1999, 2 hrs., Rated PG-13 for comic action violence and crude humor. Dir: Kinka Usher. Cast: William H. Macy, Ben Stiller, Janeane Garofalo, Hank Azaria, Paul Reubens, Wes Studi, Kel Mitchell, Greg Kinnear, Geoffrey Rush, Claire Forlani.

I can only chalk up Mystery Men in the category of "Good ideas that didn't come to fruition."

The premise is promising and the cast full of solid stars, but there was something missing: likeable characters, humor, a sensible script and compelling action.

The visuals offer quaint contrasts, ranging from the dark Champion City, a look-alike of Gotham City, complete with incredibly tall (and fake-looking) skyscrapers which the camera zooms in on when locating our heroes. This Batman parody was amusing, but the director quickly ended the comparisons and went in a different direction that reminded me of no comic book action movie as it should have, being a spoof of the genre.

Mystery Men is based on a comic book of the same name and premise, but I'm not a comic book reader and thus have never read the series. But that's okay, since the majority of my readers most likely haven't, either.

The best character, Captain Amazing (Kinnear in his usual furrowed-eyebrow role), the ultimate superhero of Champion City, is played out early. Amazing is a victim of his own success, having put away most of the more sinister villains, thus reduced to rescuing senior citizens from lowly criminals. This doesn't make his sponsors happy, and rumors are that Pepsi may pull out. His character loses steam after ten minutes, and thankfully -- swipe for spoiler: he dies in the middle of the film without much fanfare.

Another promising concept that went nowhere in Mystery Men was showing the everyday lives of our heroes, such as what they do in the daylight at normal jobs. The Shoveler has a family, the Blue Radja is actually a bratty American who still lives with mom, and Mr. Furious works at a junk yard, consistently bossed around by who appears to be the "Where's the beef" lady raised from the dead. These brief glances were suplanted by the numerous shots in a diner where the group debates its existence and from the looks of things orders Tuna on Rye with George Castanza.

With these lifestyle glances, the director misses an opportunity to paint a broader picture of each main hero, providing the audience with a motivation as to why they continue to fight crime--poorly--for 15 years, or how they came to join forces.

As for the semi-stellar cast, without Janeane Garofalo, I may have fallen asleep in the theater. She spiced up the "rag tag" group of underachieving superheroes, and just in time because I was beginning to place Mystery Men below Batman Returns in my "movies not ever worth seeing again even if told to kick the wall with toothpicks in my toenails" category.

William H. Macy is entertaining as in every movie he makes, but I'm a big fan so maybe I was prejudiced. Ben Stiller is forced until near the end, but too much of his material for the first three-thirds of the picture was repetitive. Yeah, so he has a bad temper and is unable to trade witty banter. A couple of laughs turns into yawns after an hour.

As for the others, Hank Azaria adds up to merely annoying, with no material worthy of being presented in front of Mrs. Macintosh's preschool class, let alone "Evening At the Improv".

The Invisible Boy (Mitchell) was suitable, but had little impact on the film. Likewise with the Sphinx (Studi), who at least had some great lines, spewing hollow advice/pep talks that aren't available in "Bartlett's Quotations." Examples: "He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions," or "Sometimes the true hero is the one who runs away."

This ultimately leads me to Paul Reubens' role as The Spleen. Really, what is a good superhero spoof without a man who has near-lethal gas? Apparently a good one. I trust this character appeased the fifth graders in the audience, but it left me rolling my eyes and wishing Reubens ugly face would die a quick death at the hands of the demonic creature from the Marines' TV commercials. Farting won't help him there!

Geoffrey Rush, the respected Australian actor (seen in '98's Shakespeare in Love and Elizabeth), HAS to be paying the bills as Casanova Frankenstein, a deranged disco freak who wants to take over the city. If Rush took this because he thought the script was great, yadda yadda yadda, he needs a better agent and/or common sense.

Claire Forlani, the uber-babe from Meet Joe Black and Mallrats, has a very brief stint as the waitress and Stiller's love interest; the only normal person in the film. I anticipated more in terms of a reason to be on screen, but it turns out her role was pointless. A good actress wasted.

There were some humorous moments where I chuckled, but never really laughed out loud as I expected with such a cast of comedians. The tryout scene was amusing, but not enough to sustain the remainder of such a dull picture.

I can only blame the director, Kinka Usher, making his motion picture debut. He is the man behind the milk mustache and the Taco Bell (so now we have an explanation for Reubens' farting character) chihuahua commercials, which proves Mystery Men would have made a great skit but for a two hour production it could use some spicier dialogue and action.