Age of Legends: Time of wonders. Posters of then could create ideas that posters of now find perfect in every way. One such idea was the two-souls theory, which modern day posters believe to be the archetype of a great post. Also, time with no Elses or Newbies, when the Dumb One's presence was unknown.
Angreal: a device from the Age of Legends. Said to be originally created by a golden-eyed poster, it comes in the form of a super compressed chocolate bar, able to make posters more energetic and pleased-feeling, allowing the creation of better theories and posts.
Animal names: Names earned from post-type, i e dont' post often? Llama..stubborn poster? Mule, Wolf, Goat, etc.... or earned in battle *arguments on board*
Asmoboard: Home of the snitch.
Asmodean: Great annoyance known for rudeness, lack of style and general stupidity.
Baa'alzamon: the name which Goatfriends refer to the Great Goat. Currently not in use as their are no living Goatfriends.
Barn, battle of: triggered by an attempt from Bela at getting into the where the hay was. The battle resulted in the farmer getting Bela back into the stable.
Belafire: you don't want to know what Belafire is. (often involves a weave of the dreaded beans)
Board, battle of: Triggered by the purely rhetorical question of whether Snitchland or Theoryland was the better wot-resource.
Ended with yet another defeat for the Snitch.
Bowl of the Winds (n): Legendary bowl that allows multiple users to achieve a high aslo known as 'floating on the winds'. When used correctly, it may cause the weather to be made right, or possibly make the users so high, that they wont care about the weather. (syn) bong, peace pipe.
NOTE: During the Age of Legends, one of the fabled 9 Rods of Dominion was used in conjunction with the Bowl. This hollow Rod had the number 420 ingraved upon it. Both of these artifacts are believed to be ter'angreal. old fragments of documents state that an Aes Sedai called Mary Jane Sedai mixed a sort of 'grass' and channeled Fire into these ter'angreal. People from the Third Age can only wonder as to the marvels of the AoL.
Children of the Horse: a society formed upon strict beliefs, formed by Bela Mare during the War of the Hundred Posts. Falsely believe that all good ideas are bad, and that they will lead to the release of the Dumb One. Known disparagingly as Muleycloaks.
Chosen, the: name given to the thirteen most powerful posters of the Age of Legends, destined forever to post on the Theoryland messageboard. Their number has been somewhat reduced since several of them seem to have gone missing since the end of the Age of Legends. There are, however, four Darkassociates equal to the Chosen in strength, status and honour.
Dumbfriend: poster who willingly dedicates his posts to the Dumb One, in the belief that they will become the stupidest posters, being only slightly smarter than the Dumb One himself.
Dumblords: Dumbfriends who not only post dumbly, but also tries to get others to post dumbly as well. They will actively try to convince all posters that being dumb is better.
Dumb One, The: A being of such ignorance and stupidity that his mere presence can bring about a board's downfall, by making all posts meaningless and full of stupid theories.
Dumb One, Naming the: Saying the true name of the Dumb One, Yoda, brings about a swift attack of stupidity that results in a dumb post with dumb ideas.
Else: person who has willingly given up his or her name to the Dumb One to become a nuisance on Theoryland. Elses are so stupid that most people almost feel sorry for them. What reward tha Dumb One has promised the Elses to make then willingly give up their names remains open to speculation.
Also called the Namelss.
End of the Third Age: When, wonder of all wonders, Tamyrlin actually updated Theoryland. Shocked the posters so much that the posts went rampant and broke the world.
Factions: group of poster agreeing on some minor or major point. Factions can be good, like the one-soulers, or bad, like the two- soulers.
Forsaken: not to be confused with the Chosen, the Forsaken are the 13 dumbest of the Dumblords, these posters dedicated their posts to the Great Lord of the Dumb (the Dumbfriend name for the Dumb One) in the office of Yoda.
Glue: Bela's next incarnation.
Greeter, the: The position as greeter on Theoryland originally belonged to Goldeneyes, but was later snatched by the Mule. The mule is a lousy greeter, but so was GE, so no one really cares.
Hamsters: the driving force of ISTW. Studies suggest that disappearing posts and frquent server problems come from general
discontent among the hamsters.
the Horn of Theoryland: the famous Horn, that when sounded, shall bring the Ancients of Old back to fight after the Last Book. Inscibed on the Horn, a prophecy says:
"In the last, lorn Thread,
'gainst the Posts of strong dread,
the Penguins shall raid,
and the Hamsters shall feed,
but the Board is no bar to my call."
M'Haels, multiple: during the War of the Hundred posters several poster claimed to have M'Haelish qualities. These posters were drawn to the glory and the honour of the great Bootlicker, but the had, of course, no chance of matching him The best known were Mandarb and Dark Dragon.
Newbies: a society dedicated to the destrucion of reason. Its member believe in posting just to get their names on the Board, and see anyone with a decent point as a threat.
Nit-picking: Fun, fun fun!
Oaths, Three: Oaths taken by the Chosen and DarkAssociates. They are: 1) To speak no word as an Else, 2) To Flame any theory unworthy of existence, and 3) To protect the board against the powers of the Dumb One for as long as they may post.
