Due to the overwhelming lack of reliable information about the transgender community, it is necessary to explain some of the terminology we have grown to accept in defining the complex beings we are.

I have been a part of the GLBT community network for some time and have worked with the most wonderful people who, while representing their own issues, have at times expressed an interest in the transgender community. Gays, Lesbians and Bisexuals have accepted our community with reluctance, but have rarely made meaningful attempts to understand what we are really saying.

All too often, when a transgendered person is explaining the phenomenon to a broader community, there isn’t much apparent interest in putting forth the effort to understand our reality, the subtle nuances that make us different. It is almost as if the rule of thumb is: “My mind is made up. Don’t confuse me with facts.”

Below, I will try to clarify some of the misconceptions surrounding the concepts of Gender, Sex, and Gender Identity/Expression.

Sex is Male or Female.

Sex defines physical anatomy, and is about as close to black-and-white as one is likely to get in anything dealing with human beings. A doctor, who plays God when you are born, prescribes your sex with a male or female identity; the doctor defines your sex at birth. You have to live according to the sex on your legal documents and birth certificate. A transgender person, later on in life, learns that they are challenging their birth record.

Gender is Masculine or Feminine.

Gender defines personality traits and actions which society has arbitrarily assigned to a specific sex. Men are supposed to be macho, strong and aggressive. Females are supposed to be soft and pretty (sugar and spice). If a male portrays a feminine attitude or traits, he is branded and labeled effeminate or gay. If a female shows an assertive or aggressive attitude she is perceived as being butch or a tomboy. Gender is not black and white; it is more fluid, changing according to the person’s individual upbringing and feelings. It varies from day to day, week to week, and is composed of multiple shades of gray. When it comes to gender, there is clear societal double standard. Its OK for your female partner to wear work boots, a plaid shirt and jeans in order to be comfortable, but when the male partner dons a skirt, blouse and heels because the clothes feel right, divorce is in the air, and he is labeled sick and degenerate. Why does society accept one more than the other?

Gender Identity/Expression is how we wish to be perceived by the world around us.

It includes femininity, masculinity and androgyny. It is a sliding scale with an infinite number of stops along the way. At each stop, we try to analyze the significance of where we are in our new identity/expression. Some transgender people do not have the chance to identify all the time as they would choose and attend transgender social functions occasionally. At the office, the person has to identify as male or female, but in the evening they may change into the clothes that are more reflective of their true selves. This changing back and forth from masculine to feminine can ruin strong, vibrant personalities to the point of self-destruction.

Society and its rules for survival, as they currently stand, do not allow transgender persons to exist freely. Some have been able to live in their new identity… but not without harassment. The transexual person, a segment of our community, needs to live full-time under their new identity for at least a year before undergoing complete surgery, known as Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS), to become the person they always were on the inside. The surgery alters parts of their body to change a male into a female or a female into a male. It’s costly and requires intensive care for recovery. The person who has had the surgery is now complete, physically, emotionally and mentally. Every thing finally fits! Transgender folk who choose not have surgery, but live full time under their new identity, are also complete in their own identity/expression.

The areas I have mentioned, together with many social factors, will blend, blur, or sharpen as we deal with the image projected. Transfolk could be attracted to a member of the opposite sex, people of the same sex, even to other transgender people. The variations are complex. It does not imply that some are right and some are wrong. It means that each individual is unique in being transgendered. We are a very diverse community trying to be accepted as human beings. We are dealing with the misconception and ignorance of our service providers and care givers.

Maybe next year we will be accepted…

Until next time. Ta Ta...