Twenty-something years ago a young woman was kicked in utero by a baby whom she decided to name "Leonardo," in honor of the painter who had done the picture in front of which she was standing when the future star of This Boy's Life, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet, and some flick called Titanic made his first impression on the world.
Five hundred years ago, that painter, Leonardo da Vinci, had been commissioned to cast a 24 foot tall bronze monument of a horse for the City of Milan. Leonardo made a clay model of the statue, but, before it could be cast, a French army invaded Italy and all of the bronze for the statue was used to make artillery, instead. But cannon weren't enough to save Milan, and the French seized the city. When the French archers saw Leonardo's giant clay model of the horse, they shot it with arrows until it was completely destroyed.
TODAY, as a way of saying, "Thank you" to Italy for having given the world the Renaissance (including Leonardo!), a group of Americans has finally commissioned the casting of the horse in bronze, and it is scheduled to be unveiled in September, 1999, in Milan, Italy, 500 years to the day after the French army destroyed Leonardo's great clay model. (In this, it is rather like France's gift of the Statue of Liberty to the United States of America on their 100th anniversary, to thank the U.S. for helping to inspire the Revolution which overthrew the French monarchy . . . which had destroyed Leonardo's horse!)
So far, contributions towards this project have been received from every one of the United States, except for:
We, ourselves, have no involvement, financial or otherwise, in this project except that every cheap-ass, tight-fisted person here has sent in a contribution. If we are willing to donate money towards this project, we hope that you will also find it worthy of a contribution "in cash or kind." To that end, we have added a button link to the official site for Leonardo's Horse, which has full details, photographs, a reprint of an article about the project from Smithsonian magazine, and -- for your convenience -- several different ways of making a contribution, including sending a check by surface mail if you don't give out your credit card number over the Internet. (We sure don't!) Every contributor will, naturally, be memorialized.
Knowing our visitors as well as we do, we were shocked to see the name of Wyoming on the list of states from which no contributions have been received. Surely our regular visitors can think of someone from Wyoming who deserves to be memorialized for centuries to come by this statue which is being built to undo the damage caused by a fury of drunken violence. Anyone? Anyone?
Come to think of it, as of March, 1999, there was not one single listed contribution from, or even "In Honor Of" Leonardo da Vinci's world-famous namesake. What? Paramount Pictures, which grossed more than a billion dollars off of Titanic couldn't kick in twenty-five bucks in honor of its star? His fans couldn't chip in that much to honor him? The members of his "possee," almost all of whom are making big bucks nowadays couldn't make a donation in his name as a birthday present to him? Ai, yi, yi, yi, YI! And people in Hollywood accuse us of being tightwads. . . . Five bucks you can't spare? Even the lowest-paid schlub here sent in five dollars!
Please don't think that these guilt-trip tactics are in any way, shape or form endorsed or condoned by anyone connected with Leonardo da Vinci's Horse, Inc., by the way -- they are our own personally cruel and vindictive way of venting our spleen at the world. In fact, most of the money so far contributed to the erection of Leonardo's Horse has come from a small group of people close to the project. WE think it is about time for the rest of the world to pick up the slack, honor Leonardo (da Vinci, that is), and say, "Thank you, Italy, for the Renaissance."
By the way, for the benefit of you New Agers who are willing to spend fifty dollars for a quartz crystal you could buy for fifty cents at any rockhound convention: Milan was also, apparently, one of the homes of the first Tarot deck, and some of the earliest known Tarot cards were commissioned by the same Sforza Duke who commissioned Leonardo's horse. The retail cost of a new U.S. Games "Visconti-Sforza Tarot Deck" is twice the suggested contribution requested for Leonardo's Horse. Think about your karmic debts the next time you pull out your wallet, check book or credit card. . . .
