I decided that since the JediPony RPG had hit a slump, I would continue the little journey in a fanfic!
……G-Bread's mind was a million miles away.
……More accurately, a light-year or two, as the mercenary Duke and his engineer Beldandis followed the crew of the Diomedes through hyperspace. G-Bread was on board the mercenary vessel Diomedes with her Jedi Master Evil Dead Pony. Her new husband Beldandis wasn't far behind, but he most certainly had her undivided attention.
……Until EDP decided to slice the sash off her padawan's waist with a single blade of her double sith lightsaber. G-Bread's trousers slumped to her ankles. "You're not even paying attention, God dammit!" EDP scolded, and G-Bread grimaced and hiked her pants up. She held onto them with one hand and held her training saber ready in the other, grinning up at the demon pony apologetically. EDP sighed and shut down her saber. The red glow that lit the ship's galley faded, and yellow light eased on above their heads. She evaluated her young padawan and shook her head. "There is no emotion. No love or hate, for the Jedi Knight."
……"Will I never become a Jedi Knight?" G-Bread wondered carefully. Choosing words around the white demon pony was like moving the Queen across the chessboard. A wrong move cost you dear. "Since I am in love, have I doomed that fate?"
……EDP smiled. "The rules don't make sense, do they?" She hooked her lightsaber to her belt and meandered off. G-Bread magicked herself a new pair of pants and followed, depositing her training saber on a shelf in the galley wall. EDP strolled across narrow metal gangways that led them between the humming machinery of the ship's engines. It was a decent ride, for a mercenary vessel. It was in better shape than its more famous sister ship, but the pilot of the Diomedes often seemed a few licks short of the Tootsie Roll center. The pretty demon girl had an obvious infatuation with the man, and she didn't bother to hide it. It confused G-Bread, when her Master began spouting Jedi creed that seemed to contradict the very essence of the woman's life. There was a lot about EDP that confused her padawan. "Are the rules the same, paddy-wan, in love and war?" the demon asked into the quiet hum.
……G-Bread pulled her lips back in a tight smile. "I hear all's fair in either."
……EDP's red eyes glared back at her briefly over a slim white shoulder. Long red hair snaked across her back, spilling around the smooth white horns that curved from either side of the demon's head. "If you love in war, G-Bread, you'll die there, too."
……"I see, Master," the girl said, flexing her long, dark wings. "I must separate the two."
……EDP grunted. "It's easier," she drawled, "teaching Jedi than demons."
……As if on cue, a high squeal cut their conversation short. "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedy!!"
……EDP paused on the long metal gangway as the sound of her pet name was shrieked through the walls of the Diomedes. The demon grinned and sprinted across the gangway, with G-Bread close behind. She ducked and tiptoed through guy-mess and peered into the cockpit, with several expected scenarios running through her head.
……The pilot and mercenary Jarod was pressed back against his chair with the look of a tick about to pop. A young red demon was perched on the ship's console in front of him, crouched like a cat down on her haunches, and way too close to Jarod's personal space. "Edy," the white-skinned, blue-haired pilot growled, pointing an accusing finger at the little demon. "She's touching!! She's touching my ship!!!"
……"She's in the ship, Jay," EDP said reasonably, leaning in the doorway. "It'd be hard for her not to."
……"Put her in the docking bay and I'll remedy that!" Jarod shouted, mere seconds away from blowing a brain vein. Typo Demon glanced up from the big red button she was about to push and pouted sorely. She was a cute little demon, with blood-red skin and hair dark as a starless night on a moonless planet.
……EDP strolled up to the console and took very firm hold of one of Typo's red horns and yanked her clear of all the tempting buttons and shiny blinking screens. The young demon sprawled out on the gridded metal floor and howled, and EDP released her in favor of planting herself neatly into the pilot's lap. She stabbed a finger at Typo. "Your next lesson: You leave Jarod to me."
