The following is not an actual 'Supertown Challenge' script; it is a parody. We wrote it as a tribute to the one and only Colin Mochrie, who has always been so sweet to all the Whosers.
And he is, in fact, sweet to all his fans. At one taping, there were a bunch of younger girls. One of which was a big WL fan, a couple of other fans, the others mostly their friends. During a break Bruce Pirrie (writer / producer / and guy Ryan made fun of during one quiz show) asked which was better, Hanson or Colin. We replied Colin ... but he was talking to the girls behind us, some in Hanson shirts. Afterwards, when they all got a picture with Colin (Jessie at the camera *L*) we joked about his new fan base, and the conversation turned to comments a big brawl between us and his "new fans" ... some supplied by Colin. So it's all his fault *L*
And when discussing this in the chat room, Julie joked that the Whosers and Hanson fans should square off on STC. Lori and Jessie loved the idea, and here is the result. We hope you enjoy it. And Colin, if you ever should come across this while web surfing ... please remember that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery! It's all done out of love!
GRAPHIC FADES UP OVER BLACK:
'The following program is purely fictional. Any similarity to real places, events, and people living or dead, is purely coincidental'
FADE OUT;
OPENING:
MUSIC CUE: GAME SHOW MUSIC
AUDIENCE CLAPS THE BEAT. SET IS BACK LIT ONLY FROM SET LIGHTS IN RANDOM SEQUENCE. THE SUPERTOWN CHALLENGE SIGN IS LIT BUT NOT SEQUENCING. THE LIGHT FROM A FOLLOW SPOT ROAMS THROUGH THE SET. THE TWO TEAMS AND THE HOSTS ARE IN SILHOUETTE, HOLDING A POSE.
LIGHTS UP ON TABLEAU OF THE WHOSERVILLE TEAM
Town Historian Jessie Entendre!
JESSIE IS BOUNCING IN HER SPOT LIKE TIGGER UNABLE TO HOLD HER POSE AND WAVING A PEN IN THE AIR
City Council head Lori Wetmouse!
LORI IS HOLDING PICTURES OF PEOPLE, STUCK ONTO STICKS, UP IN THE AIR
Newspaper Editor-in-Chief Julie Bold!
JULIE IS TYPING FURIOUSLY ON HER LAPTOP
Representing Hansontown, Manitoba ...
LIGHTS UP ON TABLEAU OF THE HANSONTOWN TEAM
Radio DJ Jen Wilson!
JEN IS HOLDING UP ALL HER HANSON CD'S.
Writer Jan Wilson!
JAN IS WRITING ONE FAN LETTER AFTER ANOTHER.
Artist Jane Wilson!
JANE IS MAKING A COLLAGE FROM PICTURES OF HANSON.
TEAMS BREAK POSES AS PODIUMS SLIDE INTO PLACE. LIGHTS CHASE TOWARDS SIGN. THE WORD "CHALLENGE" ANIMATES.
AUDIENCE JOIN IN
Supertown Challenge!
AUDIENCE BREAKS FROM CLAPPING IN BEAT TO BIG APPLAUSE
DICK POWELL ENTERS
GWEN MASON ENTERS
MUSIC UP AND OUT. DICK TALKS OVER DYING APPLAUSE.
DICK GOES OVER TO JUDGE GWEN.
GWEN
Hello, Dick.
DICK
May I say how lovely you look today?
GWEN
No, you may not.
DICK
Too late!
GWEN
Dick, may we just get on with the game, please?
DICK
Isn't there any way I can impress you?
GWEN
You can tell me to explain the rules.
DICK
Gwen! Explain the rules! Was that impressive?
GWEN
No. I lied. I just wanted to proceed. Both teams will be issued challenges. They are scored according to how well they do. Whoever gets the most points will be today's Supertown.
MUSICAL FLOURISH-DICK MOVES TO WHEEL-GWEN MOVES TO HER DESK
"WHEEL OF DIFFERENT THINGS" MUSIC PLAYS
MUSIC CUE, DICK SPINS WHEEL AND HE STOPS IT ON ... MOVIES AND TV
WHOSERVILLE RINGS IN.
