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Get you own Free HomepageIt is the gods honest truth you are not alone, you may worry about all the feelings you have building up inside, but there are others who have been in your situation before and they will tell you that you can come through it smiling. You first have to come to terms with what you are. A Transvestite or Transsexual. There is a difference which I will try and explain to you as I see it:-
Transvestite is a person (not necessary male it can happen in the females too) who have the desire to dress in the clothes of the opposite sex. Transvestites have various reasons for this, two being Sexual gratification and Feminine clothes. I will try to deal with them individually :
Sexual Gratification: some transvestites believe as they do not feel appealing in their male mode but get an erection when dressing, that it is a sex based thing. Turn on! well this is something personal is it not, who is to tell you what is right or wrong. However, it may be for some, but I can assure you that after a period of time the sexual feelings do subside, but a TV does not then give up his dressing. Why? because it is something that goes a lot deeper than that. Believe it or not it is something that is born in you.
Feminine clothes: lets face it the cloth has improved over the years for the male gender but they can still be harsh or coarse and who said it is only the women that can wear the pretty stuff, in some countries the males dress is more elaborate than the ladies anyway. It is only our Western culture that makes what you are doing so odd and maybe it is about time we changed it, even a Mallard Duck is more attractive than its mate and they mate for life. So there must be something in it.
Most transvestites have had the desires to dress since they were very small, some may have pinched their mothers tights, underwear or other clothes to try on. It does not mean you are a Pervert either. It is a genuine condition for which there is NO CURE only treatment so do not be closeted get out met others enjoy being what you are!!
There are three main reasons why men suppress the desire to crossdress, they are:-
The feeling that crossdressing is wrong.
The fear of the feminine traits and qualities you have.
Wives and other people prefer that you do not it.
Regardless of the reason, the crossdresser will not be successful in his efforts to suppress his desires for long periods. What you must consider are these points:-
You should learn to accept yourself without feelings of remorse or guilt.
You should put all you fears to rest and take each day as it comes.
If you feel you must tell your wife or SO wait for acceptance do not rush things.
That brings me on to the wife or SO. I once read that if your Wife or SO are prepared to try and accept you for what you are. You must try to remember:-
Do your best to become best friends.
Try to go out once a week together as a couple.
Ask for there help and advice as you develop your feminine qualities.
Make her believe she is the most important person in your life.
Let you love grow and develop and do not be scared to show it.
Let her help you with your problems and needs.
Never ever walk away when she is crying.
Never talk to her in any other than a normal tone.
Never physically abuse her-(save your strength for Love).
Do not criticize her unjustly.
Do not let her down to others.
Do not destroy her pride or self esteem.
Always treat her as a Lady.
Give her little present now and again to show you care.
Tell her your negative thoughts but in a kind, soft and gentle way.
Always remember you commitment to faithfulness.
Transsexuals are a different breed altogether they are unfortunate in the fact that they are trapped in the wrong body they think, feel and are a woman inside and you will not convince them any different. Unlike the Transvestite who only want to be feminine for short periods of time, the transsexual needs to be a woman all the time, the only thing they can not do is give birth, but who knows what with todays technology I am sure that will be possible soon too. In my humble opinion they are not catered for enough in todays society.
There are places where you can get more help and advice and generally see what the other transgenders feel in my links page.
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