1999, 2 hrs 1 min., Rated R for intense violence and gore, a strong sex scene and language. Dir: Peter Hyams. Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger (Jericho Cane), Gabriel Byrne (The Man), Kevin Pollack (Chicago), Robin Tunney (Christine York), CCH Pounder (Det. Margie Francis), Rod Steiger (Father Kovak).

So I went to see End of Days and while researching the actors and directors I found the best plot description listed on the Internet Movie Database: "At the end of the century, Satan visits New York in search of a bride. It's up to an ex-cop who now runs an elite security outfit to stop him." Quick, to the point, and does this sound like a Schwarzenegger film or what?!

Do you mind if I just call him Arnold? The last name is so long and difficult to type, I don't want to fool with it right now. He's like a Brazilian soccer player, anyway. If I say, "Did you see Arnold on Leno last night," you'll know who I'm talking about. Thanks for understanding.

The trailers might fool you into thinking the film has a touch of horror or thriller, but you'll enjoy Days more if you go in thinking it will be a typical Arnold summer blockbuster popcorn flick. That's what it works best as. If you attempt to think about the theology it will blow your mind because it's so silly, and there's no horror. But there are plenty of explosions and gunplay. The early afternoon audience was all the proof I needed of who Arnold draws to the theater: five guys, all solo, one black and four white, all but one between the ages of 24 and 30, the other being about 60.

As in two other fall releases that have been criticized for twisting theology or history, Dogma and The Messenger: The Story of Arc, if you pan End of Days because of how it uses religion, then you need to stop watching movies. If you trust Tinseltown with using religion or history correctly, then there are few films that you won't hate.

One reason I couldn't hate End of Days was because I like the cast. Arnold, Gabriel Byrne, Robin Tunney, Kevin Pollack and Rod Steiger are all capable talents and fill their character well. Even the minor minor characters fit the bill, delivering a few worthy lines that give a boost to the main characters.

Then again, I'm not a talent scout, so it takes a very bad performance for me to come out against an actor (i.e. Denise Richards in The World is Not Enough).

Arnold delivers a typical, stoic performance. He grimaces frequently, clinches his teeth and grunts during fights while handling large, heavy weaponry with ease. Here's a bonus, though. Arnold gets pummeled a few times, badly, spilling a lot of blood. This shouldn't be too much of a surprise, given that he's battling Satan.

Speaking of The Man, as he's listed in the credits, Gabriel Byrne isn't bad. He almost adds a touch of class to the evil bum, blowing up things at will and having a menage a trois with a mother and daughter in a creepy threesome. Okay, so that's not classy, but he is just so suave and collected while doing it!

Robin Tunney (The Craft) represents the damsel in distress in Days, and is a mighty attractive one to boot. Then again, aren't they always? Camryn Manheim is never the one in trouble, is she? Nope, it's always a cutie, because the movie wouldn't make $30 million its first weekend if it were Manheim. Actually, I would go just to see how the filmmakers pull it off. But Tunney is sufficiently freaked out by her situation, asking how they're going to stop The Man from finding her, "What am I supposed to do, get a restraining order?"

So should you see it? Why not? But leave your mind at the door and enjoy what's on screen. Don't ever, ever say, "But that doesn't make sense" or ask, "Why?" Work with me. I'm only trying to boost your moviegoing experience.