1999, Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action violence, some sexuality and innuendo. Dir: Michael Apted. Cast: Pierce Brosnan (James Bond 007), Sophie Marceau (Elektra King), Denise Richards (Dr. Christmas Jones), Robert Carlyle (Renard), Judi Dench (M), Robbie Coltrane (Valentin Zukovsky), Samantha Bond (Miss Moneypenny), Desmond Llewelyn (Q), John Cleese (R).

Everyone loves a Bond movie. And those who claim to dislike the successful enterprise are lying to themselves. There's plenty of suspenseful action, cool gadgets, a stud as the main character and several scantily clad babes with sexually suggestive names surrounding him. And the first moments, with the theme music and the image of Bond shooting that white hole darting about, it's very refreshing and gets you in the mood for an enjoyable two hours.

But, even though for the most part I liked The World is Not Enough, the 19th installment, because of the aforementioned items, I really don't think I'll see it again in the theater; maybe in ten years during a TBS marathon (shameless Turner Broadcasting plug). There seemed to be something missing. Maybe it was the lack of suspense, the terribly bad acting of Denise Richards, I don't know. The film just didn't grab me, and I don't care how many sharp objects my Bond-obsessed older brother will now fling in my direction.

The open action sequence that Bond movies are famous for could be the feature itself. It lasts a lengthy twenty minutes and has more exciting action than the meat of the picture. The title song is Garbage. No, it doesn't stink. That's the name of the band. The song is pretty good and the video features plenty of curvy naked women dipped in oil. Does anyone wonder why men love Bond films?

Pierce Brosnan is still devilishly charming, even though many of his witticisms fell flat. For the most part they hit their mark, but some received absolutely no response from the packed audience behind me and others were greeted by intense groaning. But, I still think Brosnan makes a good Bond, debonair and strapping enough to pass for a heroic spy.

John Cleese of Monty Python fame is introduced as R, the dearly loved Q's future heir to the MI6 gadget throne. I would like to have seen more of Cleese, since he is only briefly in TWINE in order to get us acquainted with his character for the next few films. Q jumps in and out quickly as well, delivering one or two quips before Bond has to leave.

Robbie Coltrane returns as the former KGB agent Valentin Zukovsky, and again gives a solid performance as one of the best supporting characters in recent Bond memory.

Robert Carlyle, of Full Monty and Trainspotting fame, is your typical Bond baddie: they all have their quirks. Odd Job carried a decapitating bowler, Jaws had a mouth of steel, Carlyle's Renard has a bullet lodged in his brain that renders him impervious to pain. But, this bullet will eventually kill him so he's also a manic depressive bad guy. Carlyle is fine, but not particularly threatening. Like Odd Job and Jaws, though, Renard is just a means to an end for the actual bad guy, whom I won't reveal.

Sophie Marceau is stunning as the newest Bond babe, Elektra King. She's terribly attractive and convincing in the different aspects her role demands. Marceau also adds a touch of class, in that French "ooh-la-la" kind of way. If only I could be so positive about the other Bond babe in TWINE, which I'll get into below. With Judi Dench, it's nice to see such world-class talent.

Okay, now I have to get into negatives:

The locations could be exotic, but no, I was neither intrigued nor was I shown anything of interest. Baku? Seriously, who cares about Baku? Azerbaijan is neither attractive nor fascinating unless you love oil fields.

Istanbul sounded promising, but we didn't see any of it except a tiny island castle-like structure that was Alcatraz at 1/100 scale. Bond spent more time there and we saw more in 1963's From Russia With Love. And every time someone said "Istanbul" the song from They Might Be Giants popped in my head. Instanbul was Constantinople/Now it's Istanbul not Constantinople/Why'd they change it I can't say/People just like it better that waaaay.

Which brings me to one of my main problems with TWINE: the action sequences are tired. One takes place on the docks, supposedly, but in reality you can tell it is a set on a soundstage where all explosions and mayhem can be carefully coordinated. It was too easy.

The same goes for the submarine action. It took place in a tiny, cramped soundstage--as a sub would be in real life--so I couldn't figure out why Bond couldn't beat the crap out of the bad guy. Sure Renard doesn't feel pain but that doesn't stop you from breaking his neck. Do that, and it doesn't matter if he feels anything!

There is a decent ski battle that's a little different, as Bond fights off four paragliding snowmobiles. And the action underground in the Russian nuclear bunker isn't bad, either.

The gadgets in TWINE are unoriginal and rarely used. The car looks nice, but we never get to see him put it to good use. A remote? Saw it in the last film. Missile launcher to blow up helicopter? Saw it 20 years ago, and that car was also a submarine. Are they running out of ideas? Probably not, because the little black boat in the open sequence was very cool, quick and maneuverable, impossible to sink and is able to dive under water. Not to mention, the car did have six cupholders, something MI6 should pass on to General Motors.

The top of the bad heap, though, is set in gold and has a choir of demons sounding the praise of bad acting, delivered by Denise Richards, sex object extraordinaire. I hope Denise puts the money she made from this film into a great equity fund, because such a piss-poor performance in such a high-profile movie enterprise is a career killer. Not one of her lines was delivered without me wincing in pain at how agonizing it was to have to listen to her drivel that someone somewhere calls 'acting.'

So let's sum up how I feel about Denise: Modeling? Oh, please yes. Acting? *Hack*Cough*Wheeze* Please, no more! Maybe Pamela Anderson Lee can find a spot for lovely Denise on V.I.P., a T&A program that promotes bad acting because it knows exactly what the audience wants.

This just isn't a particularly memorable Bond adventure, like the previous product, Tomorrow Never Dies. Is the formula getting tired? No. MGM just needs to have patience and wait on a great script in order to provide the locations, villain and babes that will make keep the franchise alive. Keep Brosnan, though.