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JOKES & QUOTES
by Women and for Women
Alone we can do so little; Don't Compromise yourself.
together we can do so much. You are all you've got.
~Helen Keller~ ~Janis Joplin~
We women talk too much, nevertheless we only say half of what we know.
~Nancy Astor~
Laughter for the heart:
Q: What is the difference between government bonds and men?
A: Government bonds mature.
You Know You're A Mom When:
- You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
- You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
- You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
- You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal
- You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.
- You can't bear to give away baby clothes...it's so final.
Ways To Drive Men Crazy
- Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he complains, innocently suggest that he's gained a few pounds
- Insist upon a lot of "meaningful conversations."
- Stare at his forehead and when he notices, casually ask if there
is any history of male pattern baldness on his mother's side
- Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. (Hide them well.)
- "Accidentally" fill the gas tank of his new Porsche with diesel
- Superglue the pages of his Little Black Book together.
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