2002, 2 hrs 5 min., Rated R for some language and brief nudity.�Dir: Alexander Payne. Cast: Jack Nicholson (Warren Schmidt), Hope Davis (Jeannie Schmidt), June Squibb (Helen Schmidt), Kathy Bates (Roberta Hertzel), Dermot Mulroney (Randall Hertzel), Howard Hesseman (Larry Hertzel), Len Cariou (Ray Nichols).

Dear Ndugu,

I'm writing to you (even though you're fictitious and merely an artistic device in the movie and now for my review) to talk about a movie you are familiar with and part of, About Schmidt, a fabulous film with some truly touching moments coupled with plenty of laughs.

It gave me a similar feeling as The Straight Story (1999), another midwestern tale of soul-searching, with Richard Farnsworth on a lawnmower, compared to Nicholson's introspective journey in a 35-foot Winnebago Adventurer after his wife dies. They're also both quiet movies, moving at a leisurely pace but never feeling slow.

I tell no lies, Ndugu, Jack Nicholson is spot on as Warren Schmidt, newly retired and feeling like a cow on his way to slaughter; his usefulness to the world seemingly spent. He loves his wife, but tires of her mannerisms (as any relationship has), which leaves daughter Jeannie. As Schmidt told you, he adores Jeannie, and he lights up just at the hearing of her name when his wife calls him to the phone. Still uninspired, he looks to keep busy, but when his wife (you remember her, the spirit of their relationship) dies he falls into depression and becomes a mess, with clothes tossed about and food left in all nooks and crannies. He begins life with a new purpose, which is traveling the highways searching for his past life, and the area's historical stops.

You probably haven't heard of the director, Ndugu, but it's only because you missed Alexander Payne's work in the acclaimed Election, which stars Reese Witherspoon and deserves your attention when you're able to see rated R pictures. A native Nebraskan, Payne loves his countryside and shows it with pride, much as you would show off your village in Tanzania. Sorry about that eye infection, by the way, and I hope one of the nuns teaches you to read before you turn seven. Children in the States learn years before, but wouldn't appreciate a story as About Schmidt. They'd probably be bored. Of course, you'd most likely prefer a meal besides stale bread and rice, and if you're lucky, a glass of milk.

I've seen in "National Geographic" several times, so you must have in your village, many women with drooping breasts in your village, Ndugu. Still, we're not quite as used to it in the States, so the audience was quite atwitter when Kathy Bates appeared nude. Gotta give Bates credit, she's a got spunk, and a fine, fine acting style. Nicholson is similarly fearless, showing off his sagging skin, wrinkles and paunch as its own storyline.

Also Ndugu, Schmidt mentioned his daughter's (Hope Davis, full of angst) upcoming nuptials in his last letter to you, and he was very honest about her "nincompoop" of a fiancee, Randall (Dermot Mulroney), a waterbed salesman with a bad sense of timing, but a good heart. Still, Ndugu, you're lucky that you don't have to worry about appearance, with little hair, and you only have to wear a pair of shorts and a T-shirt every day (forgetting it's because you can't afford shoes), because Randall has bad hair, bad clothes, bad teeth and a bad car, no matter how many missionaries tell you that El Caminos are still "cool."

I have to love a movie that utilizes Howard Hesseman (Bates' ex-husband in the movie), who you may remember fondly from his days on "WKRP in Cincinnati" as hip DJ 'Doctor Johnny Fever'. What? You don't get TV Land in Tanzania? Sorry. Hopefully your village will get a satellite soon. You'll get it later, but after this bit of amusement and recognition of Hesseman, I now DEMAND a "WKRP" reunion.

When you can read, Ndugu, and you read the subtitles of the movie as it plays in your area, you'll appreciate the dialogue as genuine. I found that ever more so as Schmidt arrives in Denver for his daughter's wedding, and he, Jeannie and Randall spend a few minutes discussing trivial directions to Bates' home. It was perfect - and rang true to me - as countless times I've run through the same little discussions with friends and family, whether to pass the time or research.

You'll also laugh, Ndugu, passing the time from civil wars and starvation in your homeland, enjoying a couple of hours of diversion with subtle humor, physical humor, dark humor and characters that are relatable, yet a little off kilter.

Just one last piece of advice, Ndugu. No matter what people say, it's not that "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Poppycock. The reality is, When you can't say anything nice to say about someone, make up something positive and be nice, so that everyone feels a little better. Doesn't matter if you mean it, they'll admire you and will others, and you'll feel a little more peace by not causing conflict.