2002, 1 hr 30 min., Rated PG-13 for violent sequences and some sensuality. Dir: Corey Yuen. Cast: Jason Statham (Frank Martin), Qi Shu (Lai), Matt Schulze (Wall Street), Fran�ois Berl�and (Inspector Tarconi).

After a little too much estrogen from 8 Women the other day, it�s time to repair my system with some major tough-talking, masculine butt-kicking. Forget that the title The Transporter makes it sound like the �Star Trek: The Next Generation� episode where Scottie is trapped in the transporter for 80 years, the movie makes up for it the entire way.

Let�s get it on! But remember to follow the rules.

Rule No. 1: A deal�s a deal.

Any movie with credits which contain 1/3 of the cast as �Giant Thug,� �Little Thug,� �Thug #1,� etc., has no pretensions about what it is. The Transporter is a movie for guys who like movies, and takes it up a notch. There are car chases, �splosions, bullets, sexy babes and plenty of fighting. Lots of fighting. Fisticuffs break out every few minutes, and the filmmakers make proper use of every prop in the room to great effect, right out of a Southeast Asian martial arts flick.

The stunt work also deserves a nod, since Statham�s stunt man worked overtime in the air, under the sea, dodging bullets and through the streets of Nice, France (the entire film takes place in the southern region of the country) in an opening car chase that jets the adrenalin in any moviegoer to excitable levels, and I�m sure worth every penny to BMW.

Rule No. 2: No names.

It�s not a Jackie Chan movie, nor Jet Li. No, this is for the European martial arts set, with a guy most of you haven�t seen, or seen very little. Jeremy Statham was in Snatch and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, but there was little indication that he could play the cool criminal whose hands and feet are lethal weapons. Statham oozes coolness as the ex-military special force (singular in that he does just fine on his own, emphasis on special), and one never doubts that he can take on ten guys wielding pipes at once, and come out victorious.

The supporting cast is made up of names you�ve probably never heard of, starting with cutie Qi Shu as the damsel in distress. It�s a guy movie, so she doesn�t have much to do other than shriek and look sexy in dripping wet undies. I�m not asking for more; why should you?

The bad guy, played by Matt Schulze (Fast and the Furious), in typical guy movie fashion, is really bad. Pure evil. No regard for human life, even if they work for him. He�s so sleek and good-looking (you know, for a guy), that you just want Statham to smack him around and rub his face in wet cement.

The best support in The Transporter is Fran�ois Berl�and (you don�t know him, either) as the winking Inspector who watches out for Statham. I would say that he�s the only truly �good� guy in the movie, but then again he did look the other way as Statham did bad things for goodness� sake, so let�s just say that everyone accentuates the positive while doing the negative.

Rule No. 3: Don�t open the package.

The tagline for the movie is �Rules are made to be broken.� So break rule No. 3. Open this package. Forget some of the cheesy acting and eye-rolling dialogue, because the rest is more than worth your money. Seriously, I actually scrawled �awesome� on my note pad during an extended fight scene in a bus station.