……Typo grinned toothily, and Jarod swung a green-eyed stare at the demon sharing his precious personal space. Demons in training were sometimes rather intolerable to the demons who trained them. Demons weren't the kind to appreciate being fettered down with any sort of responsibility that they didn't ask for, and trainees were usually loads passed down along the ranks. Typo was a special assignment, though, and couldn't be swindled along or trickled down to Apostles of lower rank. Typo was an assignment that left EDP mildly regretting her recent sabbatical to Hell. The Master had assigned this one personally. Other minions squirmed in jealousy: it was a privilege to be trained by the Master Apostle, who was more powerful than most and who had free reign on the mortal world. The Master must have seen great potential in this Typo to assign her to the Master Apostle. What He saw, EDP was still blind too. She hated these tricky, personal lessons! The Master Himself had trained EDP, and had taught her that the best lessons were learned alone. He also taught her that the lessons never ended.
……Jedi accepted a creed. Do this, but don't do that. But, Demons! EDP draped her arms around Jarod's neck and glowered at Typo. Demons were a bitch to train! It was like potty training someone who found inexplicable glee in wetting the floor. EDP couldn't be sure that Typo wouldn't wet the floor.
……Jarod wrapped his non-dominant arm around the demon's slim waist as he leaned forward, his sharp green eyes examining every inch of the computer console. He adjusted a knob here and there with his free hand, muttering expletives to himself. EDP tangled fingers in his long, silky blue hair, thinking he had come along nicely. Her touch no longer sent him into hysterical tantrums. She smiled, pleased at her accomplishment so far, her brilliant work in progress. Her body was a weapon, a seductive toy to manipulate minds that had no defenses against such warfare. The horns on her head were a warning-- she could hide them, by any means of magic she possessed, but didn't. She didn't have to. They followed her despite the warning, and she found amazing delight in that fact.
……Subtle! The Master praised her often for her subtle, effective methods.
……Integration into a world that was devoted to the destruction of darkness had been so easy. Questions arose, of course, from both sides of the dividing line. Everything about her, from her name to her blatant disregard for dress coda to her shameless addiction to Mountain Dew had raised suspicions of her fealty. But, she had passed her trials! She had successes against the Sith lords, with the destruction of a base and the rescue of Jedi and Jedi trainees. She was certainly no Sith! The Dark Jedi didn't understand why someone whose name suggested Evil wouldn't join them. But no, the Dark Jedi were cruel and barbaric, destroying without heart and for the mere sadistic pleasure it provided. Those pleasures were fleeting, and addictive. It was a drug to be cruel, to inflict pain. Any addiction was a weakness, and cruelty was not power.
……EDP's only addictions were Mountain Dew and chocolate pudding.
……But not together. Chocolate and Mountain Dew didn't mix.
……"This cockpit is off-limits to you little freaks!" Jarod was shouting at Typo and G-Bread. "You've had no flight nor engineering training, so you shouldn't be touching anything! You take up space, you don't do anything useful, and I could have three or four crates of Tatooine pistols for your weight!"
……"Oh that's not nice," EDP scolded, poking the pilot in the belly. He grunted, and threw those marvelous green eyes at her. She glanced off and shooed her trainees away. "Stay out of the cockpit before Jarod jettisons you overboard."
……"But that'd be fun!" Typo insisted. "I think it would be like riding a roller coaster!"
……"A what?" Jarod snapped.
……"Out!" EDP roared, and the two quickly scattered.
……Jarod let a low, rumbling growl out through his teeth, then leaned back to get a better view of the demon girl. She was framed in the segments of the window, where stars and celestial bodies streaked past in beams of colorful light. "You've been nothing but trouble," he told her with a sigh, and she smiled.
……"I bet you've never had so much fun."
……Jarod snorted. "I'd rather be making money."
……"You are making money," EDP reminded him.
……Jarod grimaced, shrinking away from her as she said that. "Don't do that," he pleaded. "Don't say that. You make me feel like such a whore!"
……EDP laughed out loud. Jarod propelled her off his lap, having reached the limits of his sensory comfort level, and she slipped into the copilot's seat by his side. She crossed her legs smoothly, one arm draped on the seat's back, and watched the galaxies streak by.