JESSIE
"Rainbow War!"
DICK
Correct!
GWEN
50 points to Whoserville!
BELL RINGS TIMES UP. MUSIC CUE
APPLAUSE MUSIC UP AND OUT into commercial break #1
it returns with MUSIC AND APPLAUSE, DICK AND GWEN IN CENTRE-DOWNSTAGE
GWEN
It was written in those dozen notes you sent me with that one rose.
DICK
Well, most people send a dozen roses and one note, but I like to be different.
GWEN
So I noticed. Let's continue. It's time to meet the contestants.
GWEN RETURNS TO HER DESK
DICK
Well, well, Whoserville! Say, isn't that where the Grinch stole Christmas from?
GWEN
That was Whoville, Dick.
DICK
Whatever.
(to JESSIE)
Do you ever sit still?
JESSIE
Not when I'm excited. And I'm excited to be here, Dick!
DICK
So you're the town historian. And what is Whoserville's history?
JESSIE
Well, it started out about 10 years ago as a small town, scattered all over the place. But in the past year, it's really been growing and coming together!
DICK
I see.
GWEN
Next is the Town Council Head, Lori Wetmouse.
DICK
And what do you do as Town Council head?
LORI
Whatever needs doing.
DICK
Ah. All right. And what are all these sticks you're holding?
LORI
I've brought pictures of some of our citizens. We place them on sticks for easy filing.
DICK
All right … and who do you have there?
LORI
Well, there's Mayor Ashley Swoon. And Fabian Page, our chief-of-police. And Mark Archive, who runs the hall of records. And Dean Kiwi, town statistician. Um … oh, here's Tashia Copy, our librarian. That's Andrew Deacon, who founded our church. Here's Vanessa Yukay and Vanessa Yuess- they run the optometry shop. Oh, and here's Samantha Slatt, Katrina Terr, and Julia Ree, our tailors. Joanne Spackle, our town repair woman. Natalie Coloratura, the piano teacher. Tim Tired, who runs the day-care center. Evan Brem, the French teacher. Claudia Neon, Cindy Love, and Lindsey Chicken, who own the Styles Salon. Baykent Tibby, who runs the arcade. Rob Questions, town videographer. Joe Plug, news anchor. Dan Combat, our sportscaster. And the rest of the town council - Emile Turtle, Donna Citrus, Dana Grapenut, Serena Stalkee, Brooke Audience, Jenn and Jenn, Leslie Furter, Freda Bio…
DICK HALF LISTENS, DISINTERESTED BUT POLITE. GWEN SEEMS GENUINELY INTERESTED, BUT GROWS IMPATIENT AS THE LIST GETS LONGER. AFTER A WHILE, DICK STARTS TO WHISTLE, CLEARLY BORED. GWEN FINALLY INTERRUPTS.
GWEN
Finally, we have Julie Bold, editor-in-chief of the Whoserville Daily News.
DICK
Oh? What's in the paper?
JULIE
Information, answers to questions people have about the town, and fiction stories people send in.
GWEN
Young lady, you have an American accent. Are you sure you're Canadian?
JULIE
I moved to Whoserville a few months ago from Denton, USA.
GWEN
A permanent move?
JULIE
Well, I go to Denton every Saturday, for business reasons. But otherwise I'm a full-fledged Whoservillian!
LORI
Anyone who moves into Whoserville is embraced as a citizen, Judge. Mayor Swoon thought she'd be good on the team.
GWEN
I suppose it'll be all right.
DICK
Now, I notice you're typing on a laptop. Why is that?
JESSIE
Well, you see Dick, the entire town wanted to be here today!
DICK
Okay…
JULIE
So we brought them with us!
SHE TURNS HER LAPTOP AROUND TO REVEAL A PICTURE OF THE TOWNSPEOPLE HOLDING UP A HUGE "HI DICK!" BANNER.
GWEN HITS THE BUZZER.
DICK
Oh, let them go on. I'm curious.
JULIE
We're a fanship, you see.
DICK
Don't you mean a township?
LORI
No, a fanship. Everyone in town is a fan of the show "Whose Line is it, Anyway?"
DICK
Oh, that show. I've seen it.
