Did
you hear about the blond who….
*
takes 2 hours to watch 60 MINUTES?
*
sold the car for gas money?
*
when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, she said "Cherry or Grape?"
*
took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept?
*
tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order?
*
tried to drown a fish?
*sent
me a fax with a stamp on it?
*when
the bottom of the application says "Sign Here" she puts "Sagittarius?"
*thinks
socialism means partying?
*they
had to burn down the school to get her out of third grade?
*died
because there was a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool?
*tripped
over a cordless phone?
A blond man was playing Trivial Pursuit one
night. It was his
turn,
he rolled the dice and he landed on "Science & Nature." His
question
was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can
you
hear it?"
He thought for a time and then
asked..."Is it on or off?"
Three blondes (Brunets, Norwegians,
Plumbers, Danish, college
students,
cartoonists.... you can decide whatever you want. I am not
trying
to pick on Blondes in general. It's
just a funny joke!) died in
a
car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates
of
heaven. St Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if
they
can answer one simple religious question.
The question posed by St. Peter is
"What is Easter"?
The first blonde replies, "Oh,
that's easy! It's the holiday in
November
when everyone gets together, eats turkey and are thankful..."
"Wrong!, you are not welcome
here, I'm afraid. You must go to
the
other place!" replies St. Peter. He turns to the second blond, and
asks
her the same question: "What is Easter?"
The second blonde replies,
"Easter is the holiday in December
when
we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth
of
Jesus."
St Peter looks at the second blonde,
bangs his head on the on
the
pearly gates in disgust and tells her she's wrong and will have to
join
her friend in the other place. She is not welcome in Heaven.
He
then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "Do YOU
know
what Easter is"?
The third blonde smiles confidently
and looks St Peter in the
eyes,
"I know what Easter is."
"Oh?" says St Peter,
incredulously.
"Easter is the Christian holiday
that coincides with the Jewish
celebration
of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last
supper
and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one
of
his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed
in
the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross
with
nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in
a
nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder."
St Peter smiled broadly with delight.
The third blonde continued...
"Every year the boulder is moved
aside
so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will
be
six more weeks of winter."