Hello! Welcome to my web site. My name is Hasmeen Pistachio and I am the Supreme Commander of Patalone (the island, the country, and city named Patalone by the Bay).

Patalone is a small island in the South Pacific Ocean. It is not the same thing as a calzone and the island is not edible (please stop thinking the island is a food). Of course, Patalone has a unique variety of foods, which is characterized by frequent and ample use of the Patalone clam. The Patalone clam is only found in the Patalone Bay, and if you have never tried one, you don't know what you are missing. But I digress...

I made all my money investing through Discover Brokerage, and now I run a rural tow truck service because I like helping people, and I also read Barron's magazine. During the 1700s the island was used by the British empire as a prison colony, sort of like Australia but smaller. During the 1800s, the British operated the island as a colony to extract the ample fish and clam resources. During the early 1900s, the the fish and clams had been largely depleted and the island was only sparsely inhabited. In 1995, I purchased the island from the British government using the money I made from investing. I had a great deal of difficulty trying to decide on a name for the island. It came down to Patalone vs. Fat Albert Island. I chose Patalone and the rest is history.

Patalone was a peaceful island until the neighboring island of Liberon began its saber rattling. In 1997, Liberon declared war on Patalone, and we have been at war ever since. If you ever meet someone from Liberon, tell him that he is a bastard. We suspect the Liberons are receiving weapons from Fidel Castro. Inexplicably, the US government has denied our requests for support. We suspect that Castro has threatened to cut off Bill Clinton's supply of cigars if the US were to support Patalone. Therefore, we need your support.

Anyways, welcome to the Patalone National Army web site.

Regards,