Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, humans and super-mutated-humans alike are flocking in droves to see the inaugural extravagant summer flick of 2003. I relate to you that my reconnaissance mission to the local theater was successful (I always get the tough assignments). Intel (me, and no de-evolution jokes on my behalf) reports that X2: X-Men United is better than the first X-Men, but does that say more about the original than the sequel?

The first X-Men was fine as a popcorn flick, but utterly forgettable and I never saw it after the initial screening on opening day a few years ago. That's a problem. I should have watched it again before seeing X2, because it doesn't remind us what happened, and I was a little lost while trying to remember what certain characters did and what befell our heroes in the climax.

The last week I've been on edge, easily annoyed and feeling lonely. Come to think of it, a little like Wolverine. Sorry, his name is Logan. Problem is, I don't have an indestructible exoskeleton and knives that come out of my hands to vent my frustration on local evildoers. I have to make do with a steely-eyed stare at the lady who takes up three parking spots by the mailbox, when I'd rather pop her tires and lecture her on common decency.

Logan was the main focus of the first X-Men, but while his story is clearly the most compelling and Hugh Jackman has the best acting chops among the mutant heroes in the sequel, his story is just part of the bigger conspiracy as he deals with personal demons.

X2 contains several layers that allow the audience a more intellectual take on the film, something the first was unable to offer since it had to spend a lot of time introducing us to the characters and the world in which they live. And like the first, it is very heavy-handed in lecturing us on how we aren't tolerant of those different than us. *Yawn *

From the very start, X2 promises to dazzle the audience with a scene of Nightcrawler whipping each and every guard on his way to deliver a message to the president. Not seen in the first, this mutant is a religious German circus performer who teleports in an amazing effect of puff of blue. Alan Cumming's mutant is uber-cool and by far the star.

Changing the subject - if there ever was one - shouldn't it be politically incorrect to call them "mutants?" Perhaps we should be more sensitive, such as "evolution-enhanced," or "genetically different."

Anyway, the tagline says that "The time has come for those who are different to stand united," meaning that baddies Magneto (Ian McKellan and Mystique (John Stamos' wife) work with the good guys to take down Brian Cox's rascally military leader with a vendetta against mutants. His character has more depth than usually seen in summer popcorn flicks, and Cox has the talent to match.

Anna Paquin returns as Rogue (she absorbs the life force of any human she touches) and is relegated to the sidelines. I don't care. She's grown up quite nicely, and personally I found her more voluptuous eye candy than Halle Berry's Storm. Paquin is attached to boyfriend Bobby, a.k.a. Iceman, and spends most of the movie tackling teen angst issues, such as how they can kiss without killing each other.

Elsewhere, McKellan and Patrick Stewart as Professor X once again provide the solid foundation as the elders who communicate entirely too friendly as rivals, and draw the attention of each syllable by their younger foundlings.

One disappointment in character revelation is that babe Famke Janssen's job as telepathic/telekenetic Jean Grey spends the entire movie looking confused - a lot like Deanna Troi in Star Trek: The Next Generation. Maybe Patrick Stewart schooled Janssen in "smelling the fart" to perfect this acting of sensing things the audience can't relate.

No matter. I'm not sure how you can show someone sensing an event, so we'll hope for this to improve by X3, which is a certainty.

X2 is an enjoyable summer adventure, so take in the action, the intrigue, the special effects, nifty gadgets, the multiple character arcs and even a little romance, with a bucket of popcorn that's been mutated with gobs of imitation butter.