Remember, only tourists get struck by lightning!!
This My Little Pony Online Communitah contains mature, adult content! Discretion is advised for young children, overly sensitive or uptight people, and for immature nutbags who can't handle ponies in strange drunken abusive semi-nude vulgar and profane situations. You've been warned! If you want to flee screaming, now's the time to do it, and I will graciously show your fragile ass to the door!
For the rest of you who decide to be brave, welcome to Quacker County! Yes, Quacker, as in duck, and County, as in regional area larger than a city but smaller than a state! My name is Madame Evil Dead Pony, but you can call me Master!
... Wait, my lawyers just told me I can't say that anymore, but feel free to call me any other name you might think of.
Over these years I've noticed one thing: people either love me or hate me. Some people, while they are hating me, also seem to fear me tremendously! Which is all rather amusing, but understandable, since I am after all, Evil and Dead. I am also delightfully insane and have a shameless addiction to the citrusy luv-and-fizzy-juice known as Mountain Dew! And if that wasn't enough to make babies cry, I have moved out to a more rural area and have started listening to country music! Balanced out by a healthy dose of white-knuckle rage music, of course.
But I am really not as mean as I seem.... or act, or appear to be on a regular basis. I am a nice demon! Of course, being as viciously intelligent and wildly talented as I am (snork), I have the potential to be a powerful influence but instead curb all those antisocial tendencies and resort to flagrant use of profanity and to having whiskey/vodka fights. Top it off with the resident pretty man-creatures dressed in skimpy clothes and there's enough fun for me in QC that I never have to leave! What could possibly be more fun than throngs of land-dwelling killer whales, a Dead CPK pony, demons in positions of authority, an evil sweater-wearing orange kitten, Mountain Dew and good old-fashioned cross dressing? It's fun for the whole family!!
Quacker County isn't your average My Little Pony Community. It's actually a town, not a county, and it's a pretty backwoods town at that. At last count the pony census was up past 300, and the whales, frankly, are far too slippery to catch, so their numbers are currently unknown but bordering on frightening. Yes, land-dwelling killer whales are as important as ponies in Quacker County! They hold political office, they marry other ponies and produce questionable spawn, and are so numerous that Salty could make a fortune off handbags and throw rugs, if he was ever sober enough to catch any of them. Whales also go well with a side order of mashed potatoes and some lima beans.
Now this little Floriduh town had nothing to do with the Indecision 2000 Presidential Election, although they get plenty of angry letters from surrounding towns about the strange smells, pretty lights and obnoxious noises. The smells and noises are pretty self-explanitory, but no one will claim the pretty lights.
Other than the occasional lawsuit, residents of Quacker County get along with each other pretty well! They had their share of villains, including the Fey Queen Mab and Kinky Parker the Marauder, but for the most part the QC Police Department is used to store Y2K provisions (yes, still) and LICK's band equipment. QC is the perfect society! No one pays for anything, so no one bothers to steal anything, so there is no crime. Political structure has gone from Monarchy to Democracy and back to a Monarchy, with the descovery that Al, a local baby brother, was the King of Quacker County. Upon hearing this news, most political figures promptly retired, glad to be rid of all that extra responsibility. Now they devote their time to their hobbies, which include all seven of the deadly sins.
Males tend to be more powerful socially than females, mostly because there are so few males and so many women who desire their services. Baby ponies tend to be the most mature residents of QC, and they work constantly behind the scenes with King Al to keep the town running smoothly. Average IQ's are pretty high, although the older a pony gets the dumber they seem to act. But think about it, it's fun to act dumb! And why should the adults take any responsibility when the babies are handling everything so nicely? So while the babies could easily take over the town and drown their parents in the Waterway, they choose not to because watching Uncle Salty chase whales in a drunken stupor is one of the finer amusements in life, and watching Troy flirt with Wiggy is rewarding in and of itself.
As for the QC Online Communitah, we all converge and get wild and funkadelic (did I just say that? *slaps forehead* gadammit!) at the infamous adult-themed message board known as the Quacker County Graffiti Board! The QCGB Gang is a group of my favorite online people who are fun to hang around with, and who make my time online very enjoyable. These are muh pals! These are the ponies that I like spending time with, and with friends like these guys who needs enemies? LMAO!
There are more brilliant artists in the QCGB Gang than I know of anywhere else, and I love seeing everyone's art and reading the kick ass stories. However, we do get dirty, vulgar and profane, and sometimes we drink shamelessly and sometimes we run about in leather thongs and dog collars. Sometimes we have interfamilial relationships that aren't technically legal, and we often traumatize our poor kids, but the Graffiti Board is fun to hang out at because we can do all that crap. There won't be any "Off Topic" messages at that board, since there is no topic. There are rules though, including INTRODUCING yourself when you first post, and no-brainers like don't post porn and don't spam and don't try to save our souls and don't do anything that pisses ole Auntie EDP off, because I've got those exclusive rights to delete anything I don't like. I am a dictator! I am a tyrant! And I am a damn good one!
Have a Mountain Dew, relax (although I don't suggest kicking off your shoes) and enjoy your ride through Quacker County! The frame to your left will help you navigate this backass Floriduh town, and might even take you downstairs a notch, so watch out, have fun, and feel free to email me with comments, hate mail, praise, gifts, love, smack, crap or just to chat. Much thankies!
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