……Jarod was shaking his head. Green eyes regarded her through a sidelong gaze. "Are you really dead?" he asked her.
……EDP laughed, and looked at him. "I was mortal once. I don't remember it. Then I died, and became immortal." She pointed at the horns on her head. "Got these lovely things in the bargain."
……Jarod stared at her fully, contemplating that. "You're a demon."
……"Precisely."
……His eyes narrowed into slits. "Are you really evil?"
……She smiled at him. It was a gesture that offered very little solace.
……"I don't understand," he pressed, leaning forward. The statement was unnecessary; it was painted all over his face. "How can you be evil and a Jedi both?"
……She shrugged.
……"Are you... part of the Dark Side?"
……"No," she waved the idea out of the air between them. "Sith are much too inane for my delicate sensibilities. I know a few, though, who do a pretty good job in their roles." She laced her fingers together and snapped them back, cracking each of the knuckles. Jarod winced. "Besides, 'Darth Evil Dead Pony' just doesn't strike awe into my heart."
……He grimaced. "It does sound a little silly," he admitted.
……"And really, now. How am I supposed to corrupt the good guys by hanging out with the bad guys? It'd be preaching to the choir, figuratively speaking."
……Jarod stared at her with that uncertain face, frowning when he was trying to look noncommittal. She laughed at him, realizing that with each new word out of her mouth he was reevaluating his life expectancy. What he didn't realize was, that if he ever died, he'd have a very good reference to fly on. "So," he said, his voice low and careful. "Your goal is corruption?"
……She smiled at him darkly. "You think my heart is so pure?"
……He shivered, shrinking back in his chair minutely. Her existence went far beyond her physical appearance. She could invade his personal space from where she sat, without moving a finger. "Where is your loyalty?" he whispered. Reminded, that she was more than just a girl and stronger than a Jedi.
……"Where it always was," she told him. "In Hell."
……Jarod faced forward and slumped back into his chair. EDP studied his face. It was a tired one, and one that hid behind careful walls. Beautiful green eyes were distantly focused, which meant his attention was directed inward. Thinking, thinking, considering everything very carefully.
……"You fear having to fight me in the end," she smiled, leaning forward to have a clear view of his disturbed face.
……"I don't know what I fear."
……"You fear, and that is enough." She rested her arms across her knees, gazing up at him girlishly. Becoming the girl and not the devil.
……How could she be both? the pilot wondered. She was frustrating. Complex.
……"Do you know what Hell is, Jarod?" EDP asked him pensively.
……"Place of the damned," he replied automatically.
……"Exactly." EDP stabbed a finger at him. "As a demon I have to manage all those stupid bastards that descend into Hell."
……Jarod frowned.
……"Do you know what Evil is, Jarod?" she asked, red eyes flashing with that eerie glow. When he didn't dare answer, she answered for him. "'Evil' is the opposite of given ethics and morals within a given society. It is the opposite of Mainstream Religion. 'Evil' is whatever a society deems 'wrong' and nonconformist."
……The pilot stared at the demon pony, his mouth hanging open to speak but his mind hurting for anything he could say.
……"A man can be 'bad' and not be Evil. Above all else, he might just be stupid."
……"I think I understand that," Jarod said slowly.
……"Good! That means you're not stupid."
……"Well thanks," he said dryly.
……"Demons and devils have a job," EDP said, relaxing back against the chair and gazing through the cockpit window. "We work damn hard! And they pay us with brimstone and day passes. Constantly testing. Determining those who are weak, and those who will join us in the next existence."
……Jarod rubbed the bridge of his nose, looking spooked. He looked overwhelmed, trying to grasp the depth of the complexities that she spouted so flippantly. EDP watched him in the corner of her vision, smirking some and letting him squirm.
……"I'm going to Hell!" he decided finally.
……EDP shrugged. "It depends on a lot of things. As it stands now, you'll be reincarnated."
