(disclaimer: this song was origonally written for shania twain. cledus t judd made a parody nof it [if shania was mine] and i have not asked for their permission to use it.' this song was written before the news aout jerry leaving sliders was public knowledge.) "If Jerry Was Mine" (to the tune of Shania Twain's Any Man of Mine) 
if jerry was mine he would be proud of me 
really fall in love cuz i'm so darn lovely 
and on our first date we could have a good time 
even without moonshine

if jerry was mine 
say it fits just right 
cuz my little denim jeans would never be too tight 
and there's no way i'd have a bad hair day 
cuz i'd buy me some hair spray. 

oh i'd love to seduce him 
but he's so busy just producin' 
and i'll i do is pray pray pray pray 
i'll be on his show sliders one day. 

if jerry was mine
i'd probably lose my mind
if he only squeezed me pleased me, teased me one lifetime
and if he only knew 
all the things i'd do
i'd be the house cleanin meal cookin child rearin kind
if jerry was mine

if jerry was mine 
he would have to agree 
can't no one bake sweet things better than me
and when i have to make mac and cheeese
he would say may i have some plese?
and he'd never have to wonder
whose bed my sneakers been under
with his under mine mine mine mine
the man's so doggone fine!!

if jerry was mine
i think i'd go slap blind
if he only sqeezed me pleased me teased me
one life time
and if he only knew 
all the things i'd do
i'd be the house cleaning meal cookin child rearin kind
if jerry was mine

if jerry was mine
he'd be starin at my yummy little tummy  
and my booty shakin rump behind
well i'd shimmy, shake be 
more than he could take
i'd love to see him in a magazine 
(centerfold if ya know what i mean!)
oh me! oh my! i wish that jerry
would by a us a house 
somewhere north of alabama!!

2, 4, 6, 8, 9! 
oh i wish that jerry was mine!!



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