First of all, I want to thank Douglas Connors, the editor, for allowing me to write for Northern Sash! It is a privilege to have an opportunity to relate to the readers about the transgender community. I am a transgender woman, meaning that I live full time as a woman and on hormones. When I talk about crossdressing it is for the purpose of the fetish aspect.

I have been around for about 20 years preaching and practicing who I am, and what I am. I have dabbled in many aspects of diversity. I used to work in a sex store that sold leather and many other products for the customers’ sexual gratification and the pleasure each had while wearing the items. I also had the chance to visit Boots, a leather bar in Toronto, about 10 years ago. I went with a friend; we traveled from Ottawa, Ontario to Toronto and booked a room at the bed and breakfast above Boots. I wore my most indecent mini-skirt, a transparent blouse with black bra and fish net stockings. I was overdressed for the occasion.

The evening at Boots was a real eye-opener for me. I saw hobble skirts, arm bindings, leather crotch straps, and restraining devices of one sort of another. Doms were escorting their prey with spiked dog collars complete with whips. One person arrived wearing a full leather outfit that must have cost $3000.00. Full balaclava, leather body suit, leather pants under chaps, and 6 inch pumps. The outfit was so skin forming this person did not sit down the whole evening. She was over six foot, six, -- with shoulders a yard across -- I use the pronoun she as this person dressed as a woman. In the background slapping noises were heard from spankers promoting their trade. All in all it was night to remember. Like I said I had worked in a sex store; I had access to the Northbound Leather catalogues and I saw the pictures of the restraining devices and placement of certain objects. At Boots I saw where they belonged.

In my opening statement I told you who I am. Now I ask: Who are you?

Popeye the sailor has a line which is one of his many trademarks, "I yam what I yam." This statement has a degree of conviction that leaves without a doubt the accuracy of who he is.

We’ve all wondered if leather, crossdressing, and other things of the like are compulsive disorders or just fetish gone amuck. Popeye knew who he was and expressed it every day. In this article I will try to cross-reference the conviction of who I am to the compulsive relationship to the things that we do. It is not intended to be negative or harmful, but to give you the idea that both can be addictive and obsessive.

Being an individual, like other individuals, we have an unconscious and uncontrollable tendency to center ourselves on the things we hold most precious to our lives. To the crossdresser or leather person, our obsession is to find the things that are most pleasurable to us. We think about the last time we dressed, we think about the next time we will be able to indulge in the pleasure of the clothes that make us either submissive of dominant. All day we think about the next activity of personal satisfaction. It some times takes over our lives. It takes up space not only in our brains but in our closets too! We worry about not doing it for any length of time and the depression that results from not doing it. We mentally beat ourselves up afterwards to find any excuse that could make it wrong.

A transgender person or leather person can live next door and you might not know it. We may work in the same plant or office environment, go to the same church and we may even be the same age. We could be married or in a same-sex relationship. Does anybody care? There is a lot more to us than meets the eye.

In the next several issues I will be talking about the transgender community and who we are, the fantasies and issues we face every day.

This is the thing we do and it’s our responsibility to be the people we are.

Until next time. Ta Ta...