New Computer-Viruses

• Lewinsky Virus:
  Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
  
  
• Clinton Virus:
  Gives you a 7" hard drive with no memory.
  
  
• Kenneth Starr Virus:
  Competely examines every aspect of your computer, then compiles a complex report that discredits every aspect of your computer.
  
  
• Ronald Reagan Virus:
  Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
  
  
• Mike Tyson Virus:
  Quits after two bytes. Spits everything out.
  
  
• Oprah Winfrey Virus:
  Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.
  
  
• Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus:
  Deletes all old files.
  
  
• Ellen Degeneres Virus:
  Disks can no longer be inserted.
  
  
• Titanic Virus:
  Your whole computer goes down.
  
  
• Disney Virus:
  Everything in your computer goes Goofy.
  
  
• Prozac Virus:
  Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
  
  
• Joey Buttafuoco Virus:
  Only attacks minor files.
  
  
• Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus:
  Terminates zome viles, leaves, but it vill be "baack".
  
  
• Lorena Bobbit Virus:
  Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.
  
  
• Viagra Virus:
  Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

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