really searing bit
I was trying to fingure out what to do with all this space here. I
figured I could do a searing indictment of something. But then the
only problem was what to indict. I mean, I could go on about Mike
Harris or Preston Manning or one of them, but let's face it,
politics is overdone. I could rail against the gross unfairness of
life and love, but I'm not exactly breaking new ground there. For
a moment I considered scrawling a particularly singing (as in to
singe with a fire... how do you spell that?) condemnation of big
essays given out at summer school, or how annoying it is when you
REALLY need to go, and there's someone in the bathroom already...
but that little voice in the back of my head said "no," for some
inexplicable reason.
So I'm left wondering: when you are feeling nice and vitriolic
and in dire need of a really good sear, what IS there to take a
shot at? And then it hit me. I should deliver a stinging diatribe
against topiclessness. See, I have a topic now, so I can feel
properly self-righteous and indignant about those who don't (funny
how these things work isn't it).
Rampage begins:
Mes amis, Mes amis! (oops, forgot, not in
Quebec, don't need to go into Lucien mode). We have a problem in
this country. We have an insideous and invasive, parasitic problem!
And this horror, this EVIL wanders among us uncondemed!!! As
[insert name of famous person] once said: "topiclessnes is [insert
clever quote]". Yes, topiclessnes! How many people have died
without a topic on their lips? How many children have needlessly
suffered while in the middle of trying to think of something to say?
How many coversations have died this ignominious death? [insert
more inciting rhetoric and a fiery conclusion]. And so I say to
you, go, go (150 pages cut for brevity). And try to have a nice
time. Thank you very much.