we asked the receptionist for directions to “Taj Mahal”. It turned out that it was just a block away so we decided to walk. Best of all, the receptionist did not recognize me to be a man in a dress and addressed me as “Madam.”
As we walked along the deserted streets of Amsterdam, I longed to have Vidhya hold my hand but that would have made us look like two lesbians – an image we wanted to avoid. Shortly, we reached the restaurant. The valet helped Vidhya out of her sweater. But when he wanted to do the same with me, I told him I need to use the restroom first. I also told him to fix up a table for two in their non-smoking section and escort Vidhya to it while I used the rest room. He agreed and I went in the direction of the restrooms.
The Women’s restroom was first and since I was dressed like one, I stepped into that.
There was no one inside. I need to use the toilet also, so I stepped into one of the cubicles. Taking care to sit down to do what I wanted to do, I emerged out a couple of minutes later.
As I was unpinning my pallu, the toilet door opened and another lady entered. She was not an Indian.
“Hello.” She greeted me.
“Hello” I greeted back.
“Very beautiful outfit. It is a saree isn’t it?” she asked me.
“Yes” I answered.
“Wow! Must be complicated to wear it” She commented.
“Not really. Not if you know how to wear one.” I answered.
“Can you spare a few minutes to show me how you have worn it?” She asked me.
I stole a look at my watch, which she noticed. “Not if you are getting late.” She said.
I decided that I liked her so I said, “I think I can spend a couple of minutes.”
I finished unpinning my pallu from my shoulder and uncovered my chest.
Luckily the breast forms were so natural in their feel that the lady did not suspect that anything was amiss.
“By the way, my name is Inga” she introduced herself. “I am Radha” I replied.
She was fascinated with the tailoring of my blouse. I pointed to her the three tucks in the front and the two at the back which help to make the blouse what it is. I then drew her attention to the pleats in the front and how one gathered them while wearing them. I lifted the bottom hem of the saree a little to show a small part of the saree petticoat on which we mount our saree.
“Can I use an ankle length skirt under a saree? It has an elastic on the waist.” Inga asked me.
“Unfortunately, a saree petticoat must be worn by tying it at the waist with a drawstring. Otherwise it would not be able to support the weight of the saree.” I explained.
“Ok” she said.
“See - you tuck in the non-decorative end of the saree here at the waist. Around yourself once while continuously tucking in the edge into your petticoat. Then once more around you - this time without tucking in your saree into your petticoat and then put the decorative end on your left shoulder. Next you gather the pleats and tuck them in to your saree petticoat in the front. Adjust them such that the print of the saree looks good. Finally the pallu on your left shoulder.”
I am not sure if Inga understood what I had explained but since I was in a bit of a hurry to join Vidhya at our dinner table, I excused myself and left the toilet quickly.
Vidhya had not started ordering our dinner. Both of us were rather hungry but we were also very eager to leave for our hotel. My dressing up had excited me and I knew that Vidhya also liked me dressed up as a woman.
So we decided to have soup in the restaurant but pack our main course. Vidhya ordered Tomato Soup while I ordered Cream of Chicken Soup. For the main course we ordered Butter Chicken, Naan, peas pulao and daal makhani. For the dessert we decided to order Kulfi.
During our idle conversation while waiting for the dinner to arrive, Vidhya suggested we could carry a bottle of wine to our room and have it later. I agreed and beckoned to the waiter.
He suggested a couple of wine selections which he claimed were the specialty of the house. I opted for one of them and asked the waiter to fetch two bottles of the selection.
He went to the manager who handed the waiter the keys to the cellar where they obviously stored the specialty wines. Within a few minutes, our food had arrived. We picked up the food bags and went to the cashier’s counter to pay our bill and collect the wine.
At the cashier’s counter, the manager hesitated before he handed over our wine bottles.
“Is anything the problem?” I asked.
“No.. not really.. you know actually, we are required to check the identity of the persons to whom we sell liquor as per Dutch law. So I was wondering if you had any identification document with you.”
“Oh! Will an Indian Passport do?” I asked.
“Sure. That would be just fine.” Replied the Manager.
I reached in Vidhya’s purse which I was carrying and found my passport. I opened it to confirm it was mine and not Vidhya’s when I froze………..
The photograph inside the passport was mine but it was me in the male mode. There was no way in which the manager would accept this passport as identification for my present en-femme mode!
The Manager noticed my hesitation and suspected that something was wrong. His disinclination to give me our wine bottles increased as a result.
“Madam, is there any problem?” he asked.
Vidhya was getting worried too because she did not know what was happening.
“What’s up?” she whispered urgently in Kannada.
In quick staccato sentences in Kannada, I explained to her what the problem was and asked her if she had her passport with her. It turned out that she did not have it.
“I can accept Madam’s passport,” the Manager explained, thinking perhaps that the passport which I had in my hand was Vidhya’s! Poor thing he was only trying to be helpful!
“No it is not what you think it is.” I told him. “Do you have your own office where I can explain without any interference?” I asked him.
“Sure, this way madam.” So saying, he gestured to a door behind him.
Both Vidhya and I followed him. I made it a point to lock the door behind me.
“Madam what seems to be the problem?” the Manager asked me.
I hesitated again.
“Tell me madam, I will try and help you as much as possible.”
“All right this is what it is” I said.
“Actually my name is Radhakrishna – Mr Radhakrishna. Yes I am a man and this here Vidhya is my wife. We are on our honeymoon and this of my being dressed like a woman is our joint idea. Vidhya wanted to come out with me like she was with her sister.” I explained all this in my normal male voice.
The Manager was speechless. He did not know what to say.
Swallowing twice, he said, “Madam…. Sir….. Madam – Sir I hope you don’t mind me calling you Madam because you look so much like a lady – can you sign as you have signed in the passport?”
“Yes. Of course. It is after all my passport, my current appearance notwithstanding.” I said.
“Madam that is what matters. I should identify a person as being above 21 and if the person can sign in the same way as a document which proves that your age is more than 21 years. That is all I need as proof.”
So saying he gave me a form on which all other details were filled up except my name. I quickly filled up my name, signed the form and gave it back to the Manager.
He smiled at me and said, “Thank you….er… Madam. I think I feel better to address you as Madam. Hope you don’t mind Sir.”
“Oh I don’t mind. Can I ask you a favour or two?” I said.
“Sure Madam. Any other way I can be of help?” The Manager asked.
“For one, can you have our food packet brought in to us? And for two, let this incident be between us only?” I asked.
“Oh sure Madam. You can trust me.” The Manager reassured us.
“One more thing. Is there a way out directly from this room so that we don’t have to walk through the dining area?” I asked.
“Yes. There is. You can leave from here directly. You will need your sweaters too. I will have our waiter fetch both your sweaters”.
The Manager popped his head out of the room, said something to someone outside and within less than a minute, our food packages and our two sweaters were with us.
The waiter was not even allowed to step into the Manager’s office during this entire episode.
“Just one question Madam” the Manager asked me.
“Yes.”
“I hope you used the Ladies rest room when you came in first earlier.” The Manager said.
“Of course. You would have not known about this thing were it not for the passport! How would you have felt a lady using a Gents’ toilet?” I asked.
The Manager had sufficient sense of humour left to actually laugh at my joke.
We bid him good bye and left the office and walked back to our hotel. Only after we reached our room did I let out a “Phew!”