This is the ultimate list of why X is better than women. This list not only contains why beer is better than women, but also why tacos, cats, guitars, and yes even sheep are better than women.

Beer always comes in multiples of six.

Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.

Beer doesn't make you go shopping.

Beer doesn't blow you off.

Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners.

When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.

A beer gets lighter the longer you hold it.

You don't need a license to live with a beer.

You can shoot a beer.

Beer doesn't demand equality.

A beer doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose".

No matter what the package, a beer still looks good.

Beer never complains when you take it somewhere.

When your interrupted by a beer it's for a good reason.

Beer never changes its mind.

A beer doesn't change its mind after you've taken off its top.

Beer won't run off with your credit cards.

A beer doesn't care if you keep a bunch of other beers around.

Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get.

Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.

Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers.

Beer doesn't get cramps.

A beer is always ready to leave on time.

Beer won't complain about your choice of vacation - it goes along happily.

Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass.

Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper.

A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "Doberman" instead of "doberperson".

Beer always listens and never argues.

Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it.

Beer doesn't pout or play games.

A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials with the babies are "cute".

A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up.

Beer doesn't live with its mother.

You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.

Beer doesn't look you up in a month.

A beer won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the grocery store.

Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids.

Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.

A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Penthouse "just for the articles". (You are lying, but the beer won't accuse you of it.)

Beer doesn't have a mother.

A beer won't tell you its pregnant for fun.

Beer doesn't have morals.

Beer labels don't go out of style every year.

It's okay to leave a party with a different beer than the one you bought.

You don't have to wine and dine a beer.

When your beer is gone, you just pop another.

Beer doesn't have a lawyer.

You can put all your old beers together in one room and they won't fight.

A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.

Beer doesn't go crazy once a month.

A beer won't accuse you of being a sexist pig if you say "Gene Hackman" instead of "Gene Hackperson".

Beer doesn't mind football season.

A beer does not come with in-laws.

A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman.

You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod.

Beers don't want a lasting relationship.

Beer doesn't demand legality.

Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive.

A beer won't make you go to church.

Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry.

You can try dark beers and foreign beers without upsetting your parents.

When beer goes flat you toss it out.

A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission.

Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in.

Beer looks the same in the morning.

A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.

Beer doesn't mind getting dirty.

A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than dumping the empty bottle.

Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car.

You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.

Beer NEVER says no.

If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.

A beer looks as good in the morning as it did when the bar closed.

A beer never fishes for compliments.

Beer doesn't need much closet space.

Beer labels come off without a fight.

You don't have to drive a beer home in the morning.

After you've put your lips to a beer, it doesn't say, 'What are you doing?'

A beer will never make you go to a Swedish movie.

A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads.

You can have a beer in public.

Beer won't drive you to drink.

Beer never asks you to change the station.

A beer will never make you turn off "Fists of Fury Theater" on channel 5 on Saturday afternoons.

A beer won't smoke in your car.

Beer is never late.

If you mention a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" around a beer, it won't think you're talking about an enormous can of vegetable juice.

Beer never has a headache.

A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.

A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian folk music on your favorite radio station.

Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity.

A beer will wait in the car while you go and play football.

A beer won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the excuse: "But I saved a quarter!"

Beer doesn't care how much you earn.

After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime.

You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning.

A beer won't worry that you'll go to jail if you videotape a Giants game without the expressed, written consent of the National Football League.

The only thing a beer tells you is when its time to go to the bathroom.

HANGOVERS go away.

A guitar has a volume knob

If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one

You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to

You can unplug a guitar

If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can retune it

You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to your liking

If you scratch a guitar's back, it's unintentional, not required

You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed.

You can get rich playing a guitar, not broke.

A guitar doesn't take half of everything you own when you sell it.

Women are more fun when the power goes out

The input to a guitar is only 1/4"

A guitar won't beg to be played

It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it

Guitars aren't very aggressive

A guitar won't play you back

A guitar won't scratch your back

A guitar won't drive you home if you're too drunk

You can't fall in love with a guitar (well, maybe you can, but they can't love you back)

If you really do want little guitars, you have to buy them.

You can't marry a rich guitar.

Even a good guitar won't usually last a whole lifetime.

Sheep don't shy away from boots and leather

Sheep won't drink your liquor, smoke your weed, snort your coke, and then tell you they have to be home early

Sheep never ask if you're ready to settle down

Sheep never ask about you former lovers and then get pissed off when you tell them

No matter how old or ugly you are, you can always find a willing ewe

Sheep are never concerned about their reputation

Sheep never insist on eating out

Sheep don't get suspicious if you have to work late

Sheep don't get moody once a month

A sheep doesn't expect you to support her for the rest of her life after one roll in the hay

A sheep never wears curlers and a mud pack to bed

A sheep won't think that a weekend stay-over entitles her to rearrange your furniture and put up new curtains

A sheep won't expect you to pay...and pay...and pay...and pay

A sheep will never complain about the spittoon in your pickup

A sheep will never throw out your old copies of Playboy

A sheep won't care if you keep your fish bait in the refrigerator

A sheep won't get even with you by spending your paycheck on new clothes, none of which are see-through or meant to be worn in the bedroom

A sheep will never sue you for palimony

A sheep won't care if your secretary is better looking than she is

A sheep won't use your razor to shave it's legs, or your pocketknife to open a paint can

A sheep won't give your favorite hunting shirt to Goodwill

A sheep won't leave wet nylons hanging all over the bathroom

A sheep will never ask you to stop on the way home from work and pick up a box of tampons

Sheep grow their own fur coats

A sheep will never leave a vibrator on the living room couch when you're having friends over to watch football

A sheep never yells at you for leaving the lid up

A sheep won't send you out for batteries for her vibrator

A sheep won't mind if you put up mirrors in the bedroom

A sheep won't think your cheap and tacky if you: send daisies instead of long-stemmed red roses, tip less than 20%, wear Levi's with a hole in the seat, open beer bottles with your teeth

A SHEEP WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU FOR A CUCUMBER

don't compare you with friends.

don't tell their mother that you are an asshole.

don't tell your mother that you are an asshole.

don't fall in love with you.

NEVER call you back in a month with bad news.

don't care if you respect them in the morning.

can get away on weekends.

don't care if you come home smelling like strange tacos.

don't call you at home.

won't mind if you talk about other tacos in your sleep.

won't leave panties in your car.

can handle rejection.

won't ask you about former tacos.

don't demand alimony when you stop eating them.

don't get headaches.

don't make you tell them it was great.

You can still eat a taco after you forget its birthday.

A cat doesn't use the phone for hours.

A cat loves you until it dies.

You don't have to tell your cat you love it -- it knows you do.

A cat never calls you on the phone in the middle of the night saying "...ooooh I'm soooo druuuunk, wiiiill youuuuu taaake meeee hooooooome..."

You don't need to help your cat with Calculus or Statistics.

A cat doesn't care if you haven't been eating for two days.

A cat doesn't want to borrow money from you.

You don't need to buy your cat expensive presents on its birthday.

You don't need to buy your cats mother expensive presents on her birthday.

If there's a mouse in the house, the cat kills it, instead of making a lot of fuss about it.

A cat won't hate you if you have it castrated.