……His head snapped around to stare at her, big-eyed. Ah, he had such pretty eyes! She thought that maybe they had been the color of her eyes, when she had been mortal. Maybe that was why she liked them so much. She swirled one long finger through the air in front of her, and sparkly light made a gentle twister that evolved into a cold can of Mountain Dew. She gave it to Jarod and made one for herself.
……"This isn't a temptation, is it?" he asked her warily, eyeing the can in his fist.
……She giggled, popped the tab, and took a long drink. "Nah, that's a present. Nothing in the rulebooks against that!"
……He didn't look convinced, but he drank it anyway.
……"Tell me about yourself, Jay," EDP said wistfully, sipping her drink.
……He looked at her, surprised by that. "Myself?" He laughed soullessly. "I thought you knew all about me."
……"Hardly," she grinned.
……"Well can't you just pick it all out of my head?"
……She looked at him wryly, draping an arm across the chair. "Devil's can't read your mind, Jay. We can read everything but that."
……He blinked at her, then grimaced.
……"Where were you born?" she asked.
……"I don't know."
……Her brows perked. They were three words of any language that spoke volumes within themselves. Three words that provided more information that Jarod might have liked for her to receive. "Who are your parents?"
……He took a short, controlled breath through his nostrils. "I don't know."
……"Orphan?"
……"Something like that."
……Twenty questions! She decided that Jarod was a Gemini. "Do you have a girlfriend?"
……Jarod swallowed. Well now that was a tricky question! The smirk on the demon's face said she knew it, and that there was no weaseling his way out of an answer. "I... spend most of my time alone."
……She smiled. "Are you rich?"
……"That's not fair!" Jarod cried.
……She shrugged. "You're a mercenary. My guess is you make more than enough to suit your lifestyle."
……Jarod glowered at her, uncomfortable with the discussion of his wealth. "Are you rich?" he snapped.
……"I don't need to be," she smiled. He sighed, and they were quiet for a moment. He examined his can of Mountain Dew before taking a sip. Aluminum, a primitive metal, that tended to leach into the substance it contained. A biting, citrusy taste that took a while to get used to, and that didn't really resemble any tropical fruit he had ever encountered. The drink was ladened with an addictive stimulant, caffeine. Warriors and Academy students swore by the drug's ability to heighten brain activity.
……"You told me once," he began slowly, wondering if he should really even say what he was thinking at all, "that you had a boyfriend."
……Her eyes lifted, but not towards him. She smiled. She was startled. "I told you that?"
……"Is it true?"
……"It was," she admitted.
……"Not anymore?"
……She looked at him finally. Looking young and sad, and Jarod wondered how real those appearances were. "I can't be in two places at once. Alas, I am not that powerful! And things change."
……"Who was he?" Jarod wondered, leaning forward and holding the can between his knees. Who could have possibly won this girl's devotion?
……"My Jedi Master's son." EDP shrugged, and glanced off, her eyes glittering. "He fell in love with someone else."
……"Do you regret it?"
……She turned a simple smile at him, and it looked sincere. "A lot has happened since then."
……Jarod return the smile, and they toasted themselves with their cans of Mountain Dew.
……The console began to beep for his attention, and he leaned forward. "We're approaching Naboo," he told the demon pony, hoping that this choice of vacation spot was better than the last. "Time to come out of hyperspace." He punched the ship's intercom on to relay that fact to the others on board, who he mostly thought of as cargo. He'd be happy to drop them off on some backwater planet and never see them ever again, but realized somehow that they were a packaged deal. No matter where EDP claimed her loyalty was, he knew she would never leave those idiots behind. Somehow she had been caught up in things that shouldn't have been possible. He eased the Diomedes out of hyperspace, and the stars seemed to shoot backwards as they became stationary pinpricks of light. As many times as he had jumped space, it was still a dizzying event to witness.
……The pirate's ship seemed to materialize from mere space beside them, well off to their left. Jarod hailed them.
……"How was your trip, Captain?" Duke asked pleasantly. "Was it nearly as annoying and oozing with sap as mine?"
……"You have no idea," Jarod grumbled.