Old Tongue, the: Elder Snow's rambling tongue, being the oldest one at Theoryland. While it is expected that Chosen be able to understand the Old Tongue, if not write or speak it, it is known that Dragon Thief only knows the barest bits of it, having to continuously ask for translations of Elder Snow's long winded rambles. Others are suspected to not have as good a grasp of it as they claim.
Owl: name given to Watcher during happy-hour.
Owl, false: posters claiming to be the Owl. All of them have been underage and therefor not able to fulfill any part of the Prophecies of the Owl, as they had no wine.
The Pattern of an Age: The Wheel of Time weaves the threads of posts into the Pattern of an Age, often simply called the Pattern, forming the theories and ideas for that Age.
Penguins, the: foul minions of the Dumb One, these beasts will prey upon every Chosen with even the slightest let down of guard. They are known to have a favorable disposition towards beer, most noticeably XXXX, and are also prone to steal other beverages. It is being researched into whether or not mysterious absences of Tabac are the work of these foul creatures as well, or just another rampade of Thief's. Only the lackeys of the Dumb One will ever side with Penguins, as any other poster knows their true behaviors.
Post (verb): the ability to enter an idea on the Theoryland mb.
Posting forms: similar to the swords forms of yore, these posting forms define the styles of a poster's attack on weird, wrong, or just stupid theories. The more obvious ones are the Berating Boar Rushes Down the Mountain, the Humiliating Heron Wades the Rushes, the Laughing Lion on the Hill, and Punishingly Parting the Silk. When a posting form is successful, the post being attacked many times gets Flamed.
Posts: surely everyone knows what a post is!
Posts, Nibbled: When the Hamsters get agitated and start eating posts, but don't eat the whole post, it becomes Nibbled. This often results in the posts being spread about in two or three places on the board, also referred to as the "double post."
Posts, missing: There are several theories as to the cause of missing posts. It was previously widely assumed that missing posts were taken by a online dragon, though some authorites attributed the phenomena to a ghost. Recent resarch made by Moonshadow Sedai of the Green Ajah and her Warder Uno, however, suggests that the missing posts are actually eaten by the hamsters driving ISTW.
Rant: Massive verbal flow caused by annoyance, anger or agrrevation. Take cover when a rant is incoming.
Rantee: the victim, or receiver, of a rant.
Ranter: performer of a rant.
Ramble: Much like a rant, but is not caused by aggression, but usually by boredom. Rambles may contain stray thoughts and anything flowing through the mind at the moment of rambling.
Rambler: performer of rambling. They are usually of a goofey disporition.
Sa'angreal: similar to the angreal, but much much more powerful. This chocolate bar is said by some to be better than sex.
Shayol Ghul Gazette: The best place to read the pure and uncorrupted truth.
Stinkers: Nomadic society wandering the Web in search of the next book.
They are extremely annoying, as the phrase "do you know the Book" is a strain on the nerves of decent posters.
Subject lines: very hard to come up with.
Tamyrlin: Lord of Theoryland and Exalted WOT-links.
Ter'angreal: similiar to angreal and sa'angreal, but instead of increasing one's posts, they simply flavor it. Known ter'angreal are the Snickers, Mars, Three Musketeers, Milky Way, and Hershey's.
Time of Madness: the usual state of Theoryland.
also:
Time of Madness (also known as The Troubles): Period of time during the War of a Hundred Posts when the Dark Amyrlin was exiled from the Internet and AIM, due to work restrictions and an uncooperative cable modem. This time was characterized by extreme boredom, incoherent rants, and a hideous lack of creativity.
Theory, Flaming of: any action resulting in the complete humilitation of a theory and/or the author of said theory. The Dark Amyrlin, the Flamer of Theories, often claims this as her domain, though she is by no means the only Chosen to perform it.
Turkey: when in Turkey; gobble, gobble.
Tremul: creature of the Dumb One. Twisted offspring of the White Tower in which stupidity has risen to heights previously unencountered. Its very name inspires anger and annoyance. Among its known weaknesses are stupidity, lack of imagination and personality and lack of higher brain functions.
Two souls: stupid and incorrect theory.
War of the Goat: An attempt from Uno's side to convert the board to the Way of the Goat triggered the First War of the Goat in his absence. The effects of the war were awesome; never has so much insanity surfaced on Theoryland.
The War resulted in the failure of the conversion of the Board, but Uno didn't take it too hard.
Way of the Goat: posting philosophy created by Uno in August 1999. Its main view was that stubborness was the key to discussion and the best way of achieving good posts. Uno abandoned the Way of the Goat upon becoming Moonshadow's warder, but several posters still pay homage to this pagan religion.
White Tower: messageboard on ISTW. Home of posters like Brighton, Blaise and the Prophet.
Winter's Heart: I'll believe it when I read it.
Wise One: A title claimed by Moonshadow in the Third Age. It is still debated whether she chose this as a title of respect or as a joke, being that some believe it was originally WiseAss One, referring to her early position of DarkAssociate. The records, however, do not say the real reason she chose the name, so it is open to speculation.
Got an Idea for a definition? Email me at Moonshadow's Pigeon Service
, and i'll run it by my Editor, and see if we can't get it on the page :)
