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What Are You Doing to My Beautiful Creation

author unknown, edited by Traute Klein

Ever wonder what God thinks about the way we are denaturalizing his wonderful creation? Listen to him share his views with St. Francis.

The original conversation came to me as a mailing, but I have edited it severely.

A Conversation

October 4 is the Feast Day of St. Francis, the gang leader who was converted to become the saint who brought the message of peace to all of God's creatures. This little sketch envisions him explaining to God what is happening to his beautiful creation.

The Characters

1. God, the creator of the universe and every living plant and creature in it.
2. St. Francis, the champion of everything which God has created, the preacher of peace and hope. Founder of the Franciscan order of monks.
3. St. Catherine of Siena, She is theauthor of the "Dialogue," conversations between God and the human soul.

Lawns and God



God: Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in North America? What happened to the dandelions, violets, buttercups, I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees, and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

St. Francis: It's the tribes who settled there, Lord, the Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great length to kill them and replace them with grass.

God: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds or bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

St. Francis: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant which crops up in the lawn.

God: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

St. Francis: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.

God: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

St. Francis: Not exactly Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

God: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

St. Francis: No, sir -- just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

God: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

St. Francis: Yes, sir.

God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

St. Francis: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

God: What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stoke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's the natural life cycle.

St. Francis: You'd better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have created a new cycle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

God: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

St. Francis: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

God: And where do they get this mulch?

St. Francis: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

God: Enough! I don't want to think about this any more. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

St. Francis: "Dumb and Dumber," Lord. It's a real stupid movie about . . .

God: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

© Traute Klein, biogardener