-
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
-
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(This must be the shoplifter special!)
-
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
-
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's "just" a suggestion!)
-
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
(printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)
-
On "Marks & Spencer" Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
-
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)
-
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce accidents on construction sites if we just kept those 5 year olds off the fork lifts.)
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On Nytol sleep aid:
WARNING: may cause drowsiness.
(Now, why did I take that Nytol?)
-
On a Korean kitchen knife:
WARNING: Keep out of children.
(or pets! What's for dinner?)
-
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
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On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
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On Sainsbury's peanuts:
WARNING: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
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On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(have a lobotomy)
-
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Then how do I stop it?)
-
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief)
