2002, 1 hr 35 min., Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action violence and some sensuality.�Dir: Chuck Russell. Cast: Dwayne Johnson/The Rock (Mathayus, The Scorpion King), Steven Brand (Memnon), Kelly Hu (Sorceress Cassandra), Michael Clarke Duncan (Balthazar).

It's summertime, so my three-week hiatus from seeing movies at the cineplex shall now be churned into four months of enjoying fun, meaningless popcorn flicks. Of course, summer now starts in April, this year with The Scorpion King, a spin-off of the popular The Mummy franchise.

The Rock (real name Dwayne Johnson, a former U. of Miami football player) attempts to become the young generation's muscle-bound action hero, as Arnold Schwarzenegger did in the mid-80s. And I can say that Dwayne is equal to Arnold's talents from that period. Take that for what it's worth, but this may help: The Scorpion King is just a big-budget B movie, which is just fine if you accept that going in. And it's short, clocking in at 90 minutes, so you don't have time to get bored.

PLOT: Yadda yadda, a trio of Arkadians, led by Mathayus (Rock), are hired to kill the sorcerer helping evil Memnon ravage the Northern African landscape. But do you really care about the plot? Seriously, it doesn't matter one lick, because this is a movie about action, full of cheesy roll-your-eyes humor.

What does "summer movie season" really mean? Substantial death count, and Scorpion King delivers the goods, with lots of squishy impaling and tragic grunts from countless hapless and now dead warriors. The Rock is truly The People's Champion, whether on WWF or on the big screen, easily dispatching incompetent worker bees of his enemy, all the while zooming in on The Raised Eyebrow That Has Sold Million$. The final scene is full of wrestling-like goodies, from fire swords (I'd actually watch wrestling to see this instituted) to throwing ash in the eyes your opponent, leaving him screaming and scratching at his eyes, and improbable returns from the brink of defeat. All of which work just fine.

Naturally, though, the filmmakers casually ignore that in the future, as The Mummy Returns deals with, The Scorpion King becomes a bad, bad man bent on world domination.

Ooh, pretty sorceress. Kelly Hu shows plenty of skin, at least as much as The Rock, except that as a PG-13 movie all her naughty bits are artfully covered by just the right amount of hair and cloth. Rats.

Michael Clarke Duncan is a long way from The Green Mile and an Oscar nomination. As the only other recognizable cast member, he stoops to the B-movie level of acting, and is truly horrible, as he should be. Is that talent to be bad, or is it coincidental as he tries to be an action hero? Maybe he should stick to drama, despite his size, which dictates to Hollywood that he plays more action roles than serious. Too bad.

At least the bad guy, Memnon (Steven Brand) is dutifully vile (which, rearranged, spells "evil"! I don't know why I just figured this out.).

Why can't I have a harem? There are many porn sites and "Girls Gone Wild" videos, so I know there are plenty of females willing to devote themselves to a life of degradation, so what's wrong with living in my plus palace, wallowing in lovely fountains and occasionally feeding me grapes? I need a ruling on this. And don't give me that PC crap, enjoyable sexist flicks like The Scorpion King are not the movies to start carping about women's liberation.