JESSIE
What do you think of it?
DICK
A bit disorganized, don't you think?
JESSIE
Well, that is the idea of the show. It's all spontaneous.
DICK
Who are those guys they have on all the time? All British and Americans, aren't they?
JULIE
Mostly, yeah.
DICK
They need some Canadians on that show!
LORI
Oh, they have a really good one, Dick! Colin Mochrie!
AT THE MENTION OF COLIN'S NAME, A CHEER GOES UP FROM THE TOWNSPEOPLE LISTENING OVER THE INTERNET FEED.
DICK
Which one's he?
JULIE
I'll show you a picture.
SHE TYPES ON HER COMPUTER, AND A PICTURE OF COLIN COMES UP.
JESSIE
No, he isn't! He's hilarious!
DICK
I have my doubts…
GWEN
Actually, Dick, I've seen that show. I find Colin to be extremely funny. In fact, he's my favorite of all that show's performers!
DICK
You have??? You do??? You know, I was only kidding. Really. I think he's hilarious! So, uh, Gwen … do you find him … sexy?
GWEN
Oh, absolutely!
WHOSER SCREAMS FROM THE INTERNET FEED.
GWEN
Not really. He has more hair.
DICK
Yes, well … uh, let's go talk to the Hansontown players.
DICK
Hi, Gwen - I mean, Jen. You're a DJ, huh? What music do you play?
JEN
(shrieking)
All Hanson, all the time!
ALL THE HANSONTOWN PLAYERS SHREIK. EVERYBODY HOLDS THEIR EARS.
(to GWEN)
You really like that Mochrie guy?
GWEN
I really do! And next up we have writer Jan Wilson.
DICK
Hello, Jan.
JAN
Hi!
DICK
Um, you dropped some of your stories, here.
JAN
They're not stories! They're letters!
DICK
Letters?
JAN
Fan letters! To HANSON!!!!
MORE SCREAMS.
DICK
All right.
(to GWEN)
What is it you like about him?
GWEN
He's smart, witty, handsome … but mostly he's just very, very funny!
DICK
I can be funny! I'm a funny guy!
GWEN
I mean funny as in humorous, not odd. The last Hansontown player is artist Jane Wilson.
DICK
Hi, Jane.
JANE REACHES OUT AND SHAKES DICK'S HAND.
HER HANDS ARE STICKY WITH GLUE FROM THE COLLAGE, AND FOR A MOMENT SHE AND DICK CAN'T GET APART. DICK FINALLY JERKS HIS HAND AWAY, AND FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF MINUTES FINDS HIS HAND STICKING TO HIS INDEX CARDS. HE TRIES TO SUBTLY DEAL WITH THE PROBLEM.
HE LOOKS HOPEFULLY AT GWEN. SHE ROLLS HER EYES. DICK RUNS OVER TO THE WHEEL OF DIFFERENT THINGS AND SPINS IT. HE STOPS IT ON "JUDGE". HIS HAND GETS STUCK TO THE WHEEL.
GWEN
Dick, it's not time for that, it's time for shameless plugs.
WHOSERVILLE RINGS IN.
JULIE
Latka Gravas on "Taxi"!
GWEN
Correct. 100 points to Whoserville.
DICK COMES BACK ONSTAGE, WIPING THE GLUE OFF HIS HANDS WITH A CLOTH. HE STANDS CENTER STAGE AND SHOUTS TO THE ANNOUNCER.
DICK
OK, hit it!
ANNOUNCER
Do I really have to do this?
DICK
Yes! C'mon!
ANNOUNCER
Fine…
HE BEGINS MAKING NOISES AS IF PLAYING SOUND EFFECTS. DICK TRIES VALIANTLY TO PLAY THE GAME AS COLIN DOES, BUT GETS COMPLETELY LOST.
ANNOUNCER
I'm doing what you told me to do!
DICK
Well, do it more slowly!
GWEN HITS HER BUZZER.
DICK
(looking disappointed)
Oh, all right. We'll be right back with Shameless Plugs and more surprises, right here on....
AUDIENCE
Supertown Challenge!!!
MUSIC AND FADE-OUT into commercial
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