#1. But everybody looks funny naked!
#2. You woke me up for that?
#3. Did I mention the video camera?
#4. Do you smell something burning?
#5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...
#6. Try breathing through your nose.
#7. A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!
#8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
#9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?


#10. But whipped cream makes me break out.
#11. Person 1: This is your first time..right? Person 2: Yeah.. today
#12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!
#13. Can you please pass me the remote control?
#14. Do you accept Visa?
#15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
#16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
#17. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
#18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.
#19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?


#20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
#21. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
#22. Do you get any premium movie channels?
#23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
#24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!
#25. Got any penicillin?
#26. But I just brushed my teeth...
#27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
#28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
#29. I want a baby!


#30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
#31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
#32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
#33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
#34. I think you have it on backwards.
#35. When is this supposed to feel good?
#36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
#37. You're good enough to do this for a living!
#38. Is that blood on the headboard?
#39. Did I remember to take my pill?


#40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
#41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...
#42. That leak better be from the waterbed!
#43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
#44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..
#45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
#46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance..
#47. No, really... I do this part better myself!
#48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
#49. This would be more fun with a few more people..


#50. You're almost as good as my ex!
#51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
#52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?
#53. You look younger than you feel.
#54. Perhaps you're just out of practice.
#55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
#56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.
#57. Now I know why he/she dumped you...
#58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
#59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.


#60. What tampon?
#61. Have you ever considered liposuction?
#62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
#63. What are you planning to make for breakfast?
#64. I have a confession...
#65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
#66. Are those real or am I just behind the times?
#67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?
#68. Is that a hanging sculpture?
#69. You'll still vote for me, won't you?


#70. Did I mention my transsexual operation?
#71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something!
#72. Did you come yet, dear?
#73. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...
#74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!
#75. Does this count as a date?
#76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!
#77. Hic! I need another beer for this please.
#78. I think biting is romantic- don't you?
#79. Q: You can cook, too right? A: (Whaddaya think I'm doin'?)


#80. When would you like to meet my parents?
#81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like... Woman: Yourself?
#82. Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"?
#83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.
#84. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.
#85. (in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?
#86. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?
#87. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.
#88. Sorry but I don't do toes!
#89. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!


#90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
#91. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
#92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer".
#93. So that's why they call you MR. Flash!
#94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
#95. Is this a sin too?
#96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!
#97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?
#98. Long kisses clog my sinuses...
#99. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...
#100. How long do you plan to be "almost there"?
#101. You mean you're NOT my blind date?