2002, 1 hr 30 min., Rated R for sexual content and language. Dir: Mark Romanek. Cast: Robin Williams (Seymour "Sy" Parrish), Connie Nielsen (Nina Yorkin), Michael Vartan (Will Yorkin), Dylan Smith (Jake Yorkin), Eriq La Salle (Det. James Van Der Zee), Erin Daniels (Maya Burson), Paul H. Kim (Yoshi Araki), Gary Cole (Sav-Mart Manager Bill Owens).

Figured I might as well see something scary on Friday the 13th, and Robin Williams playing a creepy, stalking photo clerk was more shocking than any conventional horror flick. Seriously, when Williams, as part of his consistent narration about how important photographs are to the American family tells us that "snapshot was originally a hunting term," I about peed in my pants.

From this you can deduct through your masterful reasoning skills (really, I'm not just trying to butter you up to read my reviews all the time and stop making fun of me), that this isn't a Robin Williams comedy. There are a few laughs here, but most of the time they're slight titters regarding an uncomfortable situation.

Williams is "Sy the Photo Guy," as dubbed by stalked-kid-of-interest Dylan Smith, playing Jake, son to Connie Nielsen and Michael Vartan as the Yorkins, Sy's favorite All-American family. Sy has been obsessed with the family for years, and you wonder why no one but the husband gets the willies when Sy's around. Sy's the first guy where if he went off and killed a dozen people in the store, you'd hear everyone say, "Yeah, he was creepy. I wondered what would set him off to eat all the hamsters in the store." Unfortunately for lonely Sy, when he says that people feel loved when they have their picture taken, that "someone cares enough about me to take my picture," he's not talking about his loser life.

The photo guys I use could care less about me or my pictures, which should tell me something. Hey, I'm worth stalking, you lazy Wal-Mart photo "technicians"! Why don't you memorize my address and make extra copies of my happy, well-traveled and cute family photos to pin on your walls?! And sure, the Wal-Mart guys probably love their jobs, but I doubt they get in a tizzy over a +3 error in the amount of blue in the mixture, and I don't even know what that means!

Regarding the actual performances and direction, I have nothing but praise. Williams really turns it on, so much so that you almost want to root for him, but not personally since you're afraid he'd fancy you for "family" support. The Yorkin clan, Nielsen, Vartan and young Smith are solid if restrained. They're the objects of Sy's love, but it's clear that they have a lot more life for the photos than in reality, which is actually part of Sy's point. We don't take pictures of things we want to forget.

Williams is so creepy and the film was so uncomfortable that I entertained thoughts of leaving before the movie ended, which would've been a mistake. The climax is where the film wraps it all up exquisitely. A half-hour in, if I didn't review movies I would've been on my way to Blockbuster for another choice. I wasn't going to recommend the movie and hoped it wouldn't give me nightmares. But the climax is a whole 'nother story. It's actually pretty darn good, and made up for every awkward feeling in the first hour.

Still, thankfully One Hour Photo is only an hour-and-a-half long. One can think the word "creepy" in his head only so many times, with every moment frozen in time like a photo before turning into Sly and letting out a silent scream.