Let's start at the beginning,
a little background will show why it's important to me to be there for
others...........if I hadn't had someone to turn to, many times, I don't
know where I would be, or, if I would be at all! I am a 53 year old mother
of 3 sons, Brian, 32, Ralph, 30, Jeff, 28 and the grandmother of 8, Katie,
6, Jessi, 6, Timothy, 6, Brianna 5, Jakie 4, Patrick 3, Kayleigh 25 months, and Darian 21 months.
My daughter-in-law, Kimberly
is the greatest gift in the world. Her entire life is dedicated to being
a mother to my grandchildren and a wife to my son, and she settles for
nothing less than being the best. I adore my family, although I don't spend
as much time with them as I would like. My son Ralph is no longer with
his significant other, but I still love her to pieces, she's a wonderful
girl, also named Kim, that is a wonderful mother to my granddaughter, Katie.
My youngest man's significant other is also a wonderful girl, very bright,
witty and full of love and a desire for a "family" that will always remain
together. I pray for their success, always.
I have 2 sisters I am very
close to, Cathy 49, and Ethel 42. My brother in law, Ethel's husband, was
in a horrendous accident and is now a quadriplegic, meaning he can do nothing
NOTHING, not even scratch his nose. If ever my faith in God was to be shaken,
it was then, but because I learned a lot through the bible, I found that
bad things will happen to "all" people, not the bad only! My sister is
a saint, God bless her, she has dedicated her life to living her marriage
vows, "in sickness and in health."
My dad is alive and well,
my mom passed away 9 years ago, a fact that can still bring tears to my
eyes, God I miss my mother!!
I was married to my first
husband for 23 years. The marriage was not a good one in the beginning,
my husband had a severe drinking problem and I needed to be with someone
with just that kind of a disease, take the focus off of my problems and
put the attention on his,..........naturally, anyone could see that "if
he were to quit drinking, our life would be wonderful, I'm the BEST wife
an mom and he is a bum when drinking." Hmmmmm, NOT SO!! He got sober and
stayed sober on and off for the last 16 years of our marriage. The last
year of our marriage was probably the best.
But, it just wasn't good
enough. I love the man to death, like a brother, I just don't want to spend
my life with him. And when he got sober, I had to look at MY character
defects which couldn't be blamed on his drinking any longer. Uh oh, my
defenses were gone, I couldn't blame him anymore!! So, I worked on those
defects, long and hard, becoming honest with me was one of the hardest
things I have ever done in my life. Sometimes it still is, but it taught
me many things, the most important of all is " without honesty, life is
a lie, a sham, and a shameful waste!" During my years of "self awakening",
in my late 30's, I went back to school, got my college degree in mental
health and even became certified to run group therapy!! I was so proud,
I still am.
Then I remarried. My husband
is 20 years my elder and the best thing that has ever happened to me, and
I mean that from the depths of my soul. Our life is simple, we have very
little money, but much, much love and contentment.
I have more emotional security
than I have ever had, and I have self-esteem, pride, self worth, things
I worked extremely hard to get, and I got all those things from talking
to someone I could trust, listening with the ears to know that whatever
criticism I received was constructive and not meant to hurt me at all but
to help me to see things in a different perspective.
I have been there for many
friends through the years, having been heavily involved in Al-Anon for
years, sponsoring many people that had similar problems to my own. (Actually,
almost all the problems in the world are the same because they can only
be changed by "us" not others.) I've had many people tell me I helped them
tremendously and nothing in the world is more rewarding to me than having
another human being say "thanks for being there for me, because of you,
I have helped myself to become a more secure, happy person." What they
say is true, "the more you give, the more you receive." And, I believe
that God's greatest command is to "love one another as I have loved you."
That is how we got to meet
here on this wonderful page, a place that is a warm, loving secure place
in my heart, and I invite you to come in, sit with me, share with me, talk
to me, laugh with me, love with me, and help each other to get through
the struggles of life that can bring laughter, tears, joy, pain, and mostly
an awareness of what gifts surround us each and every day. Those weeds
others may pull up and toss away can produce beautiful flowers that shouldn't
have been tossed aside